Difference between revisions of "Boundaries"
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| + | This can simply be called '''Rules'''. Watson (2013)<ref>Watson David L., T. R. G. (2013). Self-Directed Behavior: Self-Modification for Personal Adjustment - David L. Watson, Roland G. Tharp - Google Books. Cengage Learning. <nowiki>https://books.google.co.il/books/about/Self_Directed_Behavior_Self_Modification.html?id=RnajZreJgGwC&redir_esc=y</nowiki> p. 288</ref>. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Simple boundaries: | ||
| + | |||
| + | * Not opening certain websites (list which ones). Avoid high risk situations (list which ones). (HO 3:17) | ||
| + | |||
| + | == References == | ||
| + | |||
| + | * Weiss, D. (2000). 101 Freedom Exercises (3rd Ed). Tip 17-27. | ||
| + | |||
== The Taphsic Method == | == The Taphsic Method == | ||
| − | See [[Taphsic]] | + | See [[Taphsic]]. |
| + | |||
| + | == The Yesod Challenge == | ||
| + | ''Hashem has brought the "Tree of Knowledge" from the Garden of Eden back again. Will we succeed this time?'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | The YESOD Challenge [YESOD = Yiddish Entertainment Sites Only Defense] | ||
| + | |||
| + | [https://guardyoureyes.com/GYEFiles/MP3s/gyeboost/422-Nadel-Eitz-Hadaas.mp3 Click here] to listen to a short audio (4 min), describing the background to this challenge. | ||
| + | |||
| + | It all started in the garden of Eden thousands of years ago, as it says: "And she SAW that the tree was good to eat and that it was DESIRABLE TO THE EYES..." As the final generation before Moshiach, we have been given the tremendous opportunity to fix the original sin. | ||
| + | |||
| + | So what does the YESOD Challenge involve? | ||
| + | |||
| + | Do you have access to non-kosher websites (due to work needs, or other)? Accept upon yourself for a certain period of time, that when it comes to entertainment you will only use religious websites. (If you see it's not too hard, extend your resolution - and enjoy the FREEDOM!) | ||
| + | |||
| + | If you're ready to step up to the plate and accept the challenge, fill out the short form [https://guardyoureyes.com/news/item/the-yesod-challenge here]. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Note: If a blanket-ban on ALL non-religious sites for entertainment is too difficult for you at this stage, we suggest starting with just 1 or 2 sites that you often frequent for entertainment or news (e.g. CNN, Fox, FB or Youtube) which you know are not healthy for you to be on. | ||
| + | |||
| + | (See [https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yzJFFBzEBTGNftN9fVjnxS57V0iWnPGWV5QrzUFINeU/edit this page] for some common questions people asked about the guidelines of this challenge, as well as some suggestions for alternate sites you can use instead of the non-Kosher ones). | ||
| + | |||
| + | See [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1u3rqDhUN1i1yrLiiGBHnKhuAVEhdY7cstZylgU5q7HA/edit?usp=sharing here] for INSPIRING COMMENTS sent in by those who signed up! | ||
==The "Ushmartem Es Mishmarti" Method== | ==The "Ushmartem Es Mishmarti" Method== | ||
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Notes | Notes | ||
*You can customize the shtar to include certain apps that are potentially unsafe, or categories of material like movies. | *You can customize the shtar to include certain apps that are potentially unsafe, or categories of material like movies. | ||
| + | <references /> | ||
| + | [[Category:Stimulus Control]] | ||
Latest revision as of 14:11, 6 January 2021
This can simply be called Rules. Watson (2013)[1].
Simple boundaries:
- Not opening certain websites (list which ones). Avoid high risk situations (list which ones). (HO 3:17)
References
- Weiss, D. (2000). 101 Freedom Exercises (3rd Ed). Tip 17-27.
The Taphsic Method
See Taphsic.
The Yesod Challenge
Hashem has brought the "Tree of Knowledge" from the Garden of Eden back again. Will we succeed this time?
The YESOD Challenge [YESOD = Yiddish Entertainment Sites Only Defense]
Click here to listen to a short audio (4 min), describing the background to this challenge.
It all started in the garden of Eden thousands of years ago, as it says: "And she SAW that the tree was good to eat and that it was DESIRABLE TO THE EYES..." As the final generation before Moshiach, we have been given the tremendous opportunity to fix the original sin.
So what does the YESOD Challenge involve?
Do you have access to non-kosher websites (due to work needs, or other)? Accept upon yourself for a certain period of time, that when it comes to entertainment you will only use religious websites. (If you see it's not too hard, extend your resolution - and enjoy the FREEDOM!)
If you're ready to step up to the plate and accept the challenge, fill out the short form here.
Note: If a blanket-ban on ALL non-religious sites for entertainment is too difficult for you at this stage, we suggest starting with just 1 or 2 sites that you often frequent for entertainment or news (e.g. CNN, Fox, FB or Youtube) which you know are not healthy for you to be on.
