Countering Self-Talk - Revision history

Wikiadmin: /* Variations */

2022-02-03T17:58:07Z

Variations

Wikiadmin: /* Description */

2020-12-26T18:59:26Z

Description

Wikiadmin at 18:30, 26 December 2020

2020-12-26T18:30:23Z

Wikiadmin at 13:32, 25 December 2020

2020-12-25T13:32:18Z

Wikiadmin at 14:46, 14 December 2020

2020-12-14T14:46:09Z

Wikiadmin at 15:43, 8 December 2020

2020-12-08T15:43:33Z

Wikiadmin at 01:41, 8 December 2020

2020-12-08T01:41:07Z

Wikiadmin at 00:18, 8 December 2020

2020-12-08T00:18:18Z

Wikiadmin: Wikiadmin moved page Dispute to Countering Self-Talk

2020-12-08T00:17:02Z

Wikiadmin moved page Dispute to Countering Self-Talk

Wikiadmin: Created page with "Dispute irrational beliefs (DIBs p. 46,) and obsessive thoughts, or do an ABC. (page 39). ''SMART Handbook p. 36, Part of DEADS.'' Freeing yourself from rigid behavior patter..."

2020-12-08T00:16:50Z

Created page with "Dispute irrational beliefs (DIBs p. 46,) and obsessive thoughts, or do an ABC. (page 39). ''SMART Handbook p. 36, Part of DEADS.'' Freeing yourself from rigid behavior patter..."

New page

Dispute irrational beliefs (DIBs p. 46,) and obsessive thoughts, or do an ABC. (page 39). ''SMART Handbook p. 36, Part of DEADS.''

Freeing yourself from rigid behavior patterns often requires that you also free yourself from rigid thought patterns. Just as exercise substitutes healthy for unhealthy behavior, counterthinking replaces troubled thoughts with more positive ones. Successful self-changers often rely on counterthinking more than on relaxation because this technique is quick, covert, and takes relatively little energy. It can be used under almost all the conditions that trigger problem behaviors. ''Prochaska, James O.. Changing for Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward (p. 180). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition''.

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:58, 3 February 2022
Line 63:		Line 63:
	* '''הרב יצחק דוד גרונר היה שליחו של הרבי למלבורן, אוסטרליה.''' הוא הגיע פעם לביקור אצל הרבי בניו יורק. לפני שחזר לאוסטרליה נכנס לקבל את ברכת הפרידה. שאל אותו הרבי: - מה תעשה בזמן הנסיעה באונייה? הוא לא ידע מה לענות. והרבי המשיך: - כשאתה חוזר באנייה דרך כל האוקיינוס עד לאוסטרליה, קח בבקשה את כל המחשבות שלך על כך שאתה "לא יכול" "לא מסוגל" ו"לא מצליח"; את כל המחשבות שמכניסות לך עצבות ואי-הצלחה ותזרוק אותן לאוקיינוס. זאת העבודה שלך לנסיעה הזאת! (מפי השמועה)		* '''הרב יצחק דוד גרונר היה שליחו של הרבי למלבורן, אוסטרליה.''' הוא הגיע פעם לביקור אצל הרבי בניו יורק. לפני שחזר לאוסטרליה נכנס לקבל את ברכת הפרידה. שאל אותו הרבי: - מה תעשה בזמן הנסיעה באונייה? הוא לא ידע מה לענות. והרבי המשיך: - כשאתה חוזר באנייה דרך כל האוקיינוס עד לאוסטרליה, קח בבקשה את כל המחשבות שלך על כך שאתה "לא יכול" "לא מסוגל" ו"לא מצליח"; את כל המחשבות שמכניסות לך עצבות ואי-הצלחה ותזרוק אותן לאוקיינוס. זאת העבודה שלך לנסיעה הזאת! (מפי השמועה)

