Debunking Myths

See also Beliefs about Urges.

Some of the myths dealt with in Group Treatment for Substance Abuse are:

• Substance users have to hit “rock bottom” before they can change. The truth is there is no proof that it's true and that "quite the contrary; the earlier in the addiction process a person gets intervention, the longer he or she can live a healthy, substance-free life (Hoffman & Froemke, 2007)"
• Addicts are bad people
• Addiction is a willpower problem The truth is that "Addiction occurs in an area of the brain called the mesolimbic dopamine system that is not under conscious control. People with substance use disorders still have choice and some control-but it is compromised."
• Some people just can’t change. The truth is: "Research actually shows that the more change attempts someone makes the more likely he or she is to eventually succeed. With each attempt to change you learn more about yourself and can gain confidence from the strategies that were helpful. (When it comes to nicotine addiction, there are 42 million former smokers, which shows that addicts can change.)"

Popular Myths of GYE Members

Myth: My behavior proves that I'm a worthless

• See Self Worth.
• See Life Skills: Self-Acceptance and Compassion
• Is a diamond that is dirty a "bad diamond"? We're precious children of Hashem, and have a neshama which a חלק אלוק ממעל. This habit doesn't define us any more than lashon hara. Thousands of GYE members have been able to overcome this challenge, and feel amazing. You can too!
• There are countless guys struggling, it's just that no one talks about it. check the GYE forums to meet some of them. you are not alone!

Myth: My double life shows I'm lacking in Yiras Shamayim

• We have many incredible Yerei Shamayim on GYE. Once a habit or compulsive behavior is developed, yiras shamayim and willpower can help you get motivated, but to actually break the habit, you'll need good strategies and techniques.
• Talk about the Nisayon in our generation, and why it's so hard. See Perspectives on the Struggle.
• You are not a loser or rasha.

Myth: I don't want it enough

• Motivation is important, it's the engine that gets us started. But willpower alone is not enough to break a habit, you need strategies.

We can also deal with the following:

• Masturbation is a need. See Beliefs about Urges.
• Porn is harmless, it's just a screen. See Understanding Pornography and Pornography Use Effects. Maybe mention Halacha too.
• The problem will go away after marriage.
  • The truth is that it won't, it gets more complicated then and it can harm your marriage. It can also lead to divorce.
  • See dating. The Porn Myth is also have a good chapter on this.
• If I give up porn, my life will empty and lame.
  • Talk about how recovery can be fun (like in fortify). We can focus on how it can be very satisfying - some guys say it was one of the most significant experiences of their lives. We can introduce the aviation metaphor that way.
  • Also focus that in GYE you'll learn to replace this bad habit with other enjoyable activities, that will give you real deep satisfaction. See Lifestyle Balance.
  • Quote testimonials from How I reached 90 days

And maybe another one to address black and white thinking.

• See Life Skills: Anti-perfectionism

References

• Challenging myths related to positive outcome expectancies and discussing the psychological components of substance use (e.g., placebo effects) provide the client with opportunities to make more informed choices in high-risk situations. Relapse Prevention, Second Edition: Maintenance Strategies in the Treatment of Addictive Behaviors (Kindle Locations 273-275). Guilford Publications. Kindle Edition.