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B'reishis: Got Character Defects? Congratulations, You're Human!

"G-d said, 'Let us make man.'" All of creation is done by G-d alone. Only in creation of man does G-d say "Let us make man."

G-d created animals and He created angels. Both are created in a state of completion. Now, G-d wanted a different type of being, one that is created essentially as an animal, but which, by his own efforts, will subdue his animalistic drives and become spiritual. G-d could have created man fully spiritual, but then he would have been an angel, not man.

Our character defects are part of our animal being. We have the ability to be different than animals, eliminate the character defects, and become what G-d intended us to be, not an angel, but a spiritual human being.

B'reishis: "Where are you?" (Aish.com Daily Blast)

God called unto man [Adam] and said to him, "Where are you?" (Genesis 3:9).

We read in Genesis that after Adam sinned, he tried to hide in the Garden of Eden. Was Adam so foolish to think that he could hide from God? Certainly not! He was hiding from himself, because it was himself that he could no longer confront. God's question to him was very pertinent: "I am here. I am always here, but where are you?"

Adam's answer to God describes man's most common defense: "I was afraid because I was exposed, and I therefore tried to hide" (Genesis 3:10). Since people cannot possibly conceal themselves from God, they try to hide from themselves. This effort results in a multitude of problems, some of which I described in Let Us Make Man (CIS, 1987).

We hear a great deal about people's search for God, and much has been written about ways that we can "find" God. The above verse throws a different light on the subject. It is not necessary for people to find God, because He was never lost, but has been there all the time, everywhere. We are the ones who may be lost.

When an infant closes it yes, it thinks that because it cannot see others, they cannot see it either. Adults may indulge in the same infantile notion - if they hide from themselves, they think they are hiding from God as well. If we find ourselves by getting to know who we are, we will have little difficulty in finding God, and in letting Him find us.

Noach: The Delusion of Rationalization

The Torah says that the generation of the Flood was destroyed because it was corrupt. The term the Torah uses for "corrupt" is chamas. The Talmud definition of chamas is taking something from another person by force, but paying for it. This is a type of thievery which a person may justify because, "I paid him for it." It is thievery nevertheless because the person did not want to sell it.

An ordinary thief may do teshuva because his conscience may bother him. A chamas thief will never do teshuva because he rationalizes his behavior and thinks he did no wrong. The generation of the Flood rationalized all their wrongful acts, hence they were beyond teshuva and had to be destroyed.

We have extraordinary ability to rationalize. We must be on our guard that we do not delude ourselves.

Lech Lecho: Bad Company is Bad for Recovery

The Torah says that Hashem spoke to Abraham after Lot had separated from him. Lot was not a spiritual person, and as long as Abraham was in his company, he did not receive any Divine communication.

There is no question that Abraham retained his piety and integrity even in the companionship of Lot. Hashem related to Abraham in this manner to teach us that regardless how strong a person is in his convictions, the association with immoral people is hazardous.

In recovery we are told to avoid "people, places and things" that can jeopardize our recovery. The Talmud says, "Do not trust in yourself (that you are beyond corruptibility) until the day of your death" (Ethics of the Fathers 2:4). We must use utmost caution to safeguard our recovery.

Vayeiro: Snap Out of Your Denial!

When the angels told Abraham that Sarah would bear a child, she laughed. "How can I bear a child at my age?" G-d revealed to Abraham that Sarah had laughed in disbelief. Sarah denied, saying, "I did not laugh."

Sfas Emes says that Sarah was a holy person and did not lie. When the Torah says, "Sarah denied," it means that Sarah was in denial, which is not the same as lying.

Sometimes we are unable to accept something about ourselves because it seems so alien to our being that we are certain that it could not possibly have happened. This is unconscious denial, and although it is not willful distortion of fact, it is no less destructive.

We must realize that human frailty is such that we are capable of things that we categorically disown.

Chayei Soro: It's the Little Things

The patriarch Abraham sends his servant, Eliezer, to find a wife for Abraham's son, Isaac. Standing at the well, Eliezer says, "I will ask a young woman for a drink. If she also offers water to my camels, I know that she is a proper match for Isaac."

Rebecca gave Eliezer a drink, and indeed offered water to his camels. She became the wife of Isaac, the matriarch Rebecca, mother of the Jewish nation.

The media makes us aware of great events: man walks on the moon, heart transplants, a Nobel prize for a great discovery. These are indeed epochal events. What significance can there be in the little things we do day in and day out? They do not move mountains or shake up entire populations.

A young girl gives a thirsty man a drink and water to his camels, and changes the course of world history.

The little things we do are important.

Toldos: Beware of Habit Becoming Second Nature

Isaac and Rebecca's son, Esau, married two pagan Hittite women, who were a source of agony to his parents, because they indulged in idol worship.

The Midrash says that Isaac was more distressed by the pagan rituals than Rebecca, because Rebecca grew up in the home of her father, Laban, who was an idol worshipper. Having been exposed to pagan rites in her childhood, Rebecca was not as provoked as Isaac, who grew up in the saintly home of Abraham.

Although Rebecca was a holy, pious woman who detested paganism and idol worship, she was not as deeply affected by them because she had been exposed to them. We can lose our odium of abominable behavior if we are exposed to it.

Our children are exposed to much violence on TV. Regardless of their knowledge that violent behavior is wrong, they are not emotionally turned off by it.

We must be cautious about what we can become accustomed to.

Vayetze: If At First You Don't Succeed, Get Up And Try Again

Jacob reprimanded the shepherds who were sitting idly by the well: "Water the sheep and go graze them." The shepherds explained that they could not move the boulder that covered the well until all the shepherds came (Genesis 29:7-8).

Couldn't Jacob see that there was a huge boulder on the well? Why did he reprimand the shepherds? Perhaps they had tried to move it but couldn't?!

Granted, but why weren't they trying again?

