Find the Fox

DISARM is an imagery technique to deal with urges that can help externalize an urge. This technique is included in SMART Recovery.

Dr. A Thomas Horvath, former president of SMART Recovery, describes the idea as follows:

Use imagery of fighting back (personify the craving). You can image that the craving is some type of enemy or misleading person who has now set upon you: an attacking warrior, a slick salesperson, a lying lobbyist, the devil, an animal, a monster, or any other image that has meaning to you. In imagination, fight back using means that are appropriate in your image (if it is a warrior you similar weapons to defeat the warrior, if it a salesperson, be assertive).

Here's how it is described in the SMART Recovery Handbook:

In the same way that your addictive behavior is only a behavior and not “you,” an urge is merely a feeling or an impulse you experience, not the essence of you.

Some people find it helps to cope with their urges if they give them a name, as if the urges were another being or something outside themselves. Give your urge and its voice a name that describes what it feels like when theurge comes on. SMART participants have used names like, “The Inner Brat,” “The Lobbyist,” “The Whiner,” and simply, “The Enemy.”

(If you picture your addiction as something or someone out to get you, how would you see it? (e.g. a wild animal, a devil, a smooth talking liar, etc.)

Naming your urge may help you recognize it sooner. When you hear the first whispers of its voice, address it by name, and firmly refuse it. Tell it to get lost or that it’s no longer welcome; laugh at it. Then visualize it getting smaller and weaker, and disappearing.

Personifying your urge helps in two ways: It serves as a reminder that you are not your behavior; it defines something that, until now, may have felt amorphous and shadowy. It puts you in a power position over the urge and your addictive behavior.

SMART Recovery Handbook

DISARMING the ‘Salesman’

The SMART Recovery Toolbox describes this technique as a way to "Defeat the Addiction Salesman in Your Head".

It is a game you can play with yourself, which might help you to:

• Identify the specific thoughts which, if followed, would lead to using when you have already decided that, in the long term, this choice is not for you, and

• Steadfastly refuse to go along with this thinking no matter how attractive it might seem. Instead of talking yourself into lapsing you can develop powerful countering and coping statements. To do this, it may help to invent and personify an ‘enemy’ who lives in your mind, and whose only purpose is to get you to use. The ‘salesman’ (your alter ego) knows you well, and can change form to take advantage of your weakest moments. Name your salesman (e.g. gangster, enemy, diplomat, weasel, etc.). When urges come, ask yourself, ‘What is she/he telling me now? How is she/he trying to trick me.

When thoughts are identified:

1. Without debate, ATTACK the salesman with powerful counter statements: ‘Nice try, jerk. You can’t fool me!’ You can be as aggressive or profane as your nature allows with the salesman—after all, s/he is trying to screw up your life.
2. Then quickly FOCUS on some other thoughts, images, or activities which are consistent with what you want in the long run and inconsistent with what the salesman is saying. The salesman then loses his power and fades away.

Later on, you can submit the salesman’s tricks to an ABC analysis in order to dispute them. You usually discover irrational themes and patterns in the thoughts and arguments the salesman throws at you. While coping statements alone will often work, it is important not to omit disputing. If your coping statements aren’t working, it is because you don’t believe them as strongly as you believe your salesman’s pitch. Through disputing we can develop powerful coping statements for use in the future.

In a video about DISARM of Checkup & Choices Dr. William Campbell adds that this strategy can be used anytime you start "imagining situations in which you drink or use", "seeing yourself drinking or using", "thinking about what it would feel like to use" or "anything you might say to convince yourself to drink or use or different excuses you might tell yourself why it would be alright to give in to the urge". He adds:

In DISARM, you see the urge as a person or type of person you really don’t like. It may be an annoying, pushy salesman, a spoiled 2-year old having a tantrum or some person from your past that you really didn’t get along with.

You imagine the urge as this person telling you something you really don’t want to do. You treat the urge as you would that person.

