Difference between revisions of "Cost Benefit Analysis (CBA)"
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Again, there are no right or wrong answers. And if you decide that you want to continue doing what you’re doing, there’s no one that could tell you differently. It’s not a mussar kind of thing, it’s something done between you and yourself to come to more clarity about what you really want. | Again, there are no right or wrong answers. And if you decide that you want to continue doing what you’re doing, there’s no one that could tell you differently. It’s not a mussar kind of thing, it’s something done between you and yourself to come to more clarity about what you really want. | ||
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+ | == Research == | ||
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+ | * Decision making was conceptualized by Janis and Mann (1977) as a decisional “balance sheet” of comparative potential gains and losses. Two decisional balance measures, the '''pros''' and the '''cons''', have become critical constructs in the Transtheoretical model. The pros and cons combine to form a decisional “balance sheet” of comparative potential gains and losses. The balance between the pros and cons varies depending on which stage of change the individual is in.<ref>https://web.uri.edu/cprc/transtheoretical-model-decisional-balance/. Janis, I. L., & Mann, L. (1977). Decision Making. London: Cassel and Collier Macmillan. [https://www.researchgate.net/figure/The-decision-balance-sheet-Janis-and-Mann-1977_fig1_266326808 Image].</ref> | ||
+ | * Many people who have successfully changed their alcohol or other drug use report that this process was very important for them when they were considering change. It is a process that we often use in thinking about changing jobs, buying cars or cell phones, and so forth. | ||
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== Notes == | == Notes == | ||
Revision as of 12:46, 16 November 2020
One of the ways to increase motivation is to do something called a “Decisional Balance”. SMART Recovery prefers the term "Cost Benefit Analysis".
Here is what it looks like:
Pros of watching | Cons of watching |
---|---|
Pros of change | Cons of no change: |
Or:
Pros | Cons | |
---|---|---|
Continuing with Porn & Masturbation | ||
Stop Porn & Masturbation |
This seems like a simple tool, but it’s actually incredibly powerful, and it could help you in many ways. So it’s worth investing a little bit of time in doing this exercise.
When you’ve finished these boxes, go through item by item and write down “short term”, or “long term” near each item. That’s it.
Hopefully, this exercise will give you clarity of what you really want to do for yourself, the power of this exercise, is that it puts everything on one piece of paper.
Some days when you’re inspired, you’re thinking how great it can be to change. On days that you’re not inspired you think about why you want to continue and you forget about why you want to stop.
Over here, when you’re putting them side by side on one piece of paper, it sort of makes things click. You start realizing, hey one second - hey this is everything. These are all my feelings about the topic on this piece of paper, now what makes sense for me to do?
Am I ready to let go of the pros that are listed in the first box, all those great benefits of continuing what I’m doing? Am I ready to let go? Is it worth it for me?
Again, there are no right or wrong answers. And if you decide that you want to continue doing what you’re doing, there’s no one that could tell you differently. It’s not a mussar kind of thing, it’s something done between you and yourself to come to more clarity about what you really want.
Research
- Decision making was conceptualized by Janis and Mann (1977) as a decisional “balance sheet” of comparative potential gains and losses. Two decisional balance measures, the pros and the cons, have become critical constructs in the Transtheoretical model. The pros and cons combine to form a decisional “balance sheet” of comparative potential gains and losses. The balance between the pros and cons varies depending on which stage of change the individual is in.[1]
- Many people who have successfully changed their alcohol or other drug use report that this process was very important for them when they were considering change. It is a process that we often use in thinking about changing jobs, buying cars or cell phones, and so forth.
Notes
- The goal of the short term vs long term step is to deal with The Problem of Instant Gratification (PIG).
- In SMART Recovery this worksheet is followed by a discussion of short term and long term benefits, and how this sheet shows that most benefits of the addictive behavior are short term.
Further Reading
- Decisional Balance on Wikipedia
- The CBA worksheet - 4 Questions on SMART Recovery. A list of questions to help you fill out each of the 4 boxes.
Torah Sources
- אבות פרק ב משנה א: והוי מחשב הפסד מצוה כנגד שכרה ושכר עבירה כנגד הפסדה.[2]
- כלה רבתי פרק ד: אם חפץ אתה להרחיק מן החטא הוי מחשב לאין סופו, דכתיב החכם עיניו בראשו, ועיני כסיל בקצה ארץ, מסתכל למה שיש לפניו ומשכח בסופו. [3]
- אבות פרק ב: איזוהי דרך ישרה שידבק בה האדם... רבי שמעון אומר הרואה את הנולד.
