Twerski on GYE - Transcripts of Talks

The Lobster

A lobster is a soft mushy animal that lives inside of a rigid shell. That rigid shell does not expand. Well, how can the lobster grow?

As the lobster grows, that shell becomes very confining and the lobster feels itself under pressure and uncomfortable. It goes under a rock formation to protect itself from predatory fish, casts off the shell, and produces a new one.

Well, eventually that shell becomes very uncomfortable as it grows… back under the rocks – good! The lobster repeats this numerous times, the stimulus for the lobster to be able to grow is that it feels uncomfortable.

Now, if lobsters had doctors, they would never grow, because as soon as the lobster feels uncomfortable, it goes to the doctor, gets a Valium, gets a Percocet, feels fine. Never casts off his shell. So, I think, we have to realize that times of stress are also times that are signals for growth. And if we use adversity properly, we can grow through adversity.

Rabbi Twerski Talk, Dec 2009

(Partial transcript from this audio file):

The kind of Shmutz that's out there is unprecedented; I don't know that ever in history has there been a period of moral darkness as bad as it is today... I spent 40 years of psychiatric practice primarily dealing with addictions. And most of the time it was addictions to alcohol, addiction to drugs. More recently, internet addiction has become extremely serious. We have to be aware that addictions are there and we do not have any immunity to them. You have no idea as to what category of people have fallen victim to internet pornography. We would not think that these type of people would be capable of it. But ... the Yetzer Hara is working at full speed and full strength.... It's one of the most powerful addictions. Day - after day - after day - I get letters and calls from people who say, "what can I do to save myself?" because they have fallen into the pornography addiction and it has taken them all the way down. Their learning is no learning, their davening is no davening. It has ruined more marriages than anything, ruined families. It's been terribly destructive. I saw one sefer that says that before the time of Moshiach the Satan will have absolute control, and I believe that we are now ready for Moshiach because it seems that the Satan has got absolute control in subjugating some of our finest people to this horrible addiction.

Do I have an addiction?

Rabbi Abraham Twerski answers the question in this audio (32 minutes and 12 seconds into the talk). Here is a transcript:

First of all, the question is, what is the definition of addiction? I don't think we have a good definition of an addict. I think if a person knows that what he's doing is wrong, harmful, destructive, whatever, and he tries to stop doing it, and he makes a sincere effort to stop doing it, and finds that he cannot do it, I think he can call himself an addict. I don't know what the importance is for giving it a name. I think that (he can call himself an addict) if a person comes to that realization, "here's something that I know I shouldn't be doing, and I know it's destructive. I'm trying to stop it, I've tried to stop eleven times, or a hundred times, but I haven't been able to. I need someone's help at being able to stop".