(See this page for some common questions people asked about the guidelines of this challenge, as well as some suggestions for alternate sites you can use instead of the non-Kosher ones).
See here for INSPIRING COMMENTS sent in by those who signed up!
The "Ushmartem Es Mishmarti" Method
A method developed by #HashemHelpMe
Intro
There's a beautiful ohr hachaim hakadosh on the Pasuk ושמרתם את משמרתי לבלתי עשות מחקות התועבת אשר נעשו לפניכם ולא תטמאו בהם (Acharei mos 18:30). It's a Posuk in the Parsha of Arayos that we read on Yom Kippur:
ושמרתם את משמרתי. יצו ה' על הגדרים השומרים לבלתי יבא להכשל בתיעוב, והוא אומרו ושמרתם את משמרתי פירוש משמרת הגדר, והטעם לבלתי עשות וגו' אפילו בשוגג
The Ohr Hachaim is bothered by two questions:
- What is bechukos hatoevos? You just listed all the things that you are not allowed to do. What's this mishmarti, What can't you do?
- What's this lashon levilty asos. It's like a lashon hifil. It's like, "and it shouldn't happen to happen". It should say, shelo laasos. what is "levilti asos?".
So he explains that it's referring to gedarim that you put in place so that it shouldn't happen - even by accident.
If you want a child not to go down a slide, you don't put a fence at the top of the ladder where the slide begins. You put the fence at the bottom of the ladder, you avoid the situation completely. You don't want to get into a situation that they're basically gonna slip. Similar to the Gamara that says that to a nazir you you tell them that when you come to a vineyard, you go schor, schor, go around the lekarma lo sikrav - you don't go into the kerem - you don't go into the vineyard, even though there's no issur of going into the vineyard, but you make yourself a geder.[2]
Doing this give your the ability to get started, because with all the determination to get started, it is going to go down the tubes, if in the bathroom you have an iPhone that's unfiltered and everything's at your fingertips, and your wife just yelled at him or you got rejected at work...
The Shtar
Write a contract, that says the following:
- I understand that an unfiltered device is not safe for me. And at this stage in time, I can't afford to access it even for kosher usage. And therefore I'm going to knas myself if I use an unsafe device, even for kosher purposes, even if I don't fall. So if I use an unsafe device to look up anything, even yeshivah world news, or to check my bank account, I will:
- Option 1: I'm going to take $___ (Add an amount), and I'm going to rip it up.
- Option 2: I'm going to take $___ (Add an amount), and give it to a tzedaka that is meaningless to me.[3]
- If I must use the device (e.g. my parents tell me to go on to arrange a flight or some other situation comes up). I will call or text a GYE member and tell them I have to go onto an unsafe device and that I'll call or text them a the half an hour later, that I'm off, and that I stayed clean.[4]
- The contract will expire on ______ (put a date on this, uh, 30 days or 60 days or a Yom Tov that's coming up etc.). Three days before this expires, I'll call either _____ or wherever it is to discuss continuing the shtar, if necessary or not.
Notes
- You can customize the shtar to include certain apps that are potentially unsafe, or categories of material like movies.
- ↑ Watson David L., T. R. G. (2013). Self-Directed Behavior: Self-Modification for Personal Adjustment - David L. Watson, Roland G. Tharp - Google Books. Cengage Learning. https://books.google.co.il/books/about/Self_Directed_Behavior_Self_Modification.html?id=RnajZreJgGwC&redir_esc=y p. 288
- ↑ See Shabbos 13a. וראה פרישה יו"ד סי' שפג: העולם טועים בפירושו והכי פירושו סחור סחור הוא תרגומו של סביב שעל סביב תרגם אונקלוס שתי פעמים סחור סחור וכאילו אמר אמרינן לנזיר סביב לכרם לא תקרב דהיינו משמרת למשמרת דאפילו סביב לכרם לא יקרב פן יתאוה לאכול מפרי הכרם ויכנס בו וראה רמב"ם הלכות נזירות פרק ה' הלכה י': מדברי סופרים שאסור לנזיר לעמוד במושב שותי יין ויתרחק ממנו הרבה שהרי מכשול לפניו, אמרו חכמים סביב לכרם לא יקרב.
- ↑ Like if they are Satmar they can give it to Lubavitch, if it's Lubavitch they can give it to Ponevezh, if it's Ponevezh they can give to Mizrachi... See an video on this topic by Rabbi Avigdor Miller at https://gyeboost.org/archives/15. The example of "giving $10 to a charity I don't like" is given in Tolin, D. F. (2016). Doing CBT : a comprehensive guide to working with behaviors, thoughts, and emotions. The Guilford Press. P. 185, 197.
- ↑ This technique is called Bookending.