Reasons for Change

Note: Some spelling errors have been fixed.

See also

• Pornography Use Effects
• Why not to watch porn - a Torah view

13-14

I don't want to be addicted

• I don't want to be the kind of person who is addicted to bad things.
• I feel enslaved to it, and i feel like i have no hope
• I want to break free cause i don't want to be trapped in this torturous cycle of looking at porn and masturbating
• I also feel awful about it after I see it and I don't want my life dictated by it, I want to live a beautiful and free life away from it all
• I want to prevent it from becoming a full on addiction

It's not an acceptable behavior

• I can't live with the fact that everyone thinks that what I do is bad, even if they don't know that I do it.
• I know that a yeshiva bochur shouldn't be watching this
• I know it is bad

It's not me

• I'm good bachur for everything other than this
• I want to break away from porn because that's not the person I am or want to be

It makes me feel guilty

• Although I don't keep every mitzvah, I try, and I don't feel good about doing aveiros.
• I feel it is conflicting my beliefs
• Im scared of punishment
• it's an aveirah
• bittul tora
• They make me feel bad after doing it. Hshem doesn't like it and I LOVE hashem and want to be clean in his eyes. But I feel dirty after doing it.
• I know what all the seforim say about this...
• want to be close to Hashem, and feel the kedusha I used to.
• I want to stop myself from doing this terrible aveira.
• I want to be clean
• It's against Halachah - I want to have a relationship with my wife and G-D I don't want to have all the "side effects of doing it". I feel terrible after I do it.
• It's huge aveira, it infects the mind. It makes u feel guilty which lessens self confidence.

I want a clear mind

• I want to stop I want to be a person with a clear mind ,make it easier to focus on learning and be able to look at the world with a cleaner, healthier view
• It ruins my davening and learning and I daven every day for help
• I want to daven and learn the way I used to/should

It makes me feel like crap

• I just want to stop... i simply hate it with all my might. It gets me into a bad mood where i just think to myself you are the biggest idiot why the hell did you just do that.

Other Negative Effects

• It makes me lethargic, and takes up my time.

• it wastes my time
• I also know that it affects my health.
• I realized that it only is leading me to trouble
• I want to improve my self-esteem

I'm afraid someone will find out

• I don't want it to continue and then someone finds out about it

It hurts my spiritual growth

• I want to become a Ben Torah and this is one of the only problems I struggle with in terms of Yiddishkeit. This problem is really bothering me because i know its assur but it is really hard to stop. And it is preventing me from growing in my Torah and my Avodas Hashem

Makes me feel insincere

• I feel insincere when I pray and practice mitzvos because of that.

16 - 17 Years Old

• I want to quit because its not a good thing and I don't want it. It's going to run after me a whole day and it bothers me. It doesn't pay for me. And because it's not allowed.
• I WANT TO GET ALL THIS OUT OF MY HEAD, SO I CAN FOCUS ON SHTEIGING HIGHER!!!!!
• It is a distraction
• It is a waste of time
• G-D does not want me to do those things
• I try to help others with this problem and I feel like a hypocrite.
• I'm a good bochur and im already struggling for about a year and I feel so far from hashem. I feel I wanna get closer to hashem.
• I wanna stop because watching born causes me to waste seed every day.
• Because of this, when I go on the street and I see a girl my mind goes straight to that.
• Watching porn makes me crazy. I can't concentrate on anything. It makes me waste seed everyday. When I go on the street and I see a girl my mind goes crazy. My dream is to get out of it.
• I can't learn. When that comes into my mind it doesn't go away. It makes me crazy.
• It's not who I am and I feel awful when messing up and it's not gods will and I don't want this to be me.

