Bookending Difficult Events

Bookending is a 12-step recovery tool.

• One basic strategy of bookending as a 12-step recovery tool involves making contact with a fellow recoverer both before and after a possibly triggering event. It might mean, for instance, calling or texting someone before and after (see the bookend?) a potentially risky situation, to insure that no relapse is likely to occur.

• “BOOKENDING” DIFFICULT EVENTS: Sometimes sex addicts are triggered unexpectedly. Other times, triggers can be anticipated long in advance. For instance, attending a social engagement where people will be looking their best and drinking alcohol is an obvious potential trigger for most sex addicts. Knowing this, addicts can arrange to “bookend” such an event with phone calls to their therapist, twelve-step sponsor, accountability partner, and/or another supportive person in recovery. During the “before” call, an addict commits to sobriety, and he or she may even discuss plans to avoid relapse in this particular situation. The “after” call provides an opportunity to discuss what happened, what feelings came up, and what the addict might need to do differently next time. (The practice of bookending also helps with the “lonely” portion of HALT.)

Summary by @Howard

Bookending difficult events

One way of using support for accountability, increased awareness and focus when trying to manage challenging situations is to bookend such events with calls and reports to other supportive individuals; either support group members or professionals.

How it works

You are going to attend an event  where there are likely to be some triggers (like attractively dressed women in party mood)  and variables associated with temptation (like lots of alcohol).In this circumstance by bookend this event with communication (calls or texts) with a reliable support person. The first call would take place prior to the event, and would explore your concerns, different strategies and a decision as to what  specific tactics you will use to handle the situation.

Following the event, you would contact the same person and tell them what actually happened at the event, explaining the challenges, whether they matched your expectations (and fears) and how well you were able to cope.

The advantages of this approach include…

Greater accountability. Having to share these strategies and events with a supportive person makes it more likely that your report and perception will be more focused, as well as timely.

Having to focus on the reality of what happened in real time. There’s the chance, if not the likelihood, if this shared analysis was delayed a day or more, it would likely be distorted, or not seem as real.

As we have seen, realistic analysis of temptations, strategies and performance are critical to effectively controlling your habits.

From GYE Members

• This strategy is also part of the The "Ushmartem Es Mishmarti" Method