Urge Surfing

Mindfulness is a very broad area and has been gaining a lot popularity in recent years. For now I'll discus a mindfulness style technique called "Urge Surfing". This technique was first described in Relapse Prevention (1985), and has been gaining popularity ever since.

Just like a surfer knows how to ride a wave without getting hurt, and urge surfer learns how to let an urge come and pass without getting affected. When an urge comes, observe it curiously, as if you are an outside observer. Think to yourself, “Hmm… here comes the urge, I wonder where it came from. It’s not my true desire, the proof is my CBA. It’s just a fleeting urge coming from who-knows-where, like images in a dream…” Keep on observing the urge, noticing how it feels, until it reaches its peak. Then notice how the urge gets weaker and weaker until it disappears. By doing this, you just sit (or lie down) and do nothing when you get an urge. You don’t fight it, and you don’t try to distract yourself. You just observe it until it’s gone.

This technique is very powerful, because all it requires is your mind. Even when you have no way to distract yourself, and don’t have the energy to fight, you can still use the technique. However this technique takes some time to practice. So if you want to include it in your plan, try to practice urge surfing for everyday things until you become good at it. For example, when you feel the urge to eat a 5th cookie at midnight, try to “surf the urge”.

An idea that goes along with this technique is externalizing the urge. Instead of identifying with your urge, view it as a response to some external trigger or situation. Instead of thinking “I need to watch porn right now,'' think “I’m currently experiencing an urge to watch porn”.

Further Reading

GYE has exclusive Urge Surfing Audio clips that can help you learn and practice the technique.

From GYE Members

• Mentally, imagine the urge as a cloud. Distant from you. Watch it [as it] float[s] away. #ColinColin

My Friend Arnie

Here is an imagery technique presented by a member of SMART Recovery Lakewood:

I used to take urges way too seriously. I thought it is my duty to get rid of them, if I don't want to act out.

Now I've labeled my urges "Arnie". Arnie is my friend.

He comes into my head, he shares a lot of different things and he has a lot to say. When Arnie comes to visit and starts telling me things, I think to myself "That's just what Arnie does. He comes into my head, He tells me all kinds of things. But I already made up my mind in the past that I'm not going back there."

(I did the previous tools from my recovery, such as Hierarchy of Values, Cost Benefit Analysis. And I made a Change Plan Worksheet. I made up my mind that I am not going there and I do have control.)

I don't think of Arnie as scary, I don't need to fight him. He can talk as much as he wants, I just don't need to listen. When I treat urges like Arnie, he's not really powerful. There's nothing really to him. Suddenly the intensity of Arnie starts to lessen.

Arnie used to be the scariest thing in my life. Now only is the one of my best friends. And for some reason, once I became friends with him, he doesn't visit as often as in the past. But even when he does, he is nowhere near as scary as he used to be.

See also

DISARM