Difference between revisions of "Find the Fox"

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Here is how DISARM has been presented by a member of SMART Recovery Lakewood:<blockquote>I used to take urges way too seriously. I thought it is my duty to get rid of them, if I don't want to act out.  
 
Here is how DISARM has been presented by a member of SMART Recovery Lakewood:<blockquote>I used to take urges way too seriously. I thought it is my duty to get rid of them, if I don't want to act out.  
  
Now I've labeled my urges as "Arnie". Arnie is my friend. He comes into my head, he shares a lot of different things and he has a lot to say.
+
Now I've labeled my urges "Arnie".
  
When Arnie comes to visit and starts telling me things, I think to myself "That's just what Arnie does. He comes into my head, He tells me all kinds of things. But I already made up my mind in the past that I'm not going back there. I did the previous tools from my recovery, such as Hierarchy of Values, Cost Benefit Analysis. And I made a a Change Plan Worksheet. I made up my mind that I am not going there and I do have control."
+
Arnie is my friend. He comes into my head, he shares a lot of different things and he has a lot to say. When Arnie comes to visit and starts telling me things, I think to myself "That's just what Arnie does. He comes into my head, He tells me all kinds of things. But I already made up my mind in the past that I'm not going back there." I did the previous tools from my recovery, such as Hierarchy of Values, Cost Benefit Analysis. And I made a a Change Plan Worksheet. I made up my mind that I am not going there and I do have control.  
  
I don't think of Arnie as scary, I don't need to fight him. He can talk as much as he wants, I just don't need to listen. When I treat him like Arnie, he's not really powerful. There's nothing really to him. Suddenly the intensity of Arnie starts to lessen.  
+
I don't think of Arnie as scary, I don't need to fight him. He can talk as much as he wants, I just don't need to listen. When I treat urges like Arnie, he's not really powerful. There's nothing really to him. Suddenly the intensity of Arnie starts to lessen.  
  
 
Arnie used to be the scariest thing in my life. Now only is the one of my best friends. And for some reason, once I became friends with him, he doesn't visit as often as in the past. But even when he does, he is nowhere near as scary as he used to be.</blockquote>
 
Arnie used to be the scariest thing in my life. Now only is the one of my best friends. And for some reason, once I became friends with him, he doesn't visit as often as in the past. But even when he does, he is nowhere near as scary as he used to be.</blockquote>

Revision as of 18:31, 7 November 2020

DISARM[1] is an imagery technique to deal with urges that can help externalize an urge. This technique is included in SMART Recovery.

In the same way that your addictive behavior is only a behavior and not “you,” an urge is merely a feeling or an impulse you experience, not the essence of you.

Some people find it helps to cope with their urges if they give them a name, as if the urges were another being or something outside themselves. Give your urge and its voice a name that describes what it feels like when theurge comes on. SMART participants have used names like, “The Inner Brat,” “The Lobbyist,” “The Whiner,” and simply, “The Enemy.”

Naming your urge may help you recognize it sooner. When you hear the first whispers of its voice, address it by name, and firmly refuse it. Tell it to get lost or that it’s no longer welcome; laugh at it. Then visualize it getting smaller and weaker, and disappearing.

Personifying your urge helps in two ways: It serves as a reminder that you are not your behavior; it defines something that, until now, may have felt amorphous and shadowy. It puts you in a power position over the urge and your addictive behavior.

SMART Recovery Handbook[2]

DISARMING the ‘Salesman’

The SMART Recovery Toolbox[3] describes this technique as a way to "Defeat the Addiction Salesman in Your Head".

It is a game you can play with yourself, which might help you to:

  • Identify the specific thoughts which, if followed, would lead to using when you have already decided that, in the long term, this choice is not for you, and
  • Steadfastly refuse to go along with this thinking no matter how attractive it might seem. Instead of talking yourself into lapsing you can develop powerful countering and coping statements. To do this, it may help to invent and personify an ‘enemy’ who lives in your mind, and whose only purpose is to get you to use. The ‘salesman’ (your alter ego) knows you well, and can change form to take advantage of your weakest moments. Name your salesman (e.g. gangster, enemy, diplomat, weasel, etc.). When urges come, ask yourself, ‘What is she/he telling me now? How is she/he trying to trick me.

When thoughts are identified:

  1. Without debate, ATTACK the salesman with powerful counter statements: ‘Nice try, jerk. You can’t fool me!’ You can be as aggressive or profane as your nature allows with the salesman—after all, s/he is trying to screw up your life.
  2. Then quickly FOCUS on some other thoughts, images, or activities which are consistent with what you want in the long run and inconsistent with what the salesman is saying. The salesman then loses his power and fades away.

Later on, you can submit the salesman’s tricks to an ABC analysis in order to dispute them. You usually discover irrational themes and patterns in the thoughts and arguments the salesman throws at you. While coping statements alone will often work, it is important not to omit disputing. If your coping statements aren’t working, it is because you don’t believe them as strongly as you believe your salesman’s pitch. Through disputing we can develop powerful coping statements for use in the future.