• Because after all I want to get married and have talmidei chachmim kids.
• Because I want a connection to Hashem, I want to do His ratzon and learn Torah bekedusha.
• I don't want to feel like I'm living a double life- I want to be in control. I know that it's the wrong thing and I just want to stop.
• After every time that I give into my yetzer hara I feel like an idiot.
• I come from a really frum background and I am descended from some really holy people so I am actually really embarrassed about what I am doing.
• I know it is completely wrong. I just wanna be a good orthodox Jew.
• Because i know its not good
• The kitzur shulchan aruch lists it as the worst sin. It is horrifying and depressing. It makes me so distant from ruchnius.
• It is damaging physically.
• It makes me unable to face my yeshiva friends. It is disgusting. I want to be pure.
• I feel disgusting and very low and down about it
• I AM READY TO CONQUER MY YETZER HORAH!!!
• The reason I want to do this is that it disturbs my concentration on much more important matters on Torah and studies.
• Also, watching the porn makes me feel sick to the stomach and makes want to beat myself after I peel my eyes away from seeing it.
• Because it's a very big aveirah
• I also feel like it will effect my ability to be a good husband
• I have a massive feeling of guilt after every time I do it
• I want to be clear minded from all of these horrible things online and try to learn as much as i could.
• I truly love learning torah and this is a big thing that holds me back. These horrible things come to my mind during tefillah and sometimes my learning which is a big distraction.

• The after feeling is disgusting loose tons of energy and I know it's morally incorrect and I want to be careful with smirass einayim
• no one wants to be addicted to anything
• I want to to be the best yid I can be. I want to be a tahor yid!!!!!
• Because its assur and causes damage to my neshama
• I want to be zocheh to a beautiful family of bnei torah.
• Inherently, and deep down (very deep down) I know it’s the wrong thing.
• I would like to have a strong and lasting marriage . I’ve read some stories on your site about men becoming inhumane due to their addiction and I’m extremely scared of becoming that and causing my spouse so much pain.
• The life a have been living until now is a double life, on one side a shtark guy in a shtark yeshiveh on the other somebody who cant control himself from looking at shmutz and frequently masturbates.
• It's something that makes me angry and depressed all the time
• It takes me away from my learning
• I want to trust myself that when I'm on my own I won't fall to do bad things.
• I really want to be pure and I always feel bad afterwards.
• I really want to be able to control myself
• The obvious one is there is absolutely no benefit besides immediate satisfaction which then comes all the downsides of 1) time wasted 2) bad thoughts when instead I could be thinking about good intentions and helping people 3) Not only is it all fake but it is a completely inside out way of looking at relationships and how you should treat each other. and lots of other downsides.
• I want to come out of High School ready to be in a relationship and it is very unhealthy to have this habit.
• I want to be able to focus on my learning in kedusha
• I want to quit because i am in yeshiva and its really getting in the way of me shtieging and that really bothers me cause i want to be close to hashem.
• I want to stop because I believe this is the one l thing/main reason that is holding me back from learning and coming close to Torah. I am about to finish high school and start Yeshivah and I would like to have a whole and complete focus on learning.

Costs of Stopping

• I have such a feeling of relaxation and a release of all my stress. I do not know how I am going to function without that feeling.

