Am I An Addict?
Am I An Addict?
This is a question that many newcomers to this site find themselves grappling with.
First off, I'd like to point out that if the title, 'Addict' makes you uncomfortable, don't use it. If you are an addict, you will eventually figure that out. The bottom line is that you came here because you have an issue that is taking over your life, and you haven't been able to make progress on your own.
Now that that is out of the way, I would like to touch upon what addiction means to me, and how a basic function of human life can turn into such.
Take a piece of cake.
It's a tasty food, but not a very healthy choice for nutritional value.
Now, most people can have a slice or two on occasion, and it will be enough for them.
In the grand of scheme of things, though unhealthy, it won't be very harmful to these people because they are able to stop eating once they've had enough.
For overeaters, however, they have no off switch. They are obsessed with food and they can't get enough of it. Every minute, they are eagerly awaiting their next feast. Before they get to an event, their minds are preoccupied with what might be served.
It's that way for lust addicts as well. For most people, they may be able to have a bit of lust. We can argue about whether it can be healthy or not, but for those people, in the grand scheme of things, it's not a big deal.
For me, I know that once I allow myself to entertain one tiny thought of, "wow, cute looking girl," or whatever, my mind does not let go. There is no off switch. One thought leads to the next, which leads to the next. The next thing I know I'm on the computer saying, "5 more minutes." Three hours later, it's one or two in the morning, I know I have to be up at 6:30, and I'm still having a hard time pulling myself away to go to sleep. Then in addiction mode, I wake up at 5:30 to get on before I need to leave the house. I'm exhausted and not functioning properly, but who cares? I like it. So the whole day I'm looking forward to getting back to my garbage and I'm irritable if I'm unable to return it when I was anticipating it.
This is the picture of addiction, but keep in mind there are many people on GYE who are going through the same struggles. Being an addict doesn't mean that we are bad. It just means that over time we have taught ourselves to deal with life in an unhealthy way. It's a journey to get and keep ourselves healthy, but there are many many success stories.
Whatever you do, don't give up. Stay out of isolation and keep on moving forward!