Just because you did not succeed at something is no reason to give up. Try again, and again, and again.

Vayishlach: Safety Away from Home

The Torah says that Jacob was afraid of Esau, even though Hashem had promised him, "I will be with you and protect you." That promise was given when he had just left the home of Isaac and Rebecca, and was under their influence. Now, however, he had been with the wicked Laban for twenty years, and Jacob was worried that he might have been influenced by Laban's sinful ways, and he no longer merited Hashem's protection.

We must always be on the alert that we are subject to the influence of our environment. We may feel secure when we regularly attend the meetings with which we are familiar. But if we go to another location, whether for business or vacation, we may not have the protection to which we have been accustomed.

The enemy is cunning, baffling, and powerful, always looking for a weak spot in our defenses. When we leave a secure environment, we must increase our defenses.

Vayeshev: Run First, Explain Later

The Torah relates that when Potiphar's wife tried to seduce Joseph, he adamantly refused. Then he said to her, "My master has entrusted me with everything he owns, and has not kept anything back from me except you, for you are his wife. How could I commit such a great wrong?" (Genesis 39:8-9).

The Rabbi of Gur commented that the sequence of Joseph's words is important. His first response was to adamantly refuse, categorically and absolutely. Only after his refusal does he explain himself.

When faced with a serious threat to your life, your first action is to run away. After you're safe, you can analyze the situation.

When confronted with something of questionable morality, your first reaction should be to refuse. After that you can reason and explain why. If you try to explain before refusing, you may rationalize why it's OK.

Miketz: If There is a Problem, There Must Be a Solution

The Torah relates that Pharaoh told his dream to his soothsayers, but they could not interpret it for him. Rashi says that Pharaoh did not accept their interpretations. They told him that he would conquer seven countries and lose seven countries; that he would have seven daughters and seven daughters would die. Yet he accepted Joseph's interpretation that there would be seven years of plenty followed by seven years of famine. Why was Joseph's interpretation more acceptable to him?

The soothsayers gave him a prediction of good and bad, but offered no solution of how he could mitigate the bad. Joseph predicted seven years of famine, but gave him a suggestion of how he could survive the famine.

When you're confronted with a problem for which there is a solution, you can see the problem clearly and proceed to deal with it. If there is no evident solution, you go into a defensive denial, and you don't even see the problem at all.

Vayigash: "We Will Not Regret the Past..."

After Joseph revealed himself to his brothers, he said, "Now, do not be angry with yourselves. This was Hashem's design."

These were comforting words, but although it was Hashem's design, they acted as free agents when they sold him into slavery. Hashem could have done it in other ways. There is no way they could escape their guilt. How could they not be angry at themselves?

The answer lies in the word "now." The Talmud says that the word "now" denotes teshuvah. Appropriate repentance for the wrongs one has done, by resolving not to repeat them and by trying to eliminate from one's character those defective traits that made the wrong deeds possible, can lift the heavy burden of the past off one's shoulders and allow one to deal with the "now," with an unencumbered present.

If we do proper teshuvah, there is no need to be angry with ourselves for our mistakes.

Vayechi: One Day at a Time

העבר אין, העתיד עדיין, ההווה כהרף עין, דאגה מנין? - רבנו אברהם אבן עזרא

Jacob assembled his sons to give them his blessing before he died. The exact words of the Torah are, "He blessed them on that day" (Genesis 48:20). What is the significance of the fact that he blessed them on that day?

We may translate the verse to read, "He blessed them with that day." Jacob gave them a blessing that they should live their lives on that particular day in which they find themselves, unencumbered by the burdens of the past and without assuming futile worries about those events which are not subject to change at the present.

This is indeed a blessing. If we would only channel our energies toward doing that which can be productive, instead of squandering them in trying to make yesterday better, or worrying about possible eventualities about which we can do nothing now, how much happier we would be!

Shemos: "Relieve me of the bondage of self!"

The Torah says that Moses left the royal palace and went out unto his brethren and looked upon their burdens. The Mdrash states that he went among the Hebrew slaves and assisted them in their hard labor.

While sympathy is a fine trait, it is not enough. Moses wanted to feel the suffering that his brethren were experiencing.

The Talmud lauds Rebbe Zeira “who never rejoiced in the misfortune of others.” This is hardly the praise of a great person. Enjoying other people’s misfortune is reprehensible. The praise of Rebbe Zeira is that he could not rejoice in his own simchos as long as he knew that there were others living in poverty and distress..

A Chassidic rebbe saw his daughter and her friends being merry. He scolded them, saying, “Don’t you know that the baker’s child is seriously ill? How can you laugh and be merry when you know that others are suffering?

Addiction is a malady of “selfism.” Recovery requires mutuality.

Va'eiro: Pharaoh, the First Addict

Although we all read the Torah, no one understands the saga of the Exodus as someone familiar with addiction.

Pharaoh is warned of serious punishment if he does not allow the Israelites to leave, but he rejects the warning. Then the punishments begin: the Nile turns to blood, and there is a plague of frogs and lice. Pharaoh promises to release the Israelites, but as soon as the plague is stopped, he refuses again. This continues for nine punishments, and each time there is a promise on which he reneges. Only when all first-born die, does Pharaoh surrender.

So familiar. "I promise to stop," followed by continuation of the addictive behavior. His advisers tell him, "The country is being destroyed," but Pharaoh turns a deaf ear. Only a disastrous rock-bottom brings him to his senses.

I watch people in the synagogue who listen to the Torah and who wonder, "Could anyone be so obstinate, to fail to recognize that his behavior results in destruction?"

We know.

Bo: Character Defects Inventory

G-d tells Moses to instruct the Israelites on the mitzvah of redeeming the first-born. Instead of doing so, Moses tells them to always remember the enslavement in Egypt and the Exodus, and only thereafter dictates the mitzvah of redeeming the first-born (Exodus13:1-15).

