Dating

Issues

• Its very difficult to respond properly without really knowing you. In general, pornography is extremely destructive to the proper marriage mindset. You BH seem to b'ezras Hashem cut the cord from viewing it. However the images remain for a while. If you decide to proceed with shidduchim, make sure not to objectify any of the people you meet. Iyh when you get engaged, be open with the chosson rebbi that you were exposed to inappropriate material and he should please give you the extra time to set you straight. On and off the site are many excellent recordings of shiurim and speeches, but nothing compares to real one on one talks. Based on your positive attitude and style of writing, it appears you will iyh have one lucky wife, one whose husband will be focused on giving and giving and giving. @HashemHelpMe

Disclosure

• How to tell him/her about my problem by #Dov
• Most women don't really "get it" about the urges that boys have. It is usually not advisable to discuss this issue with them, especially if the boy has shown bli ayin hora much ability to be in control. Over 100 days at a first try, such focus - this is one special fellow. If anything, he should discuss it with a rebbi or therapist who deal with this issue and can advise wisely. @HashemHelpMe
  • The talk with the girl is to let her know that he had some struggles in this area and overcame it, so if you are wrong that this will never happen to him again she doesn't conclude she was shortchanged and he has much better chances of success. @mzl
    • Once someone is married there is nothing wrong in sharing that dealing with the street and the general effect Western Culture has on us is challenging for any bochur who wishes to remain pure. Vague talk like that is ok. Mentioning past viewing of pornography to a prospective wife in my humble opinion will not have any positive effect (unless she is an exceptionally wise and broad minded individual). Obviously one who is still struggling presently with pornography should be asking advice from mentors if and how to begin shidduchim. @HashemHelpMe
• just to add my 2 cents as someone who's wife got a small idea of what i was doing.. it is VERY traumatic to a woman who sees you and knows you as a very good person and ירא שמים hear that you have done things which are explicitly אסור and not moral, and without having our urge there is no real way they can understand it. And i wuldn't even imagine trying to explain that to a כלה or a future כלה . However obviously best thing is if you have a LOR who knows you well and knows you're struggles he will best be able to advise you if/what you should say.It may be important to have something prepared as if you get married and do need internet (or may apply for shopping or vacations) you should be able to say I can't do this....even if others do these things @דרך ישר

Does it get better after marriage?

• Post by @Shnitzel & Kugel
• Post by @wilnevergiveup