Difference between revisions of "Withdrawal"

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* Withdrawals. Oh my gosh. Seemingly uncontrollable desire to resume my old behavior (urges), extreme irritability, sleeplessness, agitation, physical flu-like symptoms, blue balls, sexual frustration, depression, dysphoria, loss of interest in anything but sex, despondency, but no suicidal thoughts like I used to have. All of these symptoms occur sometimes still, but for the most part they diminished as time went on. The first week was hell. The second week seemed a little better until it got worse, then from week three on things were manageable. I found to just love the withdrawl pain and push through it made the most sense. I don’t want to relapse again because these always reset when I go back to day one. I know. I have reset so many times. It was hard to forgive myself. It was hard to get obsessive thoughts out of my head. I latch on to the stupidest things, but they are related to my addictive behaviors. Another thing that was hard was the grief and feeling of loss of leaving this part of me behind. I felt denial, sadness, anger, negotiating tendencies (well I might not be completely done; maybe I could just edge; maybe playing with it for a minute is ok (pre-edging?)), and finally some acceptance that I no longer have porn in my life. I no longer masturbate. I no longer arouse myself via chat rooms etc. This feeling of grief and loss is very real and is still going on. I know PMO is a bad thing, but that doesn’t matter. I still feel a loss. The random erections that come as a healthy side effect of quitting PMO are a double-edged sword. I was often tempted to play with it, because after all, the most triggering “porn” for me is the sight of my own body. I don’t need a computer or a magazine or a dvd.<ref>#NeedHelpNotJewish - https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/234276-12-weeks-sober-today#234276</ref>
 
* Withdrawals. Oh my gosh. Seemingly uncontrollable desire to resume my old behavior (urges), extreme irritability, sleeplessness, agitation, physical flu-like symptoms, blue balls, sexual frustration, depression, dysphoria, loss of interest in anything but sex, despondency, but no suicidal thoughts like I used to have. All of these symptoms occur sometimes still, but for the most part they diminished as time went on. The first week was hell. The second week seemed a little better until it got worse, then from week three on things were manageable. I found to just love the withdrawl pain and push through it made the most sense. I don’t want to relapse again because these always reset when I go back to day one. I know. I have reset so many times. It was hard to forgive myself. It was hard to get obsessive thoughts out of my head. I latch on to the stupidest things, but they are related to my addictive behaviors. Another thing that was hard was the grief and feeling of loss of leaving this part of me behind. I felt denial, sadness, anger, negotiating tendencies (well I might not be completely done; maybe I could just edge; maybe playing with it for a minute is ok (pre-edging?)), and finally some acceptance that I no longer have porn in my life. I no longer masturbate. I no longer arouse myself via chat rooms etc. This feeling of grief and loss is very real and is still going on. I know PMO is a bad thing, but that doesn’t matter. I still feel a loss. The random erections that come as a healthy side effect of quitting PMO are a double-edged sword. I was often tempted to play with it, because after all, the most triggering “porn” for me is the sight of my own body. I don’t need a computer or a magazine or a dvd.<ref>#NeedHelpNotJewish - https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/234276-12-weeks-sober-today#234276</ref>
 
* It is very normal in the beginning to feel that strong pressure to masturbate. It is a form of withdrawal. #Hashem Help Me<ref>https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/353175-I-don%E2%80%99t-get-it#353177 in response to someone who wrote, "I’ve been struggling with Zerah levatala for years with very limited infrequent access to porn. Now I have very very strong taavos just a few days in- sometimes with no real triggers. I always try to occupy myself or to distract myself. I know the חז״ל Of מושחיהו לבית המדרש. I have a very strong filter and I still want to masturbate סתם."</ref>
 