18-20 Years Old

• I can't continue to play a double game. During the day I learn torah, but at night I can resist to watch porn and masturbate. (2 times a week).
• I believe that it is wrong for several reasons. firstly it is using G-ds body that he gave me for the wrong purposes. Secondly it is a waste of resources both spiritually and physically.
• I don't want to be the kind of guy that has his dirty secrets behind peoples backs about how he can't control himself when alone. It is not a life quality or habit that I want. I want to be able to be in control over my own body.
• If I stop, I can have more time and concentration for other things such as learning, building talents and spending time with fam.
• Because I am a really religious Jew besides for this one issue, and I feel like I am a fake from person simply because I do this one sin.
• As I get closer to marriage age I am scared that pornography will kill any future relationship I could have. I just want to be a good, healthy Jew who leads a proper, frum family.
• I want to be able to learn with out images popping in my head and O want to pray without images popping in my head
• I want to grow and become amazing and inspire people and start doing kiruv and I cant do anything with this problem
• Because I am a Jew and I don't want to to do what Hashem dosen't want
• It brings me down and i feel depressed after
• I'm embarrassed of myself and i really want to stop
• I want to be honest. I can't pretend to be something I am not. The faking makes me feel like, well, a faker. I want to be tocho ke'baro, and be completely honest and straight forward with who I am.
• It makes me angry with myself.
• It strains my relationship with Hashem. When one consistently does something his friend doesn't like, his friend will leave. I know Hashem will never leave me, but I want to be close.
• I want to actually love. I constantly doubt weather I love my friends for real, or maybe I am just attracted to them. I think I really do love them, I don't think about them in a sexual manner, but some of them are good looking. Porn irons that "loving" because of looks into me. Similar to the above reason, do not want my love to be based off of such meaningless things, such as looks and body shape (or really even popularity or things like that). I want to see the endless good in my fellow yidden.
• It sounds abstract, but I just want to be pure. I don't want to read goyish books, listen to bad music, see bad things, or think bad thoughts. I want to be an emesdig pure person, full of Ahavas Hashem and Ahavas Yisroel. I want to sit with Hashem, and I want to help my friends. I need to. I need to love Hashem always, and I need to love my friends always. Porn distracts and corrupts. I have to stop.
• Many times I use it as a distraction when things get rough. It doesn't help. It makes things worse. It wastes time and energy, and I never feel good afterwards. It makes me a less productive person.
• I can't give in to base desires. If I do what is to stop me from other ones. If my actions are based off of straight lust/emotion against my better judgement, what is to stop me from going farther (not that this isn't bad enough)? What is to stop me from getting angry?
• I will never be able to be married like this. At least not in good conscience.
• Hashem hates arayot and this is a form of arayot
• I feel horrible after doing it
• It’s such a waste of time
• It’s harder to learn/prey after I do it
• The taavah gets me in the most random ways and the most random times I just hate it so much
• It's getting me really worried for when i will get married, I'm worried about my future
• I want to stop because I am a strong believer in the Torah and in God.
• My values are much higher than this and every time I do it, I regret it instantly.
• I am exhausted with this and I can’t take it anymore, yet I still do it.
• I want to have the willpower to stop and be dominant to my urges instead of my urges dominating me. Also this affects other aspects of life. I feel like if I can permanently quite than I will be able to have the willpower to be dominant over many other bad urges and not only this one.
• I also know it’s a huge sin and costs me a lot - yet with all this - I still can’t quite and every time I have an urge it’s very hard to stop.
• This also effects my Torah learning and growing spiritually and I am devastated that I am doing this.
• It ruins my mind my decisions and the way I interact socially
• It’s very unhealthy
• It makes me feel guilty and when the urge comes I keep on telling myself it’s worth the pleasure but it’s not!
• Because I am trying to become a better yid in every aspect and this one of the things that are holding me the most in my avodah. it is difficult to learn, pray even the day after.
• Because I want to get over the addiction as early as possible before marriage and I know that it is a very bad thing to be doing as a jew
• I want a good husband without any of these problems effecting me
• I'd like to become the man I want to be
• I want to have a happy marriage and I’m very aware that if I don’t try break these addictions now, the ramifications can be very destructive.
• I understand the result of indulging in pornography and I want to stop all the results that come from that.
• They don't fit into the image of the person I want to be and what G-d wants me to be.
• I value having a pure mind, and I find that when I'm consistently guarding my eyes I feel better, and closer to G-d.
• I value consistency as well, and its incredibly inconsistent to, on the one hand openly follow the Torah, and on the other hand, do something that goes completely against its values.
• I want to quit because it will be better for my spiritual and emotional health, and for my future marriage.