The Jerusalem Talmud says that the amount specified to redeem the first-born (five shekels) is equivalent to the sum for which the brothers sold Joseph into slavery.

As important as treatment of a disease is, prevention of disease is even more important. We are instructed to redeem the first-born to commemorate the miracle when G-d smote the Egyptian first-born, the rock-bottom phenomenon that brought Pharaoh to his knees.

When G-d told Moses to dictate the mitzvah of redeeming the first-born, with the five shekels representing the sale of Joseph, Moses prefaced this with the episode of exodus. How did the Jews end up in Egypt in the first place? Because of the envy of the brothers that led them to the heinous deed of selling their brother into slavery.

Gross character defects can lead to cruel behavior and disastrous consequences.

Beshalach: Sweet Waters of Being Happy, Joyous, and Free

The Torah relates that the Israelites came to Marah, "...but they could not drink the waters of Marah because they were bitter" (Exodus 15:23,25).

We understand the verse to mean that the water was bitter. The Baal Shem Tov said that "they" refers to the Israelites, not the water. Because the Israelites were depressed, angry and bitter, the water tasted bitter to them.

It is a common phenomenon, that if a person is deeply depressed, his food may taste bitter to him. The Israelites were grumbling about leaving Egypt, and were dissatisfied with the water available to them.

We tend to feel dissatisfied with things, and we attribute our dissatisfaction to the things we have as being defective. The Baal Shem Tov is telling us, "If you feel dissatisfied with anything: your job, your car, even your spouse, don't blame them. You are probably unhappy with yourself, and you are projecting your dissatisfaction onto them."

Yisro: Never Criticize. To Be Helpful is Our Only Aim.

Yisro said to Moses, “What you are doing is not good. Being the sole judge for a population of millions is sure to exhaust you. Therefore, develop various levels of judges to assist you.”

The Midrash says that because Yisro advised Moses to select capable people as judges, he was rewarded by having a portion of Torah named after him.

But Yisro’s statement began with his pointing out to Moses that what he was doing was not good and would exhaust both him and the people. Why does the Midrash not mention this?

It is because anyone can criticize and point out faults, but that does not resolve the problem. Yisro is praised for the positive, constructive advice he gave.

Anyone can criticize. If you cannot suggest a solution, it is best to keep silent.

Mishpotim: Follow G O D (Good Orderly Directions)

When Hashem gave the Jews the Torah, they said, "naaseh v'nishma", we will do and we will listen. The commentaries ask, "How can they do before they hear?"

At an AA meeting, a prominent lawyer, who was celebrating his 40th year of sobriety, said, "When I first joined AA, I was making meetings, but still getting drunk. I asked an old-timer why the program wasn't working for me. He said, 'Fella, I've been watching you. You're trying to understand how this program works. Stop that. Just do as you're told and keep your ears open.'

"I was insulted. I am an attorney. I have to understand how things work. But I kept on getting drunk, so I decided to try his way. Now I'm 40 years sober."

That is naaseh v'nishma. Do as you're told and keep your ears open.

Teruma: Give and Take of Recovery

“Speak to the Children of Israel and let them take for Me…” This verse refers to the donations to build the Sanctuary. But then, shouldn’t it have said “give for Me?”

Giving is an important mitzvah, but one must also know how to take.

A woman who completed her first year in recovery confided to a friend that during the frigid weather, her furnace broke down, and she slept in an unheated apartment for three days. The friend said, “You could have stayed at my house,” but the woman said, “I don’t like to impose on anyone.”

I called the woman and told her that I was disappointed because I had hoped to call on her to help newcomers in recovery. She said, “Please, Doctor, you can call on me any time.” I said, “Sorry, I can’t. If you are unable to accept help, you have no right to give it.”

It is edifying to give, but one must be able to take when necessary.

Tetzave: Give in Order to Keep

This portion of Torah dictates the mitzvah of kindling the menorah. Lighting the menorah in the Sanctuary, lighting the Chanukah candles and lighting the Shabbos candles are all important mitzvos.

Lighting a candle is symbolic. If you light a candle to provide light for yourself, others may benefit from the light, too. It cannot be confined. On the other hand, if you light a candle for others, you, too, can benefit from the light.

This should characterize all our actions. We should not do things that are so restrictive that others cannot benefit from them, and we should realize that when we do something for others, it is not true altruism, because we, too, will benefit from the act.

Ki Sisa: Don't Panic!

This portion of the Torah narrates a tragic event. Within weeks of the greatest spiritual event of history, the Divine revelation at Sinai, the Jews, who had reached a level of angelic holiness, fell precipitously into the idolatry of the Golden Calf. How could so radical a change occur?

Rabbi Chaim Shmuelevitz explains that when Moses failed to return at the designated date, after forty days on Sinai, the people thought he had died. They were in a barren desert, with no evident source of water. Their only trust was that Moses could intercede for them with G-d, and if Moses was dead, they were trapped in the arid desert. They panicked, and in a state of panic, one may lose all ability to reason, and one may commit the most absurd acts.

This is a crucial teaching. Logical thinking can serve us well, but if we panic, we lose the ability to reason logically, and we may do things that are grossly out of line with our spirituality.

We may be subjected to severe stresses, but we must try to avoid panic.

Vayakhel-Pikudei: We will intuitively know...

These portions of the Torah complete the account of the building of the Mishkan.

The work in the construction of the mishkan and its appurtenances required exceptional skills. For examples, the curtains were woven so that one side had cherubim and the other side had animals. This was not embroidered, but rather artistic weaving, done mostly by women.

Where did the Israelites develop such exquisite skills? As slaves, they dealt with bricks and mortar. Ramban says that when they received Hashem’s commandment to build the mishkan, they were so inspired that it brought out latent skills that they were unaware of.

