Exploring Your Values
The first exercise is called “exploring your values”. The purpose here to see how your current behavior is impacting your life -- either your personal relationships or your work. One definition of values is that they are a person's principles or standards of behavior; one's judgment of what is important in life.
Step 1: Make a list of all the things that are important to you.
What do you feel are the most significant things needed for you to have a successful life? What do you care about most?
Here are a bunch of options that you can pick from. You can also write your own.
Family, Financial security, Purpose in life, Harmony, Responsibility, Love, Yiddishkeit, Wisdom, Humility, Honesty, Serenity, Spirituality, Integrity, Trust, Health, Independence
Step 2: After you make your list, choose 5 you feel are the most important.
Step 3: Then ask yourself, does your current behavior enhance or help these values or does it go against them, or is it irrelevant? If it goes against them, how does it interfere?
| What I value the most? | How does my current behavior interfere? |
|---|---|
| Hashem / My Yiddishkeit |
|
| Good Marriage |
|
| My Kids |
|
| Parnasah |
|
| Learning Torah |
|
Full list of values
Acceptance, Achievement, Accomplishment*, Admiration,* Adventure*, Athletic*, Art[istic], Authority, Accuracy, Adventure, Ambition*, Attractiveness, Autonomy, Beauty, Belonging, Caring, Chinuch, Comfort, Compassion, Compromise, Conscientious*, Cooperation, Challenge, Change*, Creativity*, Commitment, Complexity, Contribution, Courage, Courtesy, Curiosity, Creativity, Diligence, Ecology, Faithfulness , Dependability, Dignity*, Duty, Excitement, Faith, Fame, Family, Fitness, Flexibility, Forgiveness, Freedom , Friendship, Fun, Generosity, Genuineness, Good Parent*, Genuineness*, Gratitude, Growth, Halacha / Hashem’s[1] Will, Health, Helper*, Home*, Honesty, Hope, Humility, Humor, Imagination, Independence, Industry, Inner Peace, Intelligence, Justice, Knowledge* Leader[ship], Loved, Intimacy, Knowledge, Learning*, Leisure, Loving, Loyalty*, Mastery, Mindfulness, Moderation, Music, Novelty, Money, Monogamy, Non-conformity, Nurturance, Order, Openness, Passion, Perfection*, Pleasure, Power, Proud*, Protect, Purpose, Patriotism, Popularity, Practicality, Provide, Rationality, Realism, Reputation, Respect*, Responsibility, Risk, Role Model, Romance, Safety, Security*, Self-Acceptance, Self-Control, Self-Esteem, Service, Sexuality, Success*, Solitude, Stability, Strong*, Tradition, Wealth, Simplicity, Spirituality, Tolerance, Virtue, Wisdom,* World Peace, Yiddishkeit.
In SMART Recovery
SMART Recovery has a simplified version of this tool:
- Take a few minutes or so and write down a list of things that are important to you. (There is no list of suggestions.)
- From the list above, look through and choose those that you consider to be your “Top Five”… the five things you consider to be the MOST IMPORTANT to you (in no particular order).
- Notice that your drug of choice isn't on your list!
See HOV (Hierarchy of Values Worksheet) Worksheet on SMART Recovery
The SMART Recovery Handbook also has a follow up exercise with a few questions:
- What do I want for my future?
- What am I currently doing to achieve that?
- How do I feel about what I’m currently doing?
- What could I do differently to achieve the future I want?
- How would changing what I do or getting what I want make me feel?
Other Worksheets
- Values discussion cards. Has great questions to help you figure out what your values are.
- Values Clarification. A tool where you can choose and rate which values are important to you.
- Exploring Values. A nice worksheet that helps you identify your values by asking you to list your mother's values, father's values, values of person your respect etc.