Let’s say you go with the annoying, pushy salesman. Would it help to reason or argue with this person? No. Anything you say to a pushy salesman is just going to get you deeper into his pitch. He doesn’t really care about you. He’s trying to sell you something you don’t want, don’t need and can’t afford. You just want to get away, and he just keeps pressuring. What do you do? You say no! Get away from me! I’m sick and tired of you! Then you turn your back on the urge and walk off. Maybe you’d like to imagine slamming the door on his face. Do it! You don’t want this urge to get its foot in the door.

Whatever image you choose, make sure it’s something or someone you really don’t like and practice even when you’re not feeling the urge. Imagine the detailed scenario of confronting and rejecting the person. That way you’ll be good and ready when the urge does strike.

Peter W. Soderman suggests:

You can call it [the addictive voice] anything you like; I only suggest that the name you give it should reflect the way in which it appears to you. Some call it “The Enemy,” or “The Terrorist.” Whatever name you decide upon, it should be personally meaningful. Once you name it, you can literally tell it to go to hell. Remember, it is a part of you that is trying to kill you — nothing less. A voice that tells you that you can get away with using “just once” is not trying to do you any favors, is it? Telling you that you “need it” is just plain wrong; you know better.

Similar Techniques

The Beast

Rational Recovery's Addictive Voice Recognition Technique, or AVRT, has some similarities to DISARM.

The metaphor in AVRT is that of a beast:

Your AV [Addictive Voice] is the expression of your appetite or your desire for alcohol or drugs. That appetite originates in the biological, animal side of human nature, so we call it the Beast.

It's like there are two of you, at cross purposes, in conflict. In mortal combat.

Your Beast is ruthless. It cares for nothing you love. It wants only one thing. The high.

It cannot tolerate for you to see it. It fears being seen for what it is: a rogue, animal desire. It knows that you can kill it -- once you see it...

The Beast is a master of disguise. It seems to be you! But it is only an appetite for alcohol or drugs. You are not an appetite...

You can say: "I am not my body! I am not an animal being! I am the owner of my body! I am the master of my body! I am a human being!"

Humans dominate beasts within or without...

Ray Gun Imagery

"Imagine a ray gun. Visualize your craving as a robot or a monster. Then atomize it with your weapon. Imagine the robot or monster disintegrating, its pieces spraying all over the surrounding space, until it no longer has any substance. Or imagine the craving as an alien space ship that you’re shooting at in a computer game with the same result." Peele, Stanton. Recover!: Stop Thinking Like an Addict and Reclaim Your Life with The PERFECT Program

Samurai image

"Another related imagery technique is the Samurai image. The client is instructed to visualize the urge as an externalized “enemy” or threat to one’s life. As soon as the Samurai warrior (the client) recognizes the presence of the urge, it is disposed of immediately with an active response (e.g., “beheaded with the sword of awareness”). The client as Samurai is warned that urges may assume a variety of “disguises” to avoid being detected. Although some urges may be easy to detect and deal with since they are externally visible (e.g., an open pack of cigarettes on a table), others may be more subtle and disguise themselves as an internal voice or prompter that seems to come from within (e.g., having a thought such as “I could really use a drink at a time like this”). These “internalized” urges are more difficult to deal with, since the Samurai must first externalize them in order to reveal their true identity. The more “macho” clients may wish to visualize cutting a notch in their belt for each vanquished urge." Allan Marlatt, Relapse Prevention p. 241-2.

Red-X

Some people use the ‘Red X’ technique: "I totally stopped fantasizing about porn about four weeks ago. Whenever a porn flashback enters my mind I visualize a big red X over it and imagine a loud ambulance siren. If the porn image is insistent, I visualize exploding it in my head. The key is to do it immediately. The technique becomes more automatic with time. If you don’t know what else to do, wait and do nothing. Think to yourself, ‘Here are cravings. They came out of nowhere and they have no real power over me. I am not my thoughts; I did not summon them; I do not want them; and I do not have to act on them.’ Typically, the thought will vanish without a trace (for a time). All urges die down, usually within quarter of an hour.". Wilson, Gary. Your Brain on Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction

The PIG

"Monique was particularly taken by the urge-surfing technique of seeing through the “PIG.”

