Reasons for Change

Note: Some spelling errors have been fixed.

13-14

I don't want to be addicted

• I don't want to be the kind of person who is addicted to bad things.
• I feel enslaved to it, and i feel like i have no hope
• I want to break free cause i don't want to be trapped in this torturous cycle of looking at porn and masturbating
• I also feel awful about it after I see it and I don't want my life dictated by it, I want to live a beautiful and free life away from it all
• I want to prevent it from becoming a full on addiction

It's not an acceptable behavior

• I can't live with the fact that everyone thinks that what I do is bad, even if they don't know that I do it.
• I know that a yeshiva bochur shouldn't be watching this
• I know it is bad

It's not me

• I'm good bachur for everything other than this
• I want to break away from porn because that's not the person I am or want to be

It makes me feel guilty

• Although I don't keep every mitzvah, I try, and I don't feel good about doing aveiros.
• I feel it is conflicting my beliefs
• Im scared of punishment
• it's an aveirah
• bittul tora
• They make me feel bad after doing it. Hshem doesn't like it and I LOVE hashem and want to be clean in his eyes. But I feel dirty after doing it.
• I know what all the seforim say about this...
• want to be close to Hashem, and feel the kedusha I used to.
• I want to stop myself from doing this terrible aveira.
• I want to be clean
• It's against Halachah - I want to have a relationship with my wife and G-D I don't want to have all the "side effects of doing it". I feel terrible after I do it.
• It's huge aveira, it infects the mind. It makes u feel guilty which lessens self confidence.

I want a clear mind

• I want to stop I want to be a person with a clear mind ,make it easier to focus on learning and be able to look at the world with a cleaner, healthier view
• It ruins my davening and learning and I daven every day for help
• I want to daven and learn the way I used to/should

It makes me feel like crap

• I just want to stop... i simply hate it with all my might. It gets me into a bad mood where i just think to myself you are the biggest idiot why the hell did you just do that.

Other Negative Effects

• It makes me lethargic, and takes up my time.

• it wastes my time
• I also know that it affects my health.
• I realized that it only is leading me to trouble
• I want to improve my self-esteem

I'm afraid someone will find out

• I don't want it to continue and then someone finds out about it

It hurts my spiritual growth

• I want to become a Ben Torah and this is one of the only problems I struggle with in terms of Yiddishkeit. This problem is really bothering me because i know its assur but it is really hard to stop. And it is preventing me from growing in my Torah and my Avodas Hashem

Makes me feel insincere

• I feel insincere when I pray and practice mitzvos because of that.

16 - 17 Years Old

• I want to quit because its not a good thing and I don't want it. It's going to run after me a whole day and it bothers me. It doesn't pay for me. And because it's not allowed.
• I WANT TO GET ALL THIS OUT OF MY HEAD, SO I CAN FOCUS ON SHTEIGING HIGHER!!!!!
• It is a distraction
• It is a waste of time
• G-D does not want me to do those things
• I try to help others with this problem and I feel like a hypocrite.
• I'm a good bochur and im already struggling for about a year and I feel so far from hashem. I feel I wanna get closer to hashem.
• I wanna stop because watching born causes me to waste seed every day.
• Because of this, when I go on the street and I see a girl my mind goes straight to that.
• Watching porn makes me crazy. I can't concentrate on anything. It makes me waste seed everyday. When I go on the street and I see a girl my mind goes crazy. My dream is to get out of it.
• I can't learn. When that comes into my mind it doesn't go away. It makes me crazy.
• It's not who I am and I feel awful when messing up and it's not gods will and I don't want this to be me.

• Because after all I want to get married and have talmidei chachmim kids.
• Because I want a connection to Hashem, I want to do His ratzon and learn Torah bekedusha.
• I don't want to feel like I'm living a double life- I want to be in control. I know that it's the wrong thing and I just want to stop.
• After every time that I give into my yetzer hara I feel like an idiot.
• I come from a really frum background and I am descended from some really holy people so I am actually really embarrassed about what I am doing.
• I know it is completely wrong. I just wanna be a good orthodox Jew.
• Because i know its not good
• The kitzur shulchan aruch lists it as the worst sin. It is horrifying and depressing. It makes me so distant from ruchnius.
• It is damaging physically.
• It makes me unable to face my yeshiva friends. It is disgusting. I want to be pure.
• I feel disgusting and very low and down about it
• I AM READY TO CONQUER MY YETZER HORAH!!!
• The reason I want to do this is that it disturbs my concentration on much more important matters on Torah and studies.
• Also, watching the porn makes me feel sick to the stomach and makes want to beat myself after I peel my eyes away from seeing it.
• Because it's a very big aveirah
• I also feel like it will effect my ability to be a good husband
• I have a massive feeling of guilt after every time I do it
• I want to be clear minded from all of these horrible things online and try to learn as much as i could.
• I truly love learning torah and this is a big thing that holds me back. These horrible things come to my mind during tefillah and sometimes my learning which is a big distraction.