* It is very normal in the beginning to feel that strong pressure to masturbate. It is a form of withdrawal. #Hashem Help Me<ref>https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/353175-I-don%E2%80%99t-get-it#353177 in response to someone who wrote, "I’ve been struggling with Zerah levatala for years with very limited infrequent access to porn. Now I have very very strong taavos just a few days in- sometimes with no real triggers. I always try to occupy myself or to distract myself. I know the חז״ל Of מושחיהו לבית המדרש. I have a very strong filter and I still want to masturbate סתם."</ref>
 +
* The first weeks were sheer hell. Just like starting was like a drug, stopping was like a physical withdrawal. i walked around in a daze, shaking from tension. i committed to making an effort not to look and not to fantasize, but it's not that easy. My triggers are EVERYWHERE, in the street, in the store ..  I constantly have to force myself to look away. i was literally whimpering whith the desire for another look, another trigger to release that good feeling in my head. It's a little easier now, but still a constant struggle. [https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends @Gevura Shebyesod]
  
 
=== New Struggles with Shmiras Einayim on the street ===
 
=== New Struggles with Shmiras Einayim on the street ===

Revision as of 19:09, 23 November 2020

Research

From GYE Members

Classic Withdrawal

  • Withdrawals. Oh my gosh. Seemingly uncontrollable desire to resume my old behavior (urges), extreme irritability, sleeplessness, agitation, physical flu-like symptoms, blue balls, sexual frustration, depression, dysphoria, loss of interest in anything but sex, despondency, but no suicidal thoughts like I used to have. All of these symptoms occur sometimes still, but for the most part they diminished as time went on. The first week was hell. The second week seemed a little better until it got worse, then from week three on things were manageable. I found to just love the withdrawl pain and push through it made the most sense. I don’t want to relapse again because these always reset when I go back to day one. I know. I have reset so many times. It was hard to forgive myself. It was hard to get obsessive thoughts out of my head. I latch on to the stupidest things, but they are related to my addictive behaviors. Another thing that was hard was the grief and feeling of loss of leaving this part of me behind. I felt denial, sadness, anger, negotiating tendencies (well I might not be completely done; maybe I could just edge; maybe playing with it for a minute is ok (pre-edging?)), and finally some acceptance that I no longer have porn in my life. I no longer masturbate. I no longer arouse myself via chat rooms etc. This feeling of grief and loss is very real and is still going on. I know PMO is a bad thing, but that doesn’t matter. I still feel a loss. The random erections that come as a healthy side effect of quitting PMO are a double-edged sword. I was often tempted to play with it, because after all, the most triggering “porn” for me is the sight of my own body. I don’t need a computer or a magazine or a dvd.[1]
  • It is very normal in the beginning to feel that strong pressure to masturbate. It is a form of withdrawal. #Hashem Help Me[2]
  • The first weeks were sheer hell. Just like starting was like a drug, stopping was like a physical withdrawal. i walked around in a daze, shaking from tension. i committed to making an effort not to look and not to fantasize, but it's not that easy. My triggers are EVERYWHERE, in the street, in the store ..  I constantly have to force myself to look away. i was literally whimpering whith the desire for another look, another trigger to release that good feeling in my head. It's a little easier now, but still a constant struggle. @Gevura Shebyesod

New Struggles with Shmiras Einayim on the street

  • When we stop lusting on the computer, all of a sudden we notice everything going on in the streets....Just know that you are experiencing what everyone else has had to go through - you are normal. #Hashem Help Me[3]
    • Thanks HHM, thinking of it as withdrawal puts it into a different perspective for me. It's not something I need anymore rather something I was living with, realized is bad for me, chose to live without and my body/brain needs some time to get used to the change. It will be difficult but it will pass. @willnevergiveup

Strong Urges

  • "I’ve hit 90 days Straight without masturbating! I’ve still been having a rough time with withdrawals, like intensely thinking about women." #Control
  1. ↑ #NeedHelpNotJewish - https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/234276-12-weeks-sober-today#234276
  2. ↑ https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/353175-I-don%E2%80%99t-get-it#353177 in response to someone who wrote, "I’ve been struggling with Zerah levatala for years with very limited infrequent access to porn. Now I have very very strong taavos just a few days in- sometimes with no real triggers. I always try to occupy myself or to distract myself. I know the חז״ל Of מושחיהו לבית המדרש. I have a very strong filter and I still want to masturbate סתם."
  3. ↑ https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/354518-Had-a-fall-after-more-than-90-days-clean#355299
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