The pig is a greedy, impulsive animal with a ravenous appetite; it stands for the “Problem of Immediate Gratification.” The pig shows up, grunting “I’m starving. I’m craving. Feed me now.” If you respond by giving the pig what it demands, it gets bigger and stronger. It begins to control you. When your pig says, “Give me, give me, give me now,” talk to it. Relax, observe, become mindful. Remain in control. [...] Those of you who are having difficulty with the more abstract image of surfing the urge might prefer visualizing a loud, disgusting PIG demanding to be fed. See it rummaging; hear it grunting; smell its stench. That vivid image can help you experience the urge as something external and alien, something you can observe curiously rather than fight."

John C. Norcross, Changeology

My Friend Arnie

Here is an imagery technique presented by a member of SMART Recovery Lakewood:

I used to take urges way too seriously. I thought it is my duty to get rid of them, if I don't want to act out.

Now I've labeled my urges "Arnie". Arnie is my friend.

He comes into my head, he shares a lot of different things and he has a lot to say. When Arnie comes to visit and starts telling me things, I think to myself "That's just what Arnie does. He comes into my head, He tells me all kinds of things. But I already made up my mind in the past that I'm not going back there." I did the previous tools from my recovery, such as Hierarchy of Values, Cost Benefit Analysis. And I made a Change Plan Worksheet. I made up my mind that I am not going there and I do have control.

I don't think of Arnie as scary, I don't need to fight him. He can talk as much as he wants, I just don't need to listen. When I treat urges like Arnie, he's not really powerful. There's nothing really to him. Suddenly the intensity of Arnie starts to lessen.

Arnie used to be the scariest thing in my life. Now only is the one of my best friends. And for some reason, once I became friends with him, he doesn't visit as often as in the past. But even when he does, he is nowhere near as scary as he used to be.

Note: This idea is a blend between DISARM & Urge Surfing.

The Parasite

I try to picture the yetzer hora as a small parasite. A little fat creature sitting outside my brain clinging to me as parasites do. (It has to be a small creature not a huge overpowering monster which could feel like you're battling an overwhelming being that you have no strength for.)

Now this tiny little creature is holding the image in question and trying to push it to the forefront of my brain.

There is absolutely no need to accept his suggestion. He wants this one image to block every other thought and emotion from reaching the forefront of my brain and that is something I'm not willing to allow so easily. I value my independence and want to be able to have every thought of mine to be able to be heard.

So I have to picture Him holding this image and trying to push it to the front. Once you really see this with a completely clear mind and you have no desire to fantasize about this image, it's laughable! He's not giving up, He's still standing there, this tiny creature holding a picture much larger than himself, already blown up to magical proportion, red and sweaty, pushing the picture with all his little might while I'm watching and having a laugh!

Hannibal

Hashem gave you a partner, your own personal Defensive trainer, a.k.a. the yetzer Hara. I call him Hannibal. You should come up with your own nickname.

Hannibal Barca was a military genius who gained victory after victory against the mighty Roman Empire. He studied his adversaries and knew his enemies before engaging them. He made good use of terrain and laid ambushes. Above everything else, his strategic tactics won battles. This guy is the Einstein of military warfare.

Hannibal is the toughest trainer, custom designed for just you.

Trust me you’ll hate him at first, and give him a terrible nickname. You might!!  Once you start pick up on his style, you’ll feel he’s trying to overcome you, daily, with small action by small action, trying to get you into habits and overtake you, ultimately practically own you. Ever hear of death by a thousand paper cuts? Feels like he’s trying to crush your soul spirit?

In truth he’s working for your owner and as your personal trainer he’s tasked with making you stronger, to compete and to WIN!

• See more on this technique in Play the Yetzer Hara’s game and Win!