This is a powerful teaching. We may all be underestimating our abilities. We may have talents and skills of which we are unaware. We should know that when we have a mission to do and a assignment to complete, we have the capability to do so. We just need to motivate ourselves.

Vayikra: Continued to Take Personal Inventory...

“The Kohen shall provide him atonement before G-d, and it shall be forgiven him for any of all the things he might do to incur guilt” (5:26)

The Seer of Lublin commented that after a person achieves forgiveness for a particular sin, he is then in a position to discover that there were other things he did to incur guilt.

Improper behavior serves as a barrier to our awareness of the nature of our actions. When we are forgiven for something, the barrier is lifted, and we are then able to see that there were other things we did that require rectification and atonement.

This is why teshuva is an ongoing process. The more we are forgiven, the more sensitive we are to our actions. In other words, teshuva begets teshuva.

Tsav: Insatiable Desire

This portion of the Torah describes the olah offering, which was entirely burned on the mizbe’ach (altar) and none of it was eaten by the kohanim. The Talmud says that the kohanim needed a stringent warning about the olah service because it involved a financial loss. One opinion is that inasmuch as the olah is totally burned and none of it is eaten, the kohanim might be lax in its service.

On the surface, this sounds absurd. The kohanim had more meat than they could possibly consume from the other offerings. Why would they care if one offering was entirely burned?

The Torah is pointing out the irrational nature of the acquisitive drive. A multibillionaire who could not possibly consume even a fraction of his wealth if he lived for a thousand years, still seeks to increase his wealth. Why? Because! It is like the mentality of the alcoholic who sees a sign on a tavern, “Grand Opening! All the booze you want for $1,” and says, “Give me $2 worth.”

The kohanim had no use for the meat of the olah, but if it was not available to them, they might be lax in its ritual.

Shemini: Thy Will, not mine, be done

The Torah relates that the two sons of Aaron died when they introduced “an alien fire” to the altar. Rebbe Yishmael says that they died because they were intoxicated with wine when they did the service.

How does Rebbe Yishmael dare to contradict the Torah that clearly states the reason for their death is that they introduced an alien fire in the sanctuary?

Rebbe Yishmael is saying that the “alien fire” is figurative. The sons of Aaron felt that they could intensify the spiritual experience of the Divine service if their spirits were lifted with wine. But this was a defiance of G-d’s will. One’s spiritual experience is not enhanced artificially by mind-altering chemicals.

Some people mistakenly thought that they attained a spiritual mood with hallucinogens. (Others might imagine that giving in to their addictive desires would make them happy or free them of the obsession for a while so they can serve Hashem). This is an “alien fire,” inimical to G-d. G-d desires that one achieve spirituality by observing His will as expressed in the Torah.

Tazria-Metzora: Admitted to G-d...

Step 5: "Admitted to G-d, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs."

The Torah says that if a person develops a skin lesion which may be tzoraas, he must show it to the kohain.

The Rebbe of Stolin said, “How different the chassidim of today are from those of the previous generation. Today’s chassidim try to show the Rebbe how pious and observant they are. When I used to go to my Rebbe, I would show him all my defects, in the hope that he could help me divest myself of them.”

When we take a garment to be cleaned, we may call the attention of the cleaner to those stains that we think are most resistant, alerting him to be particularly certain that they are removed. How foolish it would be to conceal these stains from the cleaner’s eyes!

We should not deceive ourselves that we have reached perfection. Since we do have imperfections, who if not our spiritual leader can help us improve upon them? But in order for them to do so, we must allow them to see what they are.

Acharei Mos-Kedoshim: Practicing these principles...

The Torah says, "You shall not do as the Egyptians do, from whose land you left, nor as the Canaanites do, to whose land you are entering."

What can this mean? There are already 365 specific prohibitions. What is the Torah referring to?

There are many permissible activities, which a Jew is required to do as part of one's service to Hashem. Eating because one is hungry and sleeping because one is tired are not uniquely human activities. Animals do these things as well. A Jew should direct all one's activities to Hashem. I.e., eating because one needs the nourishment to serve Hashem, sleeping to be adequately rested so that one can serve Hashem. Earning money and even procreation can be directed to the service of Hashem.

This is what the Torah means. The Egyptians and Canaanites did not direct their non-religious activities to God. Jews should be different. King Solomon said, 'Know God in all your ways" (Proverbs 3:6). Bill Wilson echoed this in Step 12, "To practice these principles in all our affairs."

Kedoshim: Rashi vs. Ramban

In 2011, Rabbi Twerski wrote this article for TorahWeb.org and shared it with us for use on the GYE website.

Hashem instructs Moshe to tell the Children of Israel, "Kedoshim tihiyu, you shall be holy," but does not specify what one must do to be holy. Rashi says that this means one must abstain from immoral behavior. Ramban says that it means one should restrain oneself from indulging in permissible pleasures. His famous statement is that a person might be a naval bereshus haTorah, a degenerate person who is technically observant of all 613 mitzvos.

Today we can realize that these two interpretations are one and the same.

The frum community is being swept by an epidemic - yes, a plague of addiction to internet pornography. As the Talmud says, when a plague occurs, it does not discriminate between tzaddikim and reshaim (Bava Kama 60a). This is afflicting men and women of all ages, some of whom appear to be stellar in Torah and Yiddishkeit!

Satan is waging a ferocious battle, and it is claiming victims. Some bachurim are drifting away from Yiddishkeit, publicly and privately. They know that what they are doing is an abomination to Hashem, but because they cannot control themselves, they feel they have lost their connection with Hashem. Their davening and learning suffers, and even Shabbos observance is affected. Wives feel they have been betrayed, and marriages are ruined, with the children being innocent victims.

The effort to stop this plague by outlawing computers and internet is unfortunately futile. Every day, more of our daily actions become dependent on the internet. It is predicted that check writing will become extinct and all transactions will take place on-line.

