Coping Statements

Coping / Mastery Statements

This strategy is really simple, it involves telling yourself that you can handle the urge without acting on it. Here are some examples of coping statements:

• "Even though it sucks that I have to deal with X problem, [porn] isn’t going to help me.” (This instead of thinking, “I deserve [porn] because I have to deal with X problem,” — SMART Handbook
• "I can do it". —Hester & Miller p. 228
• “Yes, I can.” (Remind yourself in no uncertain terms that you have resisted successfully many times before. Affirm your resilience.)  —Changeology

Here's another bunch from A Workbook for Overcoming Addictions (Horvath):

• This craving will go away in a while if I don’t act on it. If I do act on it, it will return shortly, and probably be even stronger than this one.
• If I don't act on it, this craving will go away, and eventually all of them will go away or become so small as not to be a bother.
• The craving itself won't hurt me.
• It's normal to have a craving for now, because I just began changing. In time they will be gone.
• This craving can’t force me to do anything, I’m the one in control.

You can also come up with your own...

• This is only a nisayon, I can handle it.
• Hashem knows I can handle this urge. It's hard but I can do it.
• I've handled many urges already -- I'm __ days clean on the 90 day chart! I can do this!
• This urge is super uncomfortable, but it's not unbearable. I'm not gonna die from it. It will soon go away... and I'll feel great about myself for resisting.
• Let me just focus on today. I can stay clean one day / hour / minute / at a time.

How to use this technique: Choose or compose a statement based on the ideas above and tell it to yourself next time you have urge. You can memorize it, or write down somewhere and keep it handy.