Phased Reduction

For the guys that were really really hard time. I've used them the house of windows, which is that you tell a guy you like to do it twice a week, Monday night, and Wednesday night, and Motzoei Shabbos, between 10:00 AM and 12:00 PM once each time. And then from that, we're going to move to once each week.

I had some guys that worked very, very well with. And I have the haskama of Rabbonim as long as the goal is to stop, obviously.

Then after 3-4 weeks, you tell the guy:

- "Let me ask you a question. If you had a terrible urge Tuesday, because you were by a wedding, how do you control yourself?"

- "I tell myself I don't need to do it right now".

- "So if you don't need to do it right now, why do you need to do it tomorrow? So let's make it twice a week. And do that for 3-4 weeks."

Then you can get it down to once a week. This can be done with yishuv hadaas, there's no rush.

At that point the the guy usually stops on his own.

Now that doesn't mean that 35 day later, you won't masturbate once because something happened.

Most people (unless they are serious addicts) are able to stick to the Windows idea if necessary and it get to the point where they say, "Hey, I don't really need this. And if I do, I know exactly what I'm doing it. It's not a necessity."

Dealing with resistance

• See Beliefs about Urges

• I tell people, your ___ doesn't have its own brain. When I was a bochur I wanted to cut it off. I looked at it as a davar mufrad that was ruining my life. This ___ thing is just ruining my life. It's destroying it. I used to masturbate 3x a day. And I got mamosh sick from it. Terribly, terribly anxious. It was destroying my life. I was like it had it's own name, its own brain, its on everything. And it's not true. It's just totally not true. The problem is getting the person to realize it's not true. This takes a lot of chizuk and a lot of repetition, a lot of just reminding them again and again. #Anonymous