Filters are the first line of defense, but essentially they are a defense to avoid accidental pop-ups. This is important, because if an indecent picture pops up and one does not immediately turn it off, one can be in trouble. Some people can become "hooked" by a single exposure of just several seconds.

Unfortunately, filters are of limited value for the person who is addicted. One can find ways to circumvent the filters.

I may sound naive, but I believe the only truly effective antidote to this terrible plague is developing a genuine sense of kedushah. A person would not think of taking a siddur or chumash into the bathroom. Yet, when one looks at pornography, one is doing much worse. One is taking one's neshamah, which is part of Hashem Himself, and dragging into the pits of disgusting filth! I believe that if a person had a true feeling of personal kedushah, one would be loath to defile it.

Meticulously observing Shabbos, eating only glatt kosher, pas Yisrael and chalav Yisrael, as important as they may are, is not enough to gain a feeling of kedushah. Ramban said it well. One can observe Shabbos, eat only glatt kosher, pas Yisrael and chalav Yisrael, be an olam hazehnik and devoid of kedushah.

Rashi and Ramban do not disagree. The only way to avoid immorality is to develop a feeling of kedushah, which is not achieved when we are indulgent in permissible gratifications.

Kedoshim tihiyu is a Scriptural mitzvah, and its proper fulfillment is literally life-saving.

There are few therapists that deal with pornography addiction. The website guardureyes.com is a most valuable resource for help, providing chizuk, education and anonymous support groups. Countless people have been helped by this website.

There must be a dedicated effort at developing kedushah, in the home, shuls, yeshivos and girls schools. The study of mussar and Chassidic writings should be a profound emotional rather than an intellectual experience. Parents and teachers must realize that they must model kedushah in their lives, because only this way will our young people adopt it in their lives.

I am not an alarmist, but I must say that we are at a crisis, and we must make heroic efforts to avoid disintegration of our families.

Emor: One Day at a Time

In this parsha we have the mitzvah of sefiras haomer. Hashem instructed the Jews to count forty-nine days, and this would then lead to the Revelation and giving of the Torah at Sinai.

There were many miracles at the exodus, but the greatest miracle of all was that a people that had been enslaved, degraded, and dehumanized were able, within a few short weeks, to be transformed to the highest level of spirituality, to declare “We will do and we will listen.” How could so radical a change be achieved?

The answer is the mitzvah of sefira, to count one day at a time, and on each day, rectify a particular spiritual shortcoming. The Torah is teaching us that no challenge is so great that it cannot be successfully overcome if only it is broken down to manageable morsels.

The yetzer hara (evil instinct) tells a person, “There is no way you can be a tzaddik. The Torah's demands cannot possibly all be met.” Our response should be, “I only have to do that today, and that is manageable. I’ll deal with tomorrow’s challenges tomorrow. One day at a time.”

Bechukosai: Our Maker's Manual

The Torah tells us the rich rewards we will receive if we observe the Torah, and this is followed by a stern warning of the harsh consequences that will result if we deviate from the Torah.

In Ethics of the Fathers, we are instructed to observe the Torah, “not as servants who serve their master for reward, but as servants who serve their master without anticipation of reward.” How, then, are we to understand the verses cited above?

When you buy a new automobile, you receive a “user’s manual” which instructs you how to care for your car so that it functions optimally and for a long duration. If one follows the instructions, one is not being “rewarded”. One is simply getting the best use of the car.

Hashem created man, and gave man the Torah as the “user’s manual.” If we neglect to follow the instructions, we will not be “punished,” but we will simply suffer the consequences of not having cared for the organism according to the Manufacture’s instructions.

Bamidbar: Every Jew is a shiny diamond

In instructing Moses to take the census of the Israelites, the literal translation of what Hashem said is, “Elevate the heads of the children of Israel.”

The parsha Bamidbar precedes Shavuos, when we commemorate the giving of the Torah at Sinai. Prior to that great event, Hashem said to the Israelites, ‘You shall be unto Me a nation of priests, a sacred nation. You shall be a treasure to me from amongst all peoples.”

Although a person should be humble, one should never lose one’s sense of dignity and significance. There is a natural resistance to damaging something that is beautiful and precious. If we are aware of our own great value, we will never do anything that detracts from our greatness.

In taking a census, counting each individual, Moses was instructed to elevate each person. Each individual is a precious diamond.

Nasso: Character Overhaul

“They should confess the sin that they did” (5:7)

The words “that they did” are superfluous.

The Torah is saying that it is not enough to confess the sin. Sin does not occur in a vacuum. Sin occurs in a lifestyle that made the sin possible.

A recovering alcoholic on his 35th anniversary of sobriety said, “The man I once was, drank, and the man I once was will drink again. If I go back to the lifestyle I led before I began drinking, I will drink again.”

When a person confesses a sin, one must also consider “that they did,” i.e., what kind of things did they do that made the sin possible. True teshuva consists of a character change that renders repeating the sin impossible.

Beha'aloscha: Man's Search for Meaning

The Torah relates that the people (ha’am) were as if in mourning (Numbers 11:1), but does not say what they were displeased about.

The commentaries say that these people (ha’am) were the Egyptians that joined the Israelites in the exodus. They were trouble makers all along. They were the ones that made the Golden Calf, challenged G-d to produce water in the desert, and advocated return to Egypt. Now they were just griping for no apparent reason. They were unhappy with the Torah, and had no ultimate goal in life.

If a person does not know what one is living for, one will be chronically discontented, and will look for things to blame for the discontent. Such people are likely to turn to any of the addictions, which can give them momentary “highs,” which will only add to their long-term misery.

Shelach: Believe that you CAN

There were two episodes of spies sent to Canaan. Those sent by Moses resulted in a disaster from which we still suffer thousands of years later, whereas those sent by Joshua resulted in triumph. Why the radical difference?