Other Metaphor Ideas

• The Spider: Imagine the urge as a spider that just landed on you from the ceiling. Then see yourself shaking it off and flattening it with your shoe. Or how about a flying Cockroach, as Chazal say that the Yetzer Hara is both a מנוול and a זבוב. #Editor
• An ugly animal like a Naked Mole Rat, Blobfish or maybe a squirrel. נפש הבהמית #Editor
• Slimy, or "King Slimy", as it says in Seforim that the Yetzer appears to us as a manipulative friend. #Editor

Key Points

• Identify - Label the urge as something (persona, type of person / creature) that you despise:
  • Annoying Salesman
  • Terrorist
  • Gangster
  • A Iranian Diplomat
  • A PIG
• Attack - Imagine that person trying to convince you to do something that you're not interesting in doing. Treat the urge the same way you would treat that person. Don't try to reason or debate. Just talk with assertive powerful language ("I didn't invite you, get out of here"), and get rid of him (or destroy it if it's an object). E.g. imagine kicking him out and slamming the door shut.
• Focus on something else. Maybe something that will give you real true satisfaction.

Torah Sources

Metaphors and language

• ריש לקיש אמר: אין אדם עובר עבירה אא"כ נכנס בו רוח שטות, שנא': איש איש כי תשטה אשתו, תשטה כתיב (מסכת סוטה ג, א)
• מלך זקן וכסיל - זה יצר הרע - "The old foolish king" (Koheles 4:13) refers to the Yetzer Hara (Midrash Raba on the Pasuk).
• אם פגע בך מנוול זה משכהו לבית המדרש - If this wretched one encounters you, pull it into the Beis Hamidrash. (Kiddushin 30b)
• אמר רב: יצר הרע דומה לזבוב ויושב בין שני מפתחי הלב - Rav said: The evil inclination is like a fly and it sits between the two entrances of the heart, as it is stated: “Dead flies make the ointment of the perfumer fetid and putrid” (brachos 61a). Ready to swat the fly?
• אמר ר"ל הוא שטן הוא יצר הרע הוא מלאך המות - Reish Lakish says: Satan, the evil inclination, and the Angel of Death are one (Baba Basra 16a).
• הנפש הבהמית היא הנפש המתאוה המאכל והמשתה והמשגל והשינה והכעס, בה ישתתף האדם עם הבהמות והחיות - The animal soul is the soul which desires food, drink, sex, sleep and anger. It's what a human has in common with animals. (Rabbeinu Bechayei 2:7).
• וגם ירעים עליה בקול רעש ורוגז להשפילה כמאמר רז"ל (ברכות ה, א) לעולם ירגיז אדם יצ"ט על יצה"ר שנאמר רגזו וגו' דהיינו לרגוז על נפש הבהמית שהיא יצרו הרע בקול רעש ורוגז במחשבתו לומר לו אתה רע ורשע ומשוקץ ומתועב ומנוול וכו' ככל השמות שקראו לו חכמינו ז"ל באמת :תניא ליקוטי אמרים פרק כט (See there for the full context, it's a bit different.)