		+	== From GYE Members ==
		+	n my experience, due to very intense and frequent masturbation, i had come to a "belief" that one must ejaculate to live. Just like one cannot live without eating and drinking and sleeping, one must have a sexual experience to survive. It became a need. What i did not realize, unfortunately, for many years, was that what i actually needed was an ability to relieve anxiety. Like so many other guys here, i was using my penis as my pacifier. If i was stressed - fantasize and masturbate, if i was feeling rejected - fantasize and masturbate, if i was bored and irritable - fantasize and masturbate. I had no other way to regulate my emotions. And it didn't even help much! It caused me such aggravation, depression, and anxiety that i would - guess what? Fantasize and masturbate again....and again....
		+
		+	After joining GYE and getting a lot of help and education here - thank you to many guys, specifically one_day_at_a_time, i finally was able to realize that there is never a need to ejaculate. It is an achizas einayim. One may have an underlying need of some sort, and could be acting out would relieve him, but the script can be changed. It used to be "I am stressed so i will act out". Now it is "I am stressed and it would be geshmak to act out, but there are other eitzos".
		+
		+	All i can say is that this mehalech has helped very many guys get completely clean, including bochurim (who do not have any other sexual outlet) that were heavy pornography viewers/masturbators/and worse rach"l that are Bh now clean for over a year....
	[[Category:Urge Management Strategies]]		[[Category:Urge Management Strategies]]

@@ Line 22: / Line 22: @@
 . Use self-talk constructively to challenge that statement. An effective challenge will make you feel better (less tense, anxious, panicky) even though it may not make the feelings disappear entirely. The most effective challenges are ones that are tailored to your specific upsetting self-statements. Listed below are some stock challenges that people find useful:
-''What is the evidence''? What is the evidence that if you don’t have a drink in the next 10 minutes, you will die? Has anyone (who has been detoxed) ever died from not drinking? What’s the evidence that people who are recovering from an alcohol problem don’t experience the feelings that you have? What is the evidence that there is something the matter with you, that you will never improve?
+* ''What is the evidence''? What is the evidence that if you don’t have a drink in the next 10 minutes, you will die? Has anyone (who has been detoxed) ever died from not drinking? What’s the evidence that people who are recovering from an alcohol problem don’t experience the feelings that you have? What is the evidence that there is something the matter with you, that you will never improve?
-''What is so awful about that?'' What’s so awful about feeling bad? Of course you can survive it. Who said that sobriety would be easy? What’s so terrible about experiencing an urge? If you hang in there, you will feel fine. These urges are ''not'' like being hungry or thirsty or needing to relieve yourself—they are more like a craving for food or an urge to talk to a particular person—they pass, in time.
+* ''What is so awful about that?'' What’s so awful about feeling bad? Of course you can survive it. Who said that sobriety would be easy? What’s so terrible about experiencing an urge? If you hang in there, you will feel fine. These urges are ''not'' like being hungry or thirsty or needing to relieve yourself—they are more like a craving for food or an urge to talk to a particular person—they pass, in time.
-''You are a regular human being and have a right to make mistakes''. Maybe you worry about being irritable, preoccupied, or hard to get along with. What’s so bad about that? We all make mistakes, and in a situation that is complicated, there is no right or perfect way to get along. Our most memorable lessons, invariably, are learned in the school of hard knocks. It’s a school that every single one of us attends throughout life.
+* ''You are a regular human being and have a right to make mistakes''. Maybe you worry about being irritable, preoccupied, or hard to get along with. What’s so bad about that? We all make mistakes, and in a situation that is complicated, there is no right or perfect way to get along. Our most memorable lessons, invariably, are learned in the school of hard knocks. It’s a school that every single one of us attends throughout life.
-Some of the substitute thoughts or self-statements will only be necessary or helpful initially, as ways of distracting yourself from persistent urges; you’ll have an easier time if you replace the uncomfortable thoughts with other activities. After a while, sobriety will feel less unnatural; many of the urges will diminish and drop out, and you won’t need constant replacements.</blockquote>
+Some of the substitute thoughts or self-statements will only be necessary or helpful initially, as ways of distracting yourself from persistent urges; you’ll have an easier time if you replace the uncomfortable thoughts with other activities. After a while, sobriety will feel less unnatural; many of the urges will diminish and drop out, and you won’t need constant replacements.
 == Variations ==