Hashem had promised the Israelites the conquest of Canaan, but they lacked the trust and faith in Hashem. They sent the spies to see whether they were indeed capable of conquering the land. Joshua’s spies had no such doubt. They were only interested in what is the best method to achieve this.

This is a message for all time. If you question whether or not you can achieve your goal, there will be many doubts, and you may decide that you cannot do it. If you are determined that you will do it, but are just looking for the most efficient way, you will succeed.

In addiction, we cannot afford to think whether or not we can recover. There is no option. If we are determined that we will recover, and we are looking for the best way to do so, we will succeed.

Korach: Memento

Korah challenged the right of Aaron to the kehuna (priesthood). Arguing that everyone has a right to kehuna, he performed the incense service, which may be done only by a kohane. He and his followers died, thus proving the authority of Moses that Aaron was the kohane, and that non-kohanim are not permitted to perform the services assigned to the kohane.

Hashem then orders that the incense utensils should be flattened and made into a covering to the altar, to serve as a reminder and warning to non-kohanim that they are not permitted to do the priestly service lest they suffer the grave consequences that befell Korah. In other words, the Jews should learn from the history of the past to avoid repeating behavior that has ruinous consequences.

One of the classic features of addiction is the addict’s refusal to learn from the past. For years, every time he used alcohol or a drug, he suffered serious consequences. Yet, the addiction drives him to think, “this time will be different.” It is said that insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. How true!

Chukas: Humbly Asked Him to Remove Our Defects of Character

In this portion, the Israelites complain that they have no water. Hashem tells Moses to order a rock to give water. Since in a previous episode, Hashem told Moses to hit the rock with his rod, Moses did so again. Hashem told Moses that he forfeited the right to enter Canaan with his people.

Rambam says that Moses’ sin was not the hitting of the rock, but rather that he lost control of his anger and called the Israelites “rebellious.” Losing control over one’s anger is a serious violation, which the Talmud equates with idolatry.

We cannot help feeling anger when provoked, but we should at all times avoid going into rage. The Talmud says that when a person is enraged, their judgment is distorted, and “all the forces of hell dominate him.”

In a letter to his son, Ramban counsels him to avoid rage, because controlling one’s anger leads to development of fine character traits.

But what do you do if you fail to control it time and again? You ask Hashem to remove this defect of character and thus "make room" for the fine traits to enter.

Balak: The enemy within.

The evil sorcerer, Bilam, tried his utmost to destroy Israel with curses, but Hashem foiled his plans, and so twisted his tongue that his words came out as blessings rather than curses.

Seeing that his efforts were fruitless, Bilam resorted to another maneuver. Knowing that Hashem despises debauchery, he arranged that the Midianites seduce the Israelites to commit harlotry. This indeed angered Hashem, and twenty-four thousand Israelites died in a plague.

Bilam was a bitter enemy, but he could not harm Israel. However, when the Israelites surrendered to licentiousness, they became their own worst enemy.

We can defend ourselves against external enemies, but we are vulnerable to harm ourselves by inappropriate sexual behavior.

Pinchas: Fellowship of the Spirit

Moses asked Hashem to appoint a leader to succeed him, “A person who can understand and relate to each individual” (Numbers 27:16, Rashi). Hashem responded, “Take to yourself Joshua, a man in whom there is spirit.” How does Hashem’s response satisfy Moses’ request?

The human being is a composite creature, comprised of a body and a spirit. The spirit is the force that directs a person away from self-gratification, to be devoted to a higher goal.

A person who is preoccupied with satisfying his own desires cannot empathize fully with others. The ability to relate to and understand each individual requires extraordinary empathy. Such empathy is possible only in a person who has subordinated one’s self-gratifying drives to the spirit.

In the Sefard siddur, the morning service reads, “The superiority of man over animal is naught, save for the pure soul.” We can pride ourselves in being dignified human beings only if our behavior is under the direction of the spirit rather than the animal body.

Mattos: Program of Rigorous Honesty

The Torah says that if a person makes a vow, “He shall not desecrate his word - according to whatever comes out of his mouth he shall do.”

The Torah places great emphasis on truthfulness. Breaking one’s word is a “desecration” of speech.

Perhaps, animals do communicate, but they do not have the sophisticated speech that man has. Speech is a sacred gift, and lying is a desecration.

Addiction and lying are inseparable. The addict loses all sense of trust, and until one regains trust, there can be no meaningful relationships.

An absolute dedication to truthfulness is a cornerstone of recovery.

Dvarim: The Closer We Are, the Less We Need

"G-d, your G-d was with you, you lacked for nothing" (Deuteronomy 2:7)

The wise King Solomon said, "One who desires money is never satisfied with what he has" (Ecclesiastes 5:9). So it is with all physical pursuits. They are insatiable.

An alcoholic saw a sign on a tavern, "Grand opening! All the booze you want for $1." He promptly ordered $2 worth.

Moses is telling us that the closer we are to G-d, the less are our wants and needs. If we are distant from G-d, our wants and needs may be insatiable.

Va'eschanan: Just For Today

“And you, who are cleaving to G-d, you are alive this day” (Deuteronomy 4:4).

Chasam Sofer says that a person’s evil instinct tells him that he can never meet all the Torah’s demands all his life. Inasmuch as that is futile, one may as well give up the battle now. Moses tells us, “Don’t undertake an entire lifetime challenge. Just do it this day. Tomorrow you can deal with tomorrow’s challenge.”

If you tell an alcoholic that he can never drink again, that is too formidable a challenge. Taking it “one day at time” is doable.

A friend who was sober 43 years recorded every day of his sobriety. The day before he died he entered 16,472 days in his diary.

Eikev: Which Way are You Going?

“This shall be the reward because you hearken to these ordinances” (Deuteronomy7:12)

The Hebrew word for “because” in this verse is eikev, which also means “a footstep”. Rabbi Moshe Leib of Sasov said that a person should consider each step one takes.