• I want to work on my behavior in this area so that it's more in line with my values as an Orthodox Jew.
• I know the what I do is wrong and I want to do whats right and it's pulling me down and bringing me further away from HKBH. I want to come close to Hashem, and to whatever I can to climb higher levels in Yiddishkeit.
• Im coming of marriageable age I don't want this to be an issue or I want it to be under control in order that I can be happy in my marriage.
• I want to stop this sin due to the fact that it hurts my Neshama very much, and Hashem does not want me to do this, but I want to dedicate my life to the service of Hashem and to fulfill his Mitzvos as much as possible
• I’m trying to be a serious Ben Torah, and I feel that these behaviors are not who I am.
• I am serious about learning, but I feel like these behaviors are weighing me down from unlocking my potential in Torah and Avodas Hashem."
• in short its not what i want in my in my life it distracts me from goal of becoming a true ben torah
• Watching porn affects my davening and learning, and makes me feel guilty every time
• I want to stop because I’m just not happy with who I am currently as a person. I know it’s wrong and not it’s holding me back from growing as person.
• I really want to completely break free because i know its wrong and its not the way i want to live and it just make you feel depressed
• I feel like I've hit a point where I don't care anymore about it and I really want to be a yeshiva bachur who is sensitive to this stuff again and bring back my sensitivity and not feel like I'm living a lie.
• There are many things accomplished, but this, the thing I struggle with I have not yet been able to accomplish.
• Honestly quite aside from the halachic aspect it doesn't seem emotionally healthy and I'm about to start shidduchim and it doesn't seem fair to start if I'm not clean.
• I'm unhappy about it
• I feel like a slave
• I want to be successful in my learning
• I want to taste the sweetness of my learning and spirituality and will never get it if I continue
• I hate it so much and not enjoyable and always regret it
• It is all fake, I want to just wait for my wife like a normal person
• I'm physically damaging myself every day
• It's not fun at all
• I want to be free and happy
• I don't want to end up like those on the street and if I continue anymore- I will... That's where chas veshalom it will take me.
• I want to love and enjoy this world in the Torah proper way and have a beautiful family and wife and love so much Torah and mitsvot and be happy and continue to grow and become not only a talmid chacham but a gadol batorah and really taste the sweetness in my learning, I want to do what I came in this world to do and prepare for eternity.
• I want to be a Kula kadosh vetahor and have purity and want the Torah to be mekadesh me inside and out.
• I can't accomplish and continue goals in learning etc... if I continue- simple as that
• It is so important and so grave my actions and it makes huge effects around me and in shamayim and there is huge punishments for it.
• Hashem is giving me health and everything I have, hashem is so so good to me and I spit in his face over and over again by wasting seed.
• It's a animalistic behavior, I'm human!
• Because I feel like a two faced person the one I'm am looking to be a good person, but on the other hand I'm struggling with this problem and I am tired of playing both actors.
• I am worried in regard to raising a family with such issues
• I want to stop because I’m afraid of hell. I’m scared of Hashem and his punishment.
• It’s not who I am to let out sperm and look at naked woman
• My friends view me as more religious than they are so it only hurts me more mentally when I masturbate .My family thinks that I’m super religious and such a tzadik they don’t know what I really do behind this scenes. The same hitter for my friends.
• I want to save releasing sperm for my wife.
• I am a bachur in yeshiva, and this kind of private life contradicts the public figure i am, and that people know me as.
• Its the wrong thing to do, and I feel guilty after every time I do it. I only come about doing it cause i say this time it wont happen, or, ill just look for the beginning.
• I want to live a proper Torahdige life and not go against Ratzon Hashem.
• Improper images, improper stories, and Pgam Brit are great ways to distract one from Torah and a life of Yirat Shamayim.
• These behaviors glorify thing that are physical and draw me away from holiness and purity. Doing these things violates Gd's commands to me. Due to these reasons, doing these things reduces my self esteem, meaning that I am less able to serve Gd and learn Torah, and causes me to be less productive in general.
• Doing these things takes time out of my life that I could be using constructively.
• Doing these things negatively changes the way in which I relate to women and may cause problems finding spouse and in a relationship.
• I want to be able to quit because I want to be able to form strong relationships with my future wife and family, all people, and Hashem. I also want to learn Torah to the best of my ability.
• The obsessive behavior isn't good for anyone, I want to be in control of MY body.
• I never feel good after!
• As an Eved Hashem, its always within my Avoda to fight.
• I've been though a lot, and my life goal is to be a husband and a father (the best!!). Working on this Meeda of Yesod is crucial to master before I can really start anything serious.
• The Torah prohibits me from doing such acts.
• I see people in their high forties who are struggling with these issues and I see how it’s ruining their life’s and marriages.
• I see that if I want to have a good accomplished life I can’t continue following this terrible desire which controls you.