• The after feeling is disgusting loose tons of energy and I know it's morally incorrect and I want to be careful with smirass einayim
• no one wants to be addicted to anything
• I want to to be the best yid I can be. I want to be a tahor yid!!!!!
• Because its assur and causes damage to my neshama
• I want to be zocheh to a beautiful family of bnei torah.
• Inherently, and deep down (very deep down) I know it’s the wrong thing.
• I would like to have a strong and lasting marriage . I’ve read some stories on your site about men becoming inhumane due to their addiction and I’m extremely scared of becoming that and causing my spouse so much pain.
• The life a have been living until now is a double life, on one side a shtark guy in a shtark yeshiveh on the other somebody who cant control himself from looking at shmutz and frequently masturbates.
• It's something that makes me angry and depressed all the time
• It takes me away from my learning
• I want to trust myself that when I'm on my own I won't fall to do bad things.
• I really want to be pure and I always feel bad afterwards.
• I really want to be able to control myself
• The obvious one is there is absolutely no benefit besides immediate satisfaction which then comes all the downsides of 1) time wasted 2) bad thoughts when instead I could be thinking about good intentions and helping people 3) Not only is it all fake but it is a completely inside out way of looking at relationships and how you should treat each other. and lots of other downsides.
• I want to come out of High School ready to be in a relationship and it is very unhealthy to have this habit.
• I want to be able to focus on my learning in kedusha
• I want to quit because i am in yeshiva and its really getting in the way of me shtieging and that really bothers me cause i want to be close to hashem

18-20 Years Old

• I can't continue to play a double game. During the day I learn torah, but at night I can resist to watch porn and masturbate. (2 times a week).
• I believe that it is wrong for several reasons. firstly it is using G-ds body that he gave me for the wrong purposes. Secondly it is a waste of resources both spiritually and physically.
• I don't want to be the kind of guy that has his dirty secrets behind peoples backs about how he can't control himself when alone. It is not a life quality or habit that I want. I want to be able to be in control over my own body.
• If I stop, I can have more time and concentration for other things such as learning, building talents and spending time with fam.
• Because I am a really religious Jew besides for this one issue, and I feel like I am a fake from person simply because I do this one sin.
• As I get closer to marriage age I am scared that pornography will kill any future relationship I could have. I just want to be a good, healthy Jew who leads a proper, frum family.
• I want to be able to learn with out images popping in my head and O want to pray without images popping in my head
• I want to grow and become amazing and inspire people and start doing kiruv and I cant do anything with this problem
• Because I am a Jew and I don't want to to do what Hashem dosen't want
• It brings me down and i feel depressed after
• I'm embarrassed of myself and i really want to stop
• I want to be honest. I can't pretend to be something I am not. The faking makes me feel like, well, a faker. I want to be tocho ke'baro, and be completely honest and straight forward with who I am.
• It makes me angry with myself.
• It strains my relationship with Hashem. When one consistently does something his friend doesn't like, his friend will leave. I know Hashem will never leave me, but I want to be close.
• I want to actually love. I constantly doubt weather I love my friends for real, or maybe I am just attracted to them. I think I really do love them, I don't think about them in a sexual manner, but some of them are good looking. Porn irons that "loving" because of looks into me. Similar to the above reason, do not want my love to be based off of such meaningless things, such as looks and body shape (or really even popularity or things like that). I want to see the endless good in my fellow yidden.
• It sounds abstract, but I just want to be pure. I don't want to read goyish books, listen to bad music, see bad things, or think bad thoughts. I want to be an emesdig pure person, full of Ahavas Hashem and Ahavas Yisroel. I want to sit with Hashem, and I want to help my friends. I need to. I need to love Hashem always, and I need to love my friends always. Porn distracts and corrupts. I have to stop.
• Many times I use it as a distraction when things get rough. It doesn't help. It makes things worse. It wastes time and energy, and I never feel good afterwards. It makes me a less productive person.
• I can't give in to base desires. If I do what is to stop me from other ones. If my actions are based off of straight lust/emotion against my better judgement, what is to stop me from going farther (not that this isn't bad enough)? What is to stop me from getting angry?
• I will never be able to be married like this. At least not in good conscience.
• Hashem hates arayot and this is a form of arayot
• I feel horrible after doing it
• It’s such a waste of time
• It’s harder to learn/prey after I do it
• The taavah gets me in the most random ways and the most random times I just hate it so much
• It's getting me really worried for when i will get married, I'm worried about my future
• I want to stop because I am a strong believer in the Torah and in God.
• My values are much higher than this and every time I do it, I regret it instantly.
• I am exhausted with this and I can’t take it anymore, yet I still do it.
• I want to have the willpower to stop and be dominant to my urges instead of my urges dominating me. Also this affects other aspects of life. I feel like if I can permanently quite than I will be able to have the willpower to be dominant over many other bad urges and not only this one.
• I also know it’s a huge sin and costs me a lot - yet with all this - I still can’t quite and every time I have an urge it’s very hard to stop.
• This also effects my Torah learning and growing spiritually and I am devastated that I am doing this.
• It ruins my mind my decisions and the way I interact socially
• It’s very unhealthy
• It makes me feel guilty and when the urge comes I keep on telling myself it’s worth the pleasure but it’s not!
• Because I am trying to become a better yid in every aspect and this one of the things that are holding me the most in my avodah. it is difficult to learn, pray even the day after.
• Because I want to get over the addiction as early as possible before marriage and I know that it is a very bad thing to be doing as a jew
• I want a good husband without any of these problems effecting me
• I'd like to become the man I want to be

Costs of Stopping

• I have such a feeling of relaxation and a release of all my stress. I do not know how I am going to function without that feeling.