Similar Techniques

Ray Gun Imagery

"Imagine a ray gun. Visualize your craving as a robot or a monster. Then atomize it with your weapon. Imagine the robot or monster disintegrating, its pieces spraying all over the surrounding space, until it no longer has any substance. Or imagine the craving as an alien space ship that you’re shooting at in a computer game with the same result." Peele, Stanton. Recover!: Stop Thinking Like an Addict and Reclaim Your Life with The PERFECT Program

Samurai image

"Another related imagery technique is the Samurai image. The client is instructed to visualize the urge as an externalized “enemy” or threat to one’s life. As soon as the Samurai warrior (the client) recognizes the presence of the urge, it is disposed of immediately with an active response (e.g., “beheaded with the sword of awareness”). The client as Samurai is warned that urges may assume a variety of “disguises” to avoid being detected. Although some urges may be easy to detect and deal with since they are externally visible (e.g., an open pack of cigarettes on a table), others may be more subtle and disguise themselves as an internal voice or prompter that seems to come from within (e.g., having a thought such as “I could really use a drink at a time like this”). These “internalized” urges are more difficult to deal with, since the Samurai must first externalize them in order to reveal their true identity. The more “macho” clients may wish to visualize cutting a notch in their belt for each vanquished urge." Allan Marlatt, Relapse Prevention p. 241-2.

Red-X

Some people use the ‘Red X’ technique: "I totally stopped fantasizing about porn about four weeks ago. Whenever a porn flashback enters my mind I visualize a big red X over it and imagine a loud ambulance siren. If the porn image is insistent, I visualize exploding it in my head. The key is to do it immediately. The technique becomes more automatic with time. If you don’t know what else to do, wait and do nothing. Think to yourself, ‘Here are cravings. They came out of nowhere and they have no real power over me. I am not my thoughts; I did not summon them; I do not want them; and I do not have to act on them.’ Typically, the thought will vanish without a trace (for a time). All urges die down, usually within quarter of an hour.". Wilson, Gary. Your Brain on Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction

The PIG

"Monique was particularly taken by the urge-surfing technique of seeing through the “PIG.”

The pig is a greedy, impulsive animal with a ravenous appetite; it stands for the “Problem of Immediate Gratification.” The pig shows up, grunting “I’m starving. I’m craving. Feed me now.” If you respond by giving the pig what it demands, it gets bigger and stronger. It begins to control you. When your pig says, “Give me, give me, give me now,” talk to it. Relax, observe, become mindful. Remain in control. [...] Those of you who are having difficulty with the more abstract image of surfing the urge might prefer visualizing a loud, disgusting PIG demanding to be fed. See it rummaging; hear it grunting; smell its stench. That vivid image can help you experience the urge as something external and alien, something you can observe curiously rather than fight."

John C. Norcross, Changeology

My Friend Arnie

Here is how DISARM has been presented by a member of SMART Recovery Lakewood:

I used to take urges way too seriously. I thought it is my duty to get rid of them, if I don't want to act out.

Now I've labeled my urges "Arnie".

Arnie is my friend. He comes into my head, he shares a lot of different things and he has a lot to say. When Arnie comes to visit and starts telling me things, I think to myself "That's just what Arnie does. He comes into my head, He tells me all kinds of things. But I already made up my mind in the past that I'm not going back there." I did the previous tools from my recovery, such as Hierarchy of Values, Cost Benefit Analysis. And I made a a Change Plan Worksheet. I made up my mind that I am not going there and I do have control.

I don't think of Arnie as scary, I don't need to fight him. He can talk as much as he wants, I just don't need to listen. When I treat urges like Arnie, he's not really powerful. There's nothing really to him. Suddenly the intensity of Arnie starts to lessen.

Arnie used to be the scariest thing in my life. Now only is the one of my best friends. And for some reason, once I became friends with him, he doesn't visit as often as in the past. But even when he does, he is nowhere near as scary as he used to be.

The Parasite

I try to picture the yetzer hora as a small parasite. A little fat creature sitting outside my brain clinging to me as parasites do. (It has to be a small creature not a huge overpowering monster which could feel like you're battling an overwhelming being that you have no strength for.)

Now this tiny little creature is holding the image in question and trying to push it to the forefront of my brain.

There is absolutely no need to accept his suggestion. He wants this one image to block every other thought and emotion from reaching the forefront of my brain and that is something I'm not willing to allow so easily. I value my independence and want to be able to have every thought of mine to be able to be heard.

So I have to picture Him holding this image and trying to push it to the front. Once you really see this with a completely clear mind and you have no desire to fantasize about this image, it's laughable! He's not giving up, He's still standing there, this tiny creature holding a picture much larger than himself, already blown up to magical proportion, red and sweaty, pushing the picture with all his little might while I'm watching and having a laugh![4]

Imagery in Judaism

  • אמר רב: יצר הרע דומה לזבוב ויושב בין שני מפתחי הלב - Rav said: The evil inclination is like a fly and it sits between the two entrances of the heart, as it is stated: “Dead flies make the ointment of the perfumer fetid and putrid” (brachos 61a).
  • אמר ר"ל הוא שטן הוא יצר הרע הוא מלאך המות - Reish Lakish says: Satan, the evil inclination, and the Angel of Death are one (Baba Basra 16a).
  1. DISARM stands for "Destructive Imagery and Self-talk Awareness and Refusal Method".
  2. Chapter 4 Point 2, Thinking Strategies. The DISARM concept was developed by Joseph Gerstein, M.D.
  3. https://www.smartrecovery.org/smart-recovery-toolbox/disarm/
  4. #starting, Flashes of Clarity, GYE Forum.