The Yetzer Hara as a manipulator

• רש"י בראשית פרשת תולדות פרק כו: עשו היה נמשל לחזיר, שנאמר (תהלים פ יד) יכרסמנה חזיר מיער, החזיר הזה כשהוא שוכב פושט טלפיו לומר ראו שאני טהור, כך אלו [אלופי עשו] גוזלים וחומסים ומראים עצמם כשרים.
• שבת דף קה עמוד ב: רבי שמעון בן אלעזר אומר משום חילפא בר אגרא, שאמר משום רבי יוחנן בן נורי: המקרע בגדיו בחמתו, והמשבר כליו בחמתו, והמפזר מעותיו בחמתו - יהא בעיניך כעובד עבודה זרה; שכך אומנתו של יצר הרע, היום אומר לו עשה כך ולמחר אומר לו עשה כך. עד שאומר לו עבוד עבודה זרה והולך ועובד. ע"כ. דהיינו שהיום אומר לו יצרו שבר את כליך וקרע כסותך ולמחר הוא אומר לו לך ועבוד ע"ז (אבות דרבי נתן פ"ד). וכן הוא בנדה יג, ב: אמר רב: המקשה עצמו לדעת יהא בנדוי, ולימא אסור! דקמגרי יצה"ר אנפשיה. ורבי אמי אמר: נקרא עבריין, שכך אומנתו של יצר הרע, היום אומר לו עשה כך, ולמחר אומר לו עשה כך, ולמחר אומר לו לך עבוד עבודת כוכבים - והולך ועובד.
• המגיד מקלם ניהל כל ימיו מלחמה עזה נגד יצר הרע. הכיר את המנוול הזה ומשכהו לבית המדרש והוקיע את תחבולותיו ושקריו הוא. מבאר את המאמר התלמודי "טוב מאד זה יצר הרע" כי יצר הרע מתלבש באצטלא של ירא שמים והוא מפתה את האדם לרדוף את חברו מפני שהוא מזלזל במצוות ומסביר לו כי זוהי מצוה. היצר הרע מתחכם ללכוד ברשתו גם את הצדיק שיעשה מעשים טובים בשביל הכבוד שיגיע אליו מזה. (המגיד מקלם עמ' קעט)
• לפעמים מתעטף היצה"ר באצטלא של קדושה - א זיידענע זשופיצע - סרטוק של משי. (תורת מנחם חי"ט בשם הרש"ב מליובאוויטש). ושם פתגם בשם זקני החסידים: וואס מיינסטו? עשו איז געגאנגען ארומגערינגלט מיט א הארטע שטריק? ער איז געגאנגן מיט א זיידענע זשופיצע... ואעפ"כ הולך לקראתך וארבע מאות איש עמו.

Short term vs. Long Term

• ירושלמי שבת פרק יד ה"ג: א"ר אבון והסיר ה' ממך כל חולי זה יצר הרע שראשו מתוק וסופו מר. וראה גם פסחים לט,א למה נמשלו מצריים כמרור לומר לך מה מרור זה שתחילתו רך וסופו קשה אף מצריים כו'. ובחתם סופר מרור גי' מות הוא המלאך המות נקרא חזרת חזיר מיער שתחלתו מתוק בשעה שמפתה לאדם וממתיק לו תאות העה"ז וסופו מר עולה ומקטרג ויורד ונוטל נשמה.
• משלי ה, ג-ד: כי נפת תטפנה שפתי זרה וחלק משמן חכה. ואחריתה מרה כלענה חדה כחרב פיו. ובאלשיך שם: הנה בנמשל משל פרשה זו נגד עיננו ב' דרכים. א, ההולך קדמת איסור מועצות יועץ בליעל הוא שטן הוא יצר הרע, אשר בא יבא ברנה להבכותנו באחרונה, בנעתרות נשיקות משנאה מסותרת נופת תטופנה שפתותיו כמבקש אהבה, ולא משתבש מאן דתני ליבה, ע"כ המשילה שלמה בחכמתו לאשה זרה שאמריה החליקה, וילמדנו דעת נשמר פן ואל נפתה אחריה, כי אחריתה מרה כלענה, וגם כי תבא ברנה בעבור הרינה מרה תהיה באחרונה:
• See also Cost Benefit Analysis

<divlang="he" dir="rtl">ועל דא כתיב (בראשית א לא) והנה טוב מאד, והנה טוב דא מלאך חיים, מאד דא מלאך המות, דאיהו ודאי טוב מאד למאן דאצית פקודין דמאריה. ותא חזי, אי לא יהא האי מקטרגא, לא ירתון צדיקיא הני גנזיא עלאין דזמינין לירתא לעלמא דאתי". וראה תניא פ"ט: אך נפש הבהמית שמהקליפה רצונה להפך ממש, לטובת האדם שיתגבר עליה וינצחנה, כמשל הזונה שבזוהר הקדוש.

If you describe a person as slimy, you mean that the person appears to be friendly but cannot be trusted and is not sincere: He was really a slimy character. Cambridge Dictionary