- מסילות ישרים פרק ט"ו: הנה הדרך המובחר לקנות את הפרישות הוא שיסתכל האדם בגריעות תענוגות העולם הזה ופחיתותם מצד עצמם, והרעות הגדולות שקרובות להולד מהם. כי הנה מה שמטה הטבע אל התענוגות האלה עד שיצטרך כל כך כח ותחבולות להפרישו מהם הוא פיתוי העינים הנפתים במראה הדברים אשר הוא טוב וערב לכאורה, הוא הפיתוי שגרם לחטא הראשון שיעשה, כעדות הכתוב (בראשית ג, ו): ותרא האשה כי טוב העץ למאכל וכי תאוה הוא לעינים וגו' ותקח מפריו ותאכל, אבל כשיתברר אל האדם היות הטוב ההוא כוזב לגמרי מדומה ובלי שום התמדה נכונה, והרע בו אמיתי או קרוב להולד ממנו באמת, ודאי שימאס בו ולא ירצהו כלל, על כן זהו כל הלימוד שצריך שילמד האדם את שכלו להכיר בחולשת התענוגים האלה ושקרם עד שמאליו ימאס בם ולא יקשה בעיניו לשלחם מאתו. הנה תענוג המאכל הוא היותר מוחש ומורגש, היש דבר אבד ונפסד יותר ממנו? שהרי אין שיעורו אלא כשיעור בית הבליעה, כיון שיצא ממנה וירד בבני המעים אבד זכרו ונשכח כאילו לא היה, וכך יהיה שבע אם אכל ברבורים אבוסים כמו אם אכל לחם קיבר אם אכל ממנו כדי שביעה, כל שכן אם ישים אל לבו החלאים הרבים שיכולים לבוא עליו מחמת אכילתו, ולפחות הכובד שמגיעהו אחר האכילה והעשנים המהבילים את שכלו. הנה על כל אלה ודאי שלא יחפוץ אדם בדבר הזה, כיון שטובתו אינה טובה ורעתו רעה. ושאר כל ההנאות שבעולם כמו כן, אילו יתבונן בהם יראה שאפילו הטוב המדומה שבהם איננו אלא לזמן מועט והרע שיכול להולד מהם קשה וארוך עד שלא יאות לשום בעל שכל לשום עצמו בסכנות הרעות על רוח הטוב המועט ההוא. וזה פשוט. וכשירגיל את עצמו ויתמיד בעיונו על האמת הזאת, הנה מעט מעט יצא חפשי ממאסר הסכלות אשר החומר אוסר אותו בו ולא יתפתה מפתויי ההנאות הכוזבות כלל, אז ימאס בהן וידע שאין לו לקחת מן העולם אלא ההכרחי, וכמו שכתבתי.
From GYE Members
- You wrote a very good reason, that it makes you feel unhappy in addition to knowing its assur. Unfortunately, as we know knowing its assur sometimes isn't enough. What you should do is sit down with a pen and a paper and list all the reasons why you want to break this habit, why it makes you unhappy. Then in another column write all the reasons why you want to continue. Weigh the pros and cons. What you will find is that technically you are sacrificing greater happiness and longlasting pleasure for short term small bursts of enjoyment with long aftereffects of unhappiness. Surely you will feel on an intellectual AND emotional levels that technically the pleasure of sin isn't all you made it out to be in the past. With this nice neat already made decision in your pocket, when you are confronted with desire it will seem easier to say no because it's not anymore a fight of deliciousness vs. religion, enjoyment vs. what you know is wrong, but rather a short few minute animalistic pleasure vs. much longer term pleasure. Now, that's a pretty simple decision. Of course it will be hard but this will definitely make it easier. (It changed everything for me). #Grant400[4]
- Just to build upon what grant400 was saying, the mishna in Avos says: וֶהֱוֵי מְחַשֵּׁב הֶפְסֵד מִצְוָה כְּנֶגֶד שְׂכָרָהּ, וּשְׂכַר עֲבֵרָה כְנֶגֶד הֶפְסֵדָהּ. I think that this exercise is most effective when one actually considers that maybe he should choose to continue with the aveira. If it is forgone conclusion, it doesn't really help as much because the decision comes from a place of guilt rather than strength and resolve. #Jj123[5]
- ↑ https://web.uri.edu/cprc/transtheoretical-model-decisional-balance/. Janis, I. L., & Mann, L. (1977). Decision Making. London: Cassel and Collier Macmillan. Image.
- ↑ This seems to imply a double calculation. Both the costs and benefits of the Mitzvah, and the costs and benefits of the Aveira.
- ↑ וכן הוא במסכת דרך ארץ פ"א הלכה כח.
- ↑ https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/353175-I-don%E2%80%99t-get-it#353188
- ↑ https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/353175-I-don%E2%80%99t-get-it#353191