Stimulus Control

Topics

• Filters
• Monitoring Software
• Avoiding Triggers
• Shmiras Einayim

From GYE Members

• The environment is a huge source of temptation. I found it much easier to stay clean while I was working from home, though I did have some lustful thoughts as I am single and live alone. But because I had fewer distractions around me, I found I was less prone to entertain those thoughts. #shmuel83
• We cannot defeat the yetzer hara now. Forget it, it can't be done. B"H when Moshiach comes, he will remove it from the world, but until that time comes, we just have to learn not to engage with it. As we say each day when reciting the Shema, we must learn to not follow after our heart and after our eyes by which we go astray. If Hashem commanded us to do it, then we are capable of doing it. #shmuel83

Attitude

• I also used to think i want those 'urges' so that i can prove myself, untill i realised, dont we daven every day not to be in a situation of nisayon? and dont chazal tell us a number of times that in theese areas we need the most gedarim. the greatest amoraim stumbled when placed in front of high temptation, i don't quiet class myself better than them! #excellence
• It is interesting how many people are intimidated with the idea of a filter - "I have to just learn to control myself", but they would never entertain the thought of having a cabinet of treife food in their home and teaching the kids "just control yourself". #HashemHelpMe
• One piece of advice.. GET A FILTER FOR YOUR COMPUTER!!! This is an absolute must!  Without this, it is like entering a boxing match with one hand tied behind your back! There is no way to win!!  I was struggling for years, my longest clean streak was 35 days, and it wasn't until I got my internet filtered that I improved more than that. Even if a filter costs you money, it is money very well spent! #Yerushalmi

Social Media

• #Day127 -Thanks for the chizuk. What helps me the most is putting myself in the best situation for me to thrive. Not just in terms of shmiras eynayim and shmiras habris, but also in general in life being in a position that is the most natural for me to succeed and be productive in a healthy and meaningful way. #Realestatemogul
• Lifee Aniyus Daytee, I think you should delet Twitter. It's a non Jewish platform with so much shmutz, and we all know even if your looking at clean news, or sports... For every 5 minutes spent scrolling through the feed its inevitable that you will see something of pritzus and triggering. Why walk down that path in the first place. I used this same philosophy for myself with music streaming apps. I'm only gonna listen to kosher music, but every so often against my will a new Apple Music artist will be advertised with her picture... Not something someone who is struggling really needs. I deleted Apple Music on my phone and canceled my subscription. For myself I made s concious decision that I'm going to try to make this as easy as possible for me, and when a real fight comes I'll have the energy to say know because those little things were never chipping away at me. I'm also not saying it's an easy decision, in order to be clean we really need to give up a lot. It's usually the small acts that can end up having huge effects in our recovery. Although I might say that that picture isn't your fault, what I will say is that it got you to think about porn... Something that would not have been brought up otherwise. #yosef10

Secular Media

• My biggest challenge has been reducing the time I spend on secular entertainment (music, TV, sport), as this can also lead to sin if allowed unchecked. I used to listen to music a lot to unwind, and I still do sometimes, but now I am trying to replace the time I used to spend on entertainment with Torah study (listening to kosher speakers only, and davening. Strong mussar (for those who are not so addicted) is like an antibiotic for the yetzer hara. #shmuel83
• Movies... these ppl get paid millions of dollars to be presented on a screen. And presenting they do. They obv have an allure to them. As ppl who are struggling we have to be extra careful cause this is a pashet trigger(its well disguised as an entertaining movie, but let's call a spade a spade). It's hard to stop all movies and shows, but... at what cost. At least at least if you really want to watch, make sure it clean(IMDB has by every movie something called "parents guide" which goes thru the non clean scenes in a movie. At least if you're going to watch the movie check that out before. Disclaimer: Reading that parents guide itself can be triggering so use it as a last resort if you have to watch(prob better to read it, then see it) and be ready for whats coming). #battle-of-the-gen

Movies

• I often tell people re Netflix and stam non-Jewish movies, "you do realize that the velos sasuru acharei levavchem veacharei eineichem, wasn't said about pornography, it was said about anything that's inappropriate to see." And that's an eye opening comment to a lot of people that they, that their focus is so has gone to such this abysmal low, they start realizing that, you know, yiddiskeit wasn't here to fight phonography it was here to stop any inappropriate content. #HashemHelpMe

Changing Your Routine

• Another aspect is to pinpoint when you are triggered like jj123 wrote and try to "diffuse" those situations. For example if it's staying up late then try to go to sleep earlier or get up earlier so you will be more tired at night. If its showering then try to arrange your shower at a time you are in a rush or pressured to finish as quickly as possible for whatever reason. And so on. We must make "tachbulot" to outsmart the yetzer harah. #Grant400