Despair

Also known as Yiush.

From GYE Members

• I am a serious avreich learning full time, I learn mussar regularly and constantly strengthen myself with various incentives. I can then usually keep myself clean for 2-3 weeks, then this or that and I am back to square one. I will then go through a phase of a few days with no control depression feeling awful about myself and what I did. I get so upset at myself because of how hard I am trying and how important this is to me that I go through a stage of complete disconnect, guilt and depression. Usually after a few days of this I tell myself that Hashem doesn't want be to feel guilty (at least not this way) because the guilt/depression is causing you to act out (and Hashem obviously doesn't want that...). I found this to be particularly helpful, knowing that even though i was doing something terrible and maybe there would be a time to feel guilty, now isn't that time. Now is the time for a fresh start and a fresh start means no guilt, rather, a new day and a new opportunity. #wilnevergiveup