Wikiadmin at 09:42, 27 November 2020

2020-11-27T09:42:51Z

Wikiadmin: Created page with "== Popular Myths of GYE Members == '''Myth: My behavior proves that I'm a worthless''' * See Self Worth. * See [https://intercom.help/gye-faq/en/articles/4590389-life-skil..."

2020-11-25T11:03:54Z

Created page with "== Popular Myths of GYE Members == '''Myth: My behavior proves that I'm a worthless''' * See Self Worth. * See [https://intercom.help/gye-faq/en/articles/4590389-life-skil..."

New page

== Popular Myths of GYE Members ==
'''Myth: My behavior proves that I'm a worthless'''
* See [[Self Worth]].
* See [https://intercom.help/gye-faq/en/articles/4590389-life-skills-self-acceptance-and-compassion Life Skills: Self-Acceptance and Compassion]
* Is a diamond that is dirty a "bad diamond"? We're precious children of Hashem, and have a neshama which a חלק אלוק ממעל. This habit doesn't ''define us'' any more than lashon hara. Thousands of GYE members have been able to overcome this challenge, and feel amazing. You can too!
* There are countless guys struggling, it's just that no one talks about it. check the GYE forums to meet some of them. you are not alone!
'''Myth: My double life shows I'm lacking in Yiras Shamayim'''
* We have many incredible ''Yerei Shamayim'' on GYE. Once a habit or compulsive behavior is developed, ''yiras shamayim'' and willpower can help you get motivated, but to actually break the habit, you'll need good strategies and techniques.
* Talk about the Nisayon in our generation, and why it's so hard. See [[Perspectives on the Struggle]].
* You are not a loser or rasha.

'''Myth: I don't want it enough'''

* Motivation is important, it's the engine that gets us started. But willpower alone is not enough to break a habit, you need ''strategies''.

We can also deal with the following:

* '''Masturbation is a ''need'''''. See [[Beliefs about Urges]].
* '''Porn is harmless, it's just a screen'''. See [[Understanding Pornography]] and [[Pornography Use Effects]]. Maybe mention Halacha too.
* '''The problem will go away after marriage'''.
** The truth is that it won't, it gets more complicated then and it can harm your marriage. It can also lead to divorce.
** See [[dating]]. The Porn Myth is also have a good chapter on this.
* '''If I give up porn, my life will empty and lame'''.
** Talk about how recovery can be fun (like in fortify). We can focus on how it can be very satisfying - some guys say it was one of the most significant experiences of their lives. We can introduce the aviation metaphor that way.
** Also focus that in GYE you'll learn to replace this bad habit with other enjoyable activities, that will give you real deep satisfaction. See [[Lifestyle Balance]].
** Quote testimonials from [[How I reached 90 days]]
And maybe another one to address '''black and white thinking'''.

* See [https://intercom.help/gye-faq/en/articles/4590393-life-skills-anti-perfectionism Life Skills: Anti-perfectionism]

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		+	SZ: Generally, I also think the emphasis on “self control” misses the myriad other emotional factors that go into excessive struggles in this area which I find are rarely just deficiencies in self control (as compared to their non- struggling peers). I think the areas of self- esteem, shame, lack of other positive experiences, black and white thinking, perfectionism, poor coping skills, lack of self- compassion and respect, etc. are typically much more relevant to someone with a significant struggle. I would also reiterate that I think focusing on the self control, especially by charting and especially by bringing such charts to one’s rebbe, can potentially cause more harm than good. I also have concerns about general rebbeim being involved at such a specific level of the bachur’s masturbatory behavior.
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	== Popular Myths of GYE Members ==		== Popular Myths of GYE Members ==
	'''Myth: My behavior proves that I'm a worthless'''		'''Myth: My behavior proves that I'm a worthless'''

Talk:Debunking Myths - Revision history

Wikiadmin at 09:42, 27 November 2020

Wikiadmin: Created page with "== Popular Myths of GYE Members == '''Myth: My behavior proves that I'm a worthless''' * See Self Worth. * See [https://intercom.help/gye-faq/en/articles/4590389-life-skil..."