Rav Elyah Lopian

Nusach 1

One of the greatest Ba’alei Mussar was Rabbi Eliyahu Lopian, who taught Torah for over seventy years in Europe and Eretz Yisrael.

One of his students was invited to a wedding where the laws of modesty would not be observed. He asked Rabbi Lopian if he could go to the wedding. When asked what he would do about the lack of tzniut, the student told him that the sight of immodest women does not affect him.

Without another word, Rabbi Lopian reached for a book of Tehillim and started praying. “Rabbi, what are you doing?” asked the student. His teacher responded, “I am 86 years old and blind in one eye, and I am still affected by human nature. You are young and in the prime of life. If you are not affected by immodest sights, then perhaps you’re sick. I am saying Tehillim for your recovery!”

Nusach 2

"Once, a talmid asked Rav Lopian permission to attend a cousin’s wedding in a different city. Upon hearing which city it was, Rav Lopian was reluctant to grant permission. “That city is well known for the improper mode of dress of its citizens,” he said. “It is no place for a ben Torah.”

The talmid respectfully argued. “Rebbi, I work very hard on guarding my eyes and thoughts. I will not be affected by that place.”

Rav Lopian responded, “In that case you should see a doctor, because obviously you’re not well. I am already past 90 and blind in one eye, and I know that such sights would affect me. And you are so sure that they will not affect you?”

Nusach 3

A bochur approached the Lev Eliyahu - Rav Elya Lopian zatzal to request permission to leave yeshiva to attend a wedding in a location not known for being a paragon of tznius. He told him not to go. The bochur responded, "Rebbi, I won't have hirhurim", to which Rav Elya responded, "Give me your name and your mother's name." "Why?", asked the boy. The Lev Eliyahu responded, "I am 85 years old, half blind and half deaf, and when a lady walks past the door of the bais medrash, I have hirhurim. You a teenage bochur, in the prime of life with working organs, don't?! You must be ill! I need to daven for your health!"

Lessons

• #HashemHelpMe: Putting this into perspective, years before, the aged Sfas Emes stood up for a young Elya Lopian despite his youth, claiming that he sensed Elya had experienced gilui Eliyahu HaNavi. Obviously he was a great tzaddik already back then. And this is the man testifying that at an advanced age and with compromised faculties, he still experienced challenges. The message. Be aware experiencing challenges and triggers is normal and to be expected. You can be a great tzaddik and still have tough moments. Our actions are what count. Are we protecting ourselves as best as we can? Do our devices have filters? Do we avoid triggering locations whenever possible? Do we have chaverim that we can reach out to for some chizuk? Or do we access the forums or a chizuk sefer from time to time? Do we prepare a plan when we know we will be presented with challenges - example - business trip, airport, hotel? (Similar to preparing for Shabbos or kashrus concerns in those situations.) Is all the above being done in a panicky way, or do we make it a normal part of our lives - second nature? We don't need to get tzebrochen seeing that this is a lifetime challenge. We don't get down about lashon hara being a lifetime challenge. We just deal with it. So lets be men, and with syatta d'shmaya do what we know we need to do.
• #HashemHelpMe: I always tell over the story of R' Elya Lapian, which I also heard from one of his great grandchildren. Look at the gadlus here, we're talking about a tremendous tzadik. The lesson is you're not a bad person because you have an urge. A guy can be clean for a hundred days and he has an urge and he looks at it, oh, "I'm a loser", "I'm terrible", "how can this happen even after 100 days?" I tell him "Buddy, when you're 85 years old and half blind you'll also have urges. Hashem doesn't want us to act on our urges, but the urges are going to be there as long as you're a healthy person".

• In Zos Brisi, he expounds on the story as follows: Rav Lopian’s insight is actually expressed in Sefer HaChinuch: If someone finds that he does not have a strong lust for immorality, he should not tell himself, “Since this is the way I am, why should I refrain from gazing at women? After all, I know that this will not excite my yetzer hara!” Many have said this and have stumbled. This is alluded to in the words of Chazal, who state that at first the yetzer hara seems very weak, but with time it gains more and more strength.
• #E-Tek: The greater the person's madreiga, the MORE bothers him, not less! The sound of women's shoes! It is said that one of the Mirrer Roshei Yeshiva ZTZ"L of Brooklyn was heard muttering to himself after Rosh Hashona davening, "V'lo Sosuru etc.", because of the ladies waiting across the street, average age being 60. A real tahor I was privileged to have as a roomate confided in me one night that he was having bad thoughts because he saw some shoes in a shopping window. (I know he meant this, for other reasons.) Unfortunately, my mind has been desensitized by what I looked at, but whenever I work on myself, the sensitivity comes back, and EVERYTHING about a girl bothers me.

More from Rav Lopian

• "The first aspect of avodas Hashem in which one must invest effort in his youth is kedushah, for this is the foundation of the entire Torah. The degree to which one advances in his level of kedushah is in proportion to the degree that he avoids satisfying his physical passions."
• Rav Lopian would allude to the importance of shemiras habris in his shmuessen throughout the year. Once a year, during the week of Parashas Vayishlach, he would deliver a shmuess on this topic (from Introduction to Sefer Lev Eliyahu, p. 33).

Also see

• Reb Itche der Masmid