Understanding Pornography

Intro

HKBH created the world he created the animal kingdom, male and female. They were created separately. There's no concept of marriage, intimacy, loyalty, besides a few birds that nest for life. Most of the animal kingdom interchanges mates and spouses all the time and there's no tayna on them except when they intermingle with another species like in Parshas Noach.

The fact that one horse is with this horse or that horse, and then switches the next day to the other is not an issue since that's the way it was created.

And the actual act itself is an act in a vacuum. There's sometimes a little bit of a ritual that they do beforehand. But it's not the culmination of a relationship, and they go on with life.

But with Adam and Chava, there were created זכר ונקבה בראם - together. And then Hashem separated them. From that moment on in history, there's been an inexorable urge in all of mankind and in every single culture from the highest levels of civilizations and from the lowest levels of civilization in the African jungles or in the Aborigines in Australia, Eskimos native Indians, any human beings there have ever been, there's been a sacred concept of a man and a woman coming together to become that one unit, again, like they were in Gan Eden.

The culmination of that is the sexual act. The sexual act is not an act in a vacuum.

So when people live a life where they support each other, emotionally, they're intimate with each other. They go to the doctor's office with each other, they go with each other to the nursing home, they don't abandon each other. They financially and emotionally support each other. And then they engage in the sexual act as a hemshech (continuation) of that. That's one of the most uplifting and holy and, satisfying acts that a person can do, which is the exact opposite of what pornography is teaching our generation.

Phonography is the Hemshech of the Western culture, that sex is a sin. So if sex is a sin anyway, and they engaging in it anyways, so have a good time on your own expense and other people's expense.

A woman's body is a toy to be played with to abuse and to use, a wife is not there to necessarily love. She's there to be used and abused in the bedroom. And that's the message of phonography. You don't have to care about the other person. You don't even need to know their name. You don't care if they die the next day, you just need that their body parts, should respond accordingly.

This is why many, many people after they get married and the wife becomes pregnant or gained some weight, there is big shalom bayis problems. And it's all being noveya (derived) from these expectations, which by the way, the pornography industry Photoshops and does things not physically possible for a person to do on a daily or every other third day, fourth day, people can't do these things.

People go to work, they're tired. Um, some people, it's beneath their dignity, the women are not willing to do these moves and everything else. The whole, concept is a disaster for shalom bayis, even if the wife never finds out, and there's no one watching, the husband is missing the whole point.

The husband feels guilty. He doesn't know why he feels guilty. There was that study that the typical American man is depressed after ejaculating either with having a relationship with his wife from masturbating and doesn't know why.

And it's very obvious why, because his nefesh understands that it's very selfish, and in the case of relations with a wife it's to abuse somebody. And honestly, pornographic sex is only satisfying until the moment of ejaculation. After that doesn't feel any, anything good, any relaxation, any uplifting.

In real sex, it's like a sunrise, as opposed to a neon lights where it's an incredible experience. And a person can imagine that the shechina is there with them, that איש ואשה, זכו - שכינה ביניהן, and שלשה שותפין באדם, and kevayachol Hashem in the bedroom with them, and a child is created.

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Hashem put kochos in the world. So for example, Hashem put let's say electricity in the world and electricity can be used for so much bracha, so much tikun haolam. A person can light up a shul and light up a hospital with all the lifesaving machinery in the hospital. Refrigeration, air conditioning, even computers, all based on electricity. Most of our construction wouldn't be able to be done without basics of electricity.

So mankind had harnessed a bracha that Hashem put in the world and used it letov (for good).

Along comes a Rasha and he goes ahead and he takes that same bracha and he kills somebody with it. Hashem put the ability to corrupt a Bracha.

The same issue happens with sexuality. Hashem put this amazing, amazing koach where a child can be created together with Hashem, where there can be an amazing Shalom Bayis of a husband and a wife. And al pi Kabbala there could be yichudim elyonim that are going on and tremendous tremendous tikunim are taking place.

And along come these low lives, and they create the pornography industry. It's like two trains heading in opposite directions, passing the same station. The actual act may look the same on the screen, but the whole before and the whole after and the whole everything else is totally, totally off. Destructive. Taking that Koach that Hashem put in the world front and destroying with it.

Undoing Damage

The images people BH slowly, they slowly forgot it. But the mindset of what they saw, doesn't go away by itself, and it has to be completely eradicated.

If you've been exposed to porn, and you're a engaged, please tell your chosson rebbe that you saw pornography, or at least hint it. And if that's not an option, at least speak to a mentor on GYE to work on having the right mindset.