• Even thought I have this problem only once in a while for a few days, it kills those few days and gets me angry at myself. I've had his problem for a few years already in and out. So I think it’s time it comes to an end.
• This has been a struggle for more than 5 years and I have decided that it is enough and time to break free.
• I want to quit because I am a good frum yeshiva bochur who shouldn't be doing these things.
• I hope to get married in the not too distant future and have kids and don't want to be struggling with these things then. I want to be there just for my wife.
• Hashkafically it is the wrong thing. I believe in the torah and Hashem and want to do the right thing which isn't these things.
• I also want to do the right thing and feel that these aveiros distract and pull me back from my personal growth, geshmak in learning and success in learning and if I realise these issues will not go away by itself.
• I want to strive for Kedusha.
• I want to get honest with myself
• Halacha is an absolute binding system that I (try to) submit myself to completely. I believe in it with much passion and how man's emotions and desires play no role in what the Halacha is, and this activity in particular is my biggest struggle aligning myself with HaShem's Hashkafos.
• I want to have a healthy marriage one day IYH! I fear every day the later in life this lingers and closer to shidduchim I get, I will have major issues with shidduchim or my marriage chas veshalom.
• I'm a full time yeshiva bochur, I learn 10-12 hours a day, I plan to be in learning for years. But how could I be such a hypocrite as to learn shtark during the day and be such a major Choteh at night?
• It affects my learning! It makes it hard to focus if I have these images in my head! And if I don't get proper sleep because I'm doing something I shouldn't late at night, it affects me the whole next day!
• At it's worst, it can affect all of my yidishkeit. How horrible I feel waking up in the morning and how much more difficult it is to get out of bed for shacharis with the feeling that HaShem doesn't want to hear from me right now.
• I want to be able to control my life. It’s very difficult to focus on anything else that I can control when I have this part of me that I can’t control.
• This is a health issue, that alone is enough for me to stay away.
• I don’t want to have a continued addiction of something that is unhealthy for me. Much like one needs to quit smoking, I need to quit this addiction.
• It will ruin the Shalom bayis I hope to have in my home one day
• It is a terrible aveirah to commit and I need to stop
• Life is a never ending battle with the yetzer hara and I need to win.
• My Goal is to break free from both porn and masturbation. I want to be an ish koidesh, I want to have a very special and beautiful marriage iyh and clear my head from this reoccurring tomah and downfalls.
• I have tried many times before and many different methods to break through these addictions but have always fallen. I want to stop this addiction, this illness, this demon.
• I know it’s ossor and the ribono shel oilam does not want me to do this, he gives me so much I want to be makir tov not to upset him and betray him like this. All of chazal talk about this and it hurts me every time because I feel I want to stop and I will stop and then I fall again.
• I know it’s messing my brain up, filling my brain up with so many hormones and killing my reward centre. Making me numb, giving me unreal expectations. Distorting my pleasure gauge, setting the bar so high that I have to go to extreme disgusting places to get the same kick, again and again. I need to change this, I can’t let it carry on. It’s so self destructive, I’m shooting my self with no one helping me do so.
• I want to iyh have a beautiful and special marriage, I want my wife to me my only, But if I’m addicted to watching chreft on the internet she won’t be. I don’t want to go into the marriage with expectations or fantasies, I want it to be special and kodosh. I definitely do not want chas vesholom to find my wife unattractive or ‘she doesn’t do it for me any more’ because I’m so sick in the head and have completely shocked my brain of what reality is compared to expectations. I want to be a good husband iyh and kodosh.
• I don’t want to objectify women, I don’t want to see them as a vehicle for pleasure, I don’t do this all the time, but there Is always an underlying thing that lies there when I speak to woman, or worse than that I just see a girl and my head goes to bad places because I’ve hard wired it that way due to all it’s been exposed to. I want to destroy this, get rid of it. I want to see everyone in a natural, good and normal light, with no motives.
• Also I want to stop for medical reasons, I know it can’t be good for me all this and I don’t know now what damage it’s causing but I know it is destructive for my body. Chas vashlom if I get so desensitized that certain bodily functions stop working.
• I know it’s bad, as every time I do the act I feel horrible after. It’s a feeling of the lowest pits, he sunken and stuck in a dark place.
• It is a health issue, that alone is enough for me to stay away. Overeating, smoking, drugs. B”h. I’ve been on the better part of the spectrum for those. Never did any of them. But this I can't control.

Benefits of Stopping

• By stopping I will be free to truly connect to Ruchnuyos and will overall feel successful ( relationships with friends, feeling confident , and feeling close to Hashem with a strong foundation of emunah)

Costs of Stopping

• I really find it hard to stay clean I get aroused by small things because I use masturbation as an escape route from anger anxiety and frustration.