GYE In a Nutshell

[From https://guardyoureyes.com/the-gye-program/initial-evaluation]

GuardYourEyes uses a unique approach to help people, by recognizing that there are many different levels in the struggle. We have summarized, in a nut-shell, the suggestions that we found work best for strugglers at various levels. Use the “Nutshell” to find what level you identify with most, and what recommendations would be most appropriate for your level.

Level 1:

I struggle with shmiras ainayim, desires and fantasies (like most males).

Suggestions:

• Daily Chizuk: Sign up to the GYE BOOST.

• Filters: Get a good filter for all your internet enabled devices. We can help you find what’s best for you on our venishmartem website.

Level 2

I have stumbled and ‘acted-out’ on rare occasions, but I believe I can abstain ‘indefinitely’ if I put in some effort and remain determined.

Suggestions (previous suggestions and):

• Reporting Software: Install Reporting Software on top of your filter, to have lists of all questionable websites sent to a friend or Rav that you respect and would be ashamed to disappoint. We suggest webchaver.com (which combines a filter and reporting software in one). Have a GYE partner hold your password/s so you won't be tested.

• Attitude and Perspective: Read the "Attitude & Perspective" principles of the GYE program to understand the nature of this struggle, and to learn how to use it as a spring-board for personal growth and divine service.

Level 3:

I can abstain from ‘acting-out’ for long periods of time (more than 90 days), but somehow I keep falling into it again.

• Reading on our Forum: By reading on our forum through the posts of hundreds of other Yidden who struggle with this, you will internalize that you are not alone, and will get to learn the techniques and attitude that work for so many others.

• Find daily activities to fill your time in positive ways: Begin to incorporate planned substitutes for boredom, procrastination and inactivity into you daily life. Create for yourself a more structured daily schedule which incorporates these new activities. Increase exercising on a regular basis.

Level 4:

I’ve tried many times, but I can’t generally abstain from ‘acting-out’ for significant periods of time (90 days or more).

Suggestions (previous suggestions and):

• The 90-Day Journey: Take the “90 Day” leap of faith and stay clean for a full 90 days to break the addictive pattern in the mind (based on a recent scientific study). Use our 90-Day system to chart your progress and get encouragement as you advance to new levels.

• The TaPHSiC Method: Study and apply the TaPHSiC Method. It teaches us how to balance our Yiras Shamayim - which doesn’t generally work very well in addictions, with tangible self imposed penalties. By wisely combining the two, as described in the TaPHSiC method, we can produce a strong fence to protect ourselves from falling. It also teaches us how to avoid acting compulsively on our obsession.

Level 5:

I’ve tried everything in levels 1-4 and still can’t stay stopped.

Suggestions (previous suggestions and): Anonymous ‘Virtual’ Support:

• Forums: Post on the forum to get support from the rest of the GYE community. Tell your story, post a log of your journey, reach out for help when feeling weak, and strengthen each other. The forum is a life-line of chizuk and support for hundreds of people in exactly your situation.
• A Partner: Get a partner through GYE’s partner system. Be in touch by e-mail/chat daily. Strengthen each other. (You must be a member, sign up here).

Level 6:

I’ve tried everything in levels 1-5 and still can’t stay stopped.

Suggestions (previous suggestions and): Anonymous ‘Phone’ Support:

• 12-Step Phone Conferences: Get the power of group support. Join a 12-Step phone conferences anonymously, and work this powerful program along with people in your situation, with guidance from an experienced moderator. This world-renowned program has helped millions of people around the world to break free of all types of addictive behaviors.

• Phone Partner: Get a partner to be in touch with by phone as often as necessary (through GYE’s partner system).

Level 7:

I’ve tried everything in levels 1-6 and still can’t stay stopped.

Suggestions (previous suggestions and): ‘Live’ Support:

• Live 12-Step Groups: Get the power of live-group support and open up to others face-to-face. Find a 12-Step group in your area. Let go of the shame and open up to others.

• Therapy: We highly recommend searching for a good professional therapist who can help you overcome your challenges and find the well-being that you deserve. See GYE’s therapist referral pages to find a therapist.