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Habits/Addiction

אמר רב הונא: כיון שעבר אדם עבירה ושנה בה - הותרה לו. הותרה לו סלקא דעתך? אלא אימא: נעשית לו כהיתר. (מועד קטן כז, ב)

אמר ליה רב לחייא בריה לא תשתי סמא (פסחים קיג, א). וברש"י ד"ה לא תשתי סמא: לא תלמד לשתות סמים, מפני שתקבע להון ווסת ויהא לבך שואלך ותפזר מעות.

Beginning are hard

• שמות פרק יט פסוק ה: ועתה אם שמוע תשמעו בקלי ושמרתם את בריתי והייתם לי סגלה מכל העמים כי לי כל הארץ. וברש"י ד"ה ועתה: אם עתה תקבלו עליכם יערב לכם מכאן ואילך, שכל התחלות קשות.

From GYE Members

General

You are BH doing great. Keep it up. You have proven to yourself that it can be done. Be aware that the yetzer hora does not sleep and tries to get back his old customers. He will throw in your path a tsunami of nisyonos as you b'ezras Hashem break free. Staying connected with chevra here - who have "been there and done that" - is immensely helpful. Every time a new challenge arises that you feel is insurmountable, just reach out to the oilam for advice, chizuk, and simply to unload without shame or embarrassment. Continued hatzlocha! #Hashem Help Me

Third Week

• Day 19: Overall I can still feel the urges. Sometimes I really want to give in. But they are mostly weaker. They are slowly fading into the background. I know that I don't have to give in.  I can sleep better, Baruch Hashem and I am tossing and turning less at night. Baruch Hashem an improvement. But I must always remember to be vigilant, because the yetzer hora has patience. #anonymousmillenial

Month #3

• #Day69 - Wow, I just reread all my posts. It is such a chizuk to be reminded of where I came from. How I was stuck and after over 10 years trying I still couldn't break free. B"h I am now more than 2/3 the way to my 90 day benchmark (the journey will still continue). After starting to read through cordnoy's thread it reminded me of some of the main tools for sobriety and from the 12 steps. Yes, it is now easier to be clean and fight my y"h then it was 69 days ago. However, it is still a challenge and I no longer have the chizuk of a fresh challenge. As I am clean for longer reality sinks in that it will just be a challenge day after day. While I am excited at the prospect it is still a daunting task. In this regard I feel like I have to remind myself what I said in my first post. That I don't have the power to control my lust and without Hashems help I am powerless. I have to surrender and make sure I don't risk my sobriety by taking chances on silly worthless sights or being in places that are more at risk for slipping. #Realestatemogul

3-6 Months

• It's great that you feel like it's easier than it was when you started out. After my first time hitting 90 days, it didn't feel much easier to be honest. But after multiple longer periods of sobriety it definitely got easier for me. #Ihavestrength
  • First of all congrats on the job well done! It is no small feat to reach 88 days clean! As far as advice for next stage: I would recommend setting another short term goal, 120 days is a good number. Also, I would recommend taking something you know helps you stay clean, but you don’t yet do regularly, and incorporating it into your daily routine, (or at least a few times a week on set days). This will help you to keep growing in your personal development and recovery, especially as the novelty of the journey and challenge starts wearing off. Lastly, I would say that next 90 days are no less significant than the previous ones in every respect; in healing, in opportunity for growth, and yes, even possibly in difficulty. I think people attribute too much magic to the 90 days at the expense of realizing that the time after is just as crucial to healing. To put it in perspective, I’d guess that more people fell after being clean for 90 days than those stayed cleaned indefinitely after reaching 90 days (anecdotal evidence lol). #Ihavestrength
• Phew, thanks for everyone's encouragement I made it to #121 days, bh the urges went away this morning once I woke up, but after all being a bochur is tough..lol #Shnitzel and kugel
  • Day #134! Just saying I had big urges to act out tonight, but what's the point in having 30 sec enjoyment which will cause me 30 days of feeling depressed! #Shnitzel and kugel
• #148 and counting... 148 is... more than 4 months... more than 21 weeks... #WOW These have been of the best 148 days of my life! It was hard in the beginning but I knew I HAD to change my mindset and get it done. B''H for GYE! #Realestatemogul
• I can stay clean for over a hundred days with minimal effort. That is something I never thought was possible. When you’re consumed by lust you don’t realize how easy it is to say no. If you get clean for a few weeks, or perhaps days you suddenly have a clear mind. It’s as if a fog lifts and you have clarity “I don’t need it. It doesn’t do anything good for me. I can have an urge and just let it blow over.” And it gives me a lot of hope for the future. If I can do it for a hundred, I can do it for a thousand, and ultimately-for a lifetime. Which sounds like a lovely prospect... #OivedElokim
• Day #157 - Thank you both for the chizzuk! I am happy that my count makes is proof that there are others who can make serious change in their life. This was my life's goal to be able to conquer this challenge and B"H as the days go by and I build a stronger foundation to stay clean, I am able to have new goals and accomplish other sets off accomplishments. Every day still requires constant vigilance and Hashem created us with certain tenancies to be able to give us schar (reward) and B"H I am staying strong but there is nothing magical about what I am doing. Hashem only gives us struggles we can handle and we have to do our best. The single most impactful thing I changed in my life, was to.... have a POSITIVE ATTITUDE. This means 2 things: 1 - Is in general to stay positive and happy about your life. Realize that Hashem is in charge and try to ALWAYS make the best of your situation. 2 - This one is a it longer.... It is extremely important, specifically in shmiras habris, to stay positive about your success in performing the 613 mitzvos. I wan't to make sure I am clear what I mean and what I don't mean. [...] #Realestatemogul (click to read the full post)
• Day #163 - Thank you Hashem! It's hard to be clean, just saying. Sometimes I just want to give in. But B''h I am way more interested in being clean, functioning and living better, and being closer to Hashem. #Realestatemogul
• #230 - It's been tough, BH. It's amazing how it is still just as much as a struggle after being clean for so long. The only thing that makes it easier is the solid foundation that helps and knowing that you are keeping something amazing going. #Realestatemogul (see also his later post).