Life is a mission, an assignment, which carries with it responsibility. Each step one takes is either in the direction of fulfilling one’s assignment, hence it is a mitzvah, or in the direction of self-indulgence, hence it is a dereliction. There is no neutrality.

All one’s steps should be toward fulfilling one’s mission in life.

Re'eh: Weighing Loss vs. Gain

You shall tithe all the produce of your fields (Deuteronomy14:22).

The Hebrew text lends itself to an interpretation that if you tithe your produce, G-d will bless you. You will not lose by tithing.

The Chafetz Chaim told of a peasant who brought his bundles of grain to the market. For each bundle he delivered to the merchant, the latter put a coin into a plate. By counting the coins, they would know the number of bundles he sold.

When the merchant was not looking, the peasant took a few coins from the plate. He didn’t realize that by stealing a few small coins, he was losing the much larger payment for a few bundles of grain.

Sometimes we do things for a temporary gain, and do not realize that the loss of our act will far outweigh the temporary gain.

Shoftim: Don't Let Your Desires Bribe You!

"You shall not accept a bribe, for the bribe will blind the eyes of the wise " (Deuteronomy16:19)

We are all judges, making many judgments every day. Every desire that one has is a bribe, affecting one's judgment to favor the desired act.

A recovering alcoholic said, "In all my years of drinking, I never took a drink unless I decided it was the right thing to do at the time."

Our capacity to rationalize is humongous. We are ingenious at justifying whatever it is we wish to do. The bribe of the desire renders us blind to the consequences of our act. We become the victims of our self-deception.

Ki Setzei: When in Love, Think Twice.

"You shall not plow with an ox and a donkey together." (Deuteronomy 22:10).

Chinuch explains that the two animals pull at different rates, and one or both will suffer. Chinuch explains that this applies to human relationships as well. Two people with conflicting personality types should not become partners in a business nor in a marriage.

A farmer who is eager to get his plowing done may overlook the fact that pairing an ox with a mule will result in harm to the animals, and the loss will ultimately be greater than the gain.

We are vulnerable to infatuation, and this may result in failure to see incompatibilities.

Ki Savo: Serve Hashem - Live with Joy

The dire consequences that will befall you will be “Because you did not serve Hashem with joy” (Deuteronomy 28:47)

If we are not feeling joy in performance of the mitzvos, we must not be doing them right. The knowledge that we are doing what God wants us to do, thereby fulfilling the purpose of our existence is reason for euphoria.

We can convert everything to a mitzvah. We must have energy and strength to do mitzvos, and if eating and sleeping provide us optimum health so that we can do the mitzvos, these actions, too, are accessories to mitzvos. If we dedicate our lives to the will of Hashem, we can experience joy in everything we do.

Nitzovim: All We Have is Today

“You are standing here today, before Hashem…the covenant which Hashem seal with you today…but with whoever is here today, and with whoever is not here with us today” (Deuteronomy 29:1-14)

The repetition of “today” is unnecessary for the context of Moses’ message. It adds nothing to the meaning of the message. It can only be that Moses is stressing that fulfillment of the covenant with Hashem can be only if one focuses on just today, one day at a time.

True commitment to a Torah life is a formidable challenge. It is best approached by taking it one day at a time.

Vayelech: No Spiritual Status Quo

Moses said, “I am 120 years old this day. I can no more go out and come, and Hashem has said to me, ‘You shall not cross the Jordan.’”

All his life, Moses aspired to spiritual growth, and reached heights unachieved by any other human being. No further growth was possible, unless he could enter the Holy Land and participate in its unique mitzvos. But since this was denied him, being at a point where he could not grow any more spiritually, life became meaningless, and he willingly accepted death.

Spiritual growth is what gives meaning to life. We should never resign ourselves to a spiritual status quo. There is always more we can do.

Haazinu: Don't Justify - Ask Someone Else What They Think about It

Moses reprimands the Israelites as "a perverse and twisted generation" (Deuteronomy 32:5).

When we allow our desires to influence our thinking, we can be "perverse and twisted." One recovering alcoholic said, "In all my years of drinking, I never once took a drink unless I decided that it was the proper thing to do at the time."

Moses said that the only way to avoid becoming victims of our distorted thinking is, "Ask your elders and they will tell you" (ibid. 32:7). Accept guidance from wise, experienced, and competent people. Solomon said, "All of a person's ways are right in his own eyes" (Proverbs 16:2). We must recognize our vulnerability to self-deception.

Our desires twist our thinking. Our ability to rationalize is immense. We are capable of justifying the most outlandish behavior.

Zos Habrocho: Pray for Those Who Wronged You

In this parsha, Moses gives his final blessing to the bnei Yisrael. The Ohr Hachaim points out that Moses had suffered for forty years from his cantankerous people. Moses had only one wish, to be allowed into the Holy Land, but he was denied this fervent wish because of the Israelites' sins (Deuteronomy 4:21). One would think that before his death, he would express his anger to them.

But what happened was just the reverse. Virtually with his last breath, he blessed them wholeheartedly. Moses did not carry any resentments, in spite of his terrible disappointment that his prayers were denied, and he blessed the people who were responsible for his not entering the Holy Land.

We say Moshe Rabeinu, Moses is our teacher. On the last day of his life, he taught us not to harbor resentments, and to bless those who have offended us.

Shovavim

"Shovavim" - which stands for the first letters of the Parshios Shemos through Mishpatim - is a time of calling for Teshuva, as the Pasuk says "Shuvu Banim Shovavim - Return, wayward children!" This period covers the servitude of Mitzrayim and the subsequent redemption. Below, we bring a nice quote from Rabbi Twerski's daily tips, which can help us understand why this period is so "mesugal" and important for Teshuvah:

"I am your God Who has delivered you ,"from the land of Egypt" (Shema, Numbers 15:41).

