Reasons for Change

Note: Some spelling errors have been fixed.

13-14

I don't want to be addicted

• I don't want to be the kind of person who is addicted to bad things.
• I feel enslaved to it, and i feel like i have no hope
• I want to break free cause i don't want to be trapped in this torturous cycle of looking at porn and masturbating
• I also feel awful about it after I see it and I don't want my life dictated by it, I want to live a beautiful and free life away from it all
• I want to prevent it from becoming a full on addiction

It's not an acceptable behavior

• I can't live with the fact that everyone thinks that what I do is bad, even if they don't know that I do it.
• I know that a yeshiva bochur shouldn't be watching this
• I know it is bad

It's not me

• I'm good bachur for everything other than this
• I want to break away from porn because that's not the person I am or want to be

It makes me feel guilty

• Although I don't keep every mitzvah, I try, and I don't feel good about doing aveiros.
• I feel it is conflicting my beliefs
• Im scared of punishment
• it's an aveirah
• bittul tora
• They make me feel bad after doing it. Hshem doesn't like it and I LOVE hashem and want to be clean in his eyes. But I feel dirty after doing it.
• I know what all the seforim say about this...
• want to be close to Hashem, and feel the kedusha I used to.
• I want to stop myself from doing this terrible aveira.
• I want to be clean
• It's against Halachah - I want to have a relationship with my wife and G-D I don't want to have all the "side effects of doing it". I feel terrible after I do it.
• It's huge aveira, it infects the mind. It makes u feel guilty which lessens self confidence.

I want a clear mind

• I want to stop I want to be a person with a clear mind ,make it easier to focus on learning and be able to look at the world with a cleaner, healthier view
• It ruins my davening and learning and I daven every day for help
• I want to daven and learn the way I used to/should

It makes me feel like crap

• I just want to stop... i simply hate it with all my might. It gets me into a bad mood where i just think to myself you are the biggest idiot why the hell did you just do that.

Other Negative Effects

• It makes me lethargic, and takes up my time.

• it wastes my time
• I also know that it affects my health.
• I realized that it only is leading me to trouble
• I want to improve my self-esteem

I'm afraid someone will find out

• I don't want it to continue and then someone finds out about it

It hurts my spiritual growth

• I want to become a Ben Torah and this is one of the only problems I struggle with in terms of Yiddishkeit. This problem is really bothering me because i know its assur but it is really hard to stop. And it is preventing me from growing in my Torah and my Avodas Hashem

Makes me feel insincere

• I feel insincere when I pray and practice mitzvos because of that.

16 - 17 Years Old

• I want to quit because its not a good thing and I don't want it. It's going to run after me a whole day and it bothers me. It doesn't pay for me. And because it's not allowed.
• I WANT TO GET ALL THIS OUT OF MY HEAD, SO I CAN FOCUS ON SHTEIGING HIGHER!!!!!
• It is a distraction
• It is a waste of time
• G-D does not want me to do those things
• I try to help others with this problem and I feel like a hypocrite.
• I'm a good bochur and im already struggling for about a year and I feel so far from hashem. I feel I wanna get closer to hashem.
• I wanna stop because watching born causes me to waste seed every day.
• Because of this, when I go on the street and I see a girl my mind goes straight to that.
• Watching porn makes me crazy. I can't concentrate on anything. It makes me waste seed everyday. When I go on the street and I see a girl my mind goes crazy. My dream is to get out of it.
• I can't learn. When that comes into my mind it doesn't go away. It makes me crazy.
• It's not who I am and I feel awful when messing up and it's not gods will and I don't want this to be me.

• Because after all I want to get married and have talmidei chachmim kids.
• Because I want a connection to Hashem, I want to do His ratzon and learn Torah bekedusha.
• I don't want to feel like I'm living a double life- I want to be in control. I know that it's the wrong thing and I just want to stop.
• After every time that I give into my yetzer hara I feel like an idiot.
• I come from a really frum background and I am descended from some really holy people so I am actually really embarrassed about what I am doing.
• I know it is completely wrong. I just wanna be a good orthodox Jew.
• Because i know its not good
• The kitzur shulchan aruch lists it as the worst sin. It is horrifying and depressing. It makes me so distant from ruchnius.
• It is damaging physically.
• It makes me unable to face my yeshiva friends. It is disgusting. I want to be pure.
• I feel disgusting and very low and down about it
• I AM READY TO CONQUER MY YETZER HORAH!!!
• The reason I want to do this is that it disturbs my concentration on much more important matters on Torah and studies.
• Also, watching the porn makes me feel sick to the stomach and makes want to beat myself after I peel my eyes away from seeing it.
• Because it's a very big aveirah
• I also feel like it will effect my ability to be a good husband
• I have a massive feeling of guilt after every time I do it
• I want to be clear minded from all of these horrible things online and try to learn as much as i could.
• I truly love learning torah and this is a big thing that holds me back. These horrible things come to my mind during tefillah and sometimes my learning which is a big distraction.

• The after feeling is disgusting loose tons of energy and I know it's morally incorrect and I want to be careful with smirass einayim
• no one wants to be addicted to anything
• I want to to be the best yid I can be. I want to be a tahor yid!!!!!
• Because its assur and causes damage to my neshama
• I want to be zocheh to a beautiful family of bnei torah.
• Inherently, and deep down (very deep down) I know it’s the wrong thing.
• I would like to have a strong and lasting marriage . I’ve read some stories on your site about men becoming inhumane due to their addiction and I’m extremely scared of becoming that and causing my spouse so much pain.
• The life a have been living until now is a double life, on one side a shtark guy in a shtark yeshiveh on the other somebody who cant control himself from looking at shmutz and frequently masturbates.
• It's something that makes me angry and depressed all the time
• It takes me away from my learning
• I want to trust myself that when I'm on my own I won't fall to do bad things.
• I really want to be pure and I always feel bad afterwards.
• I really want to be able to control myself
• The obvious one is there is absolutely no benefit besides immediate satisfaction which then comes all the downsides of 1) time wasted 2) bad thoughts when instead I could be thinking about good intentions and helping people 3) Not only is it all fake but it is a completely inside out way of looking at relationships and how you should treat each other. and lots of other downsides.
• I want to come out of High School ready to be in a relationship and it is very unhealthy to have this habit.
• I want to be able to focus on my learning in kedusha
• I want to quit because i am in yeshiva and its really getting in the way of me shtieging and that really bothers me cause i want to be close to hashem
• I believe that it is wrong for several reasons. firstly it is using G-ds body that he gave me for the wrong purposes. Secondly it is a waste of resources both spiritually and physically.
• I don't want to be the kind of guy that has his dirty secrets behind peoples backs about how he can't control himself when alone. It is not a life quality or habit that I want. I want to be able to be in control over my own body.
• If I stop, I can have more time and concentration for other things such as learning, building talents and spending time with fam.

18-20 Years Old

• I can't continue to play a double game. During the day I learn torah, but at night I can resist to watch porn and masturbate. (2 times a week).

Self Development

I'd like to become the man I want to be

Costs of Stopping

• I have such a feeling of relaxation and a release of all my stress. I do not know how I am going to function without that feeling.