This verse is recited twice daily, because the deliverance from Egypt was more than a historic event. It was a deliverance from a state of enslavement, and this deliverance should repeat itself daily in everyone's life.

No enslavement and no tyranny are as ruthless and as demanding as slavery to physical desires and passions. Someone who is unable to resist a craving, and who must, like a brute beast, do whatever the body demands, is more profoundly enslaved than someone subject to a human tyrant. Addicted people are an extreme example of those who have become slaves to their bodies.

Dignity comes from freedom, in the capacity to make free choices, and hence, in our ability to refuse to submit to physical desires when our judgment indicates that doing so is wrong. Freedom from domination by the body is the first step toward spiritual growth.

The Season of Teshuvah: Before and After

In our tefillah, we say, “Remove Satan (the yetzer hara) from before us and after us.” The Talmud says that “A person’s yetzer hara (evil inclination) renews itself each day and seeks to destroy one” (Kedushin 30a). The yetzer hara has only one goal: to crush and destroy a person. It will resort to any technique to do so. It may begin by enticing a person to engage in self-destructive behavior. If it succeeds in doing so, it will then say, “Look how degenerate you are. Look at the terrible things you have done.” That is why we ask Hashem’s help to remove the yetzer hara from before us, not to tempt us to sin, and after us, not to depress us because we yielded to his wile.

In the season of teshuvah we must remember the words of Rambam, that whereas a person who sins is despised by Hashem, once he changes his ways and does sincere teshuvah, he is dear and beloved to Hashem. The yetzer hara attacks this vigorously and wants a person’s past to haunt him the rest of his life. We should be happy that we have the mitzvah of teshuvah and not allow the yetzer hara to crush and depress us.

It is a mistake to be preoccupied by the past. When King David said, “My sin is before me always” (Psalm 51:8), he did not mean that he ruminated on his sin. The Rebbe of Kotzk said, “A sin is like mud. Whichever way you handle it, you will get soiled.” With teshuvah, the sin is erased “like a fog.” When a fog clears, no trace of it remains. What King David meant was, “Inasmuch as I sinned, I must remember that I have this vulnerability, and I must keep my guard up.”

Mitzvos should be performed with simcha, and the mitzvah of teshuvah is no exception.

May Hashem inscribe you for a healthy and joyous year.

A Chanukah Tikkun

Rabbi Twerski sent us an email:

Now that it is Chanuka, there is a tikkun, that after lighting the Chanuka candles (or oil), one should look at the lights and meditate, "hanerot hallalu kodesh heim - these lights are holy." The sefarim say that they represent the original light of creation. Concentrating on the kedusha of the Chanuka lights helps prevent misuse of one's eyes. Some people meditate on the Chanuka lights for the full half hour that is the minimum time the candles should burn.

Z'man Cheiruseinu: An Independence Day Celebration?

I learned much from working with an addicted population.

I know how you celebrate an Independence Day. Parades, picnics, hot-dogs, patriotic speeches, and fireworks-that's it. Whoever heard of an Independence Day that lasts a week, and for which you must prepare weeks in advance, cleaning the house and sterilizing the kitchen as if it were an operating room? That's a bit of an overkill for an Independence Day, isn't it?

Oh, well. Jews like to do things differently. But then, every Friday night we say in Kiddush that Shabbat is in commemoration of our deliverance from Egypt. We don't invoke July 4 every week!

But we're not finished yet. Tefillin and tzitzis are in commemoration of our deliverance from Egypt. Now it's a daily thing! In fact, many other mitzvos are in commemoration of our deliverance from Egypt. We must concede that as an Independence Day celebration, this is a bit much.

I came to the realization of what zman cheiruseinu is all about when a young man who was recovering from years of heavy drug addiction attended his father's seder. When his father began reciting the Haggadah, "Avadim hayinu," we were slaves to Pharaoh, the son interrupted him. "Abba," he said, "can you truthfully say that you yourself was a slave? I can tell you what it means to be a slave. All those years that I was on drugs, I was enslaved by drugs. I had no freedom. I did things that I never thought I was capable of doing, but I had no choice. The drugs demanded it, and I had to do it. Today I am a free person."

When the young man related this to me, Passover suddenly took on an entirely new meaning. Yes, we can be slaves to a tyrannical ruler. But we can also be slaves to drugs, to alcohol, to cigarettes, to food, to lust or to gambling. Any time we lose control of our behavior, we are slaves. If we are not in control of our anger, we are slaves to anger. People who cannot detach themselves from the office are slaves to it. A person can be a slave to making money or to pursuing acclaim. These are enslavements that are no less ruthless than being slaves to Pharaoh. We may surrender our precious freedom and allow our drives and impulses to exercise a tyrannical rule over us.

It is now clear what zman cheiruseinu is all about. It is much more than political independence, and we can see why we are reminded of this not only during the week of Passover, but every Friday night and even multiple times during each day. We are at all times at risk of surrendering our precious independence and allowing ourselves to become enslaved.

Make no mistake. A slave cannot exercise proper judgment and has no free choice. A person who wants to live and knows that cigarettes can kill him but is unable to stop smoking is a slave, and this is true of many behaviors which we may not consider addictions. Our thinking becomes distorted, as I explained in Addictive Thinking, and we rationalize our self-destructive behavior.

The young man's comment to his father's reading of the Haggadah stimulate me to write a commentary, the Haggadah "From Bondage to Freedom", in which I pointed out that far from bring a narrative of an historical event, the Haggadah is a text of identifying our addictive behaviors and a guideline on how to break loose from these enslavements and be free people.

Animals are not free. They can not make a choice between right and wrong. They must do what their body desires. The uniqueness of man is that we are free to choose how to act. "Give me liberty or give me death" is more than a patriotic declaration. To the degree that we lose our freedom to choose, to that degree an element of our humanity dies.

The teaching of Passover is to cherish freedom and not to submit to tyranny, even to the tyranny within ourselves.