@@ Line 6: / Line 6: @@
 * Do you keep giving yourself an excuse like ‘I will do it one last time’ or ‘Today is the last time’? Change it to ‘Just today I am not doing it’. ''Wilson, Gary. Your Brain on Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction (Kindle Locations 3197-3199). Commonwealth Publishing. Kindle Edition.''
 * Knock it off. Interrupt the thought process and challenge it vigorously. When you whine, “I neeeeeeed it!,” '''dispute that nonsense'''. When you begin to believe a want is a must, forcibly tell yourself that you’re not a five-year-old without free will or self-discipline. When my patients try to convince me that they are helpless, I ask simply, “Could you have resisted for a thousand dollars?” Ninety-nine percent of the time, they reply, “Of course.” That proves they possess the skills to do so. Set your mind straight. ''Changeology p. 162.''
 == Variations ==

@@ Line 33: / Line 33: @@
 * Easier with Time: Low
 * Editors choice: No
 [[Category:Urge Management Strategies]]

@@ Line 5: / Line 5: @@
 * Substitute positive messages: Urges often come in the form of self-talk that gives you permission to drink. Like: "I'll just sip on one; that's not really drinking," or "I'll be drinking again in a few weeks anyway—why not now?" When this kind of idea comes up, spot it for what it is and substitute a more rational thought for it. Such as: "Not drinking at this time is key to my plan," or "Each time I refuse a drink, I get stronger." Also, you can talk directly back to the urge. Say, "Get out of here—I'm not drinking tonight," or whatever. This will help mobilize your resolve on the issue. / ''Moderation Management p. 60. Idea #2 for confronting your urges.''
 * Do you keep giving yourself an excuse like ‘I will do it one last time’ or ‘Today is the last time’? Change it to ‘Just today I am not doing it’. ''Wilson, Gary. Your Brain on Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction (Kindle Locations 3197-3199). Commonwealth Publishing. Kindle Edition.''
-* Knock it off. Interrupt the thought process and challenge it vigorously. When you whine, “I neeeeeeed it!,” dispute that nonsense. When you begin to believe a want is a must, forcibly tell yourself that you’re not a five-year-old without free will or self-discipline. When my patients try to convince me that they are helpless, I ask simply, “Could you have resisted for a thousand dollars?” Ninety-nine percent of the time, they reply, “Of course.” That proves they possess the skills to do so. Set your mind straight. ''Changeology p. 162.''
+* Knock it off. Interrupt the thought process and challenge it vigorously. When you whine, “I neeeeeeed it!,” '''dispute that nonsense'''. When you begin to believe a want is a must, forcibly tell yourself that you’re not a five-year-old without free will or self-discipline. When my patients try to convince me that they are helpless, I ask simply, “Could you have resisted for a thousand dollars?” Ninety-nine percent of the time, they reply, “Of course.” That proves they possess the skills to do so. Set your mind straight. ''Changeology p. 162.''
 == Variations ==

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:43, 8 December 2020
Line 21:		Line 21:

	Note: This can then be followed by distraction, [[connection]], urge surfing etc.		Note: This can then be followed by distraction, [[connection]], urge surfing etc.
		+
		+	== Specs ==
		+
		+	* Learning Curve: Easy
		+	* Practice: None
		+	* Urge Strength: Weak / Medium
		+	* Customization: What statement will you use
		+	* Materials: None
		+	* Type: "Face It"
		+	* Brain Effect: Low
		+	* Easier with Time: Low
		+	* Editors choice: No
		+
	[[Category:Urge Management Strategies]]		[[Category:Urge Management Strategies]]

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:41, 8 December 2020
Line 7:		Line 7:
	* Knock it off. Interrupt the thought process and challenge it vigorously. When you whine, “I neeeeeeed it!,” dispute that nonsense. When you begin to believe a want is a must, forcibly tell yourself that you’re not a five-year-old without free will or self-discipline. When my patients try to convince me that they are helpless, I ask simply, “Could you have resisted for a thousand dollars?” Ninety-nine percent of the time, they reply, “Of course.” That proves they possess the skills to do so. Set your mind straight. ''Changeology p. 162.''		* Knock it off. Interrupt the thought process and challenge it vigorously. When you whine, “I neeeeeeed it!,” dispute that nonsense. When you begin to believe a want is a must, forcibly tell yourself that you’re not a five-year-old without free will or self-discipline. When my patients try to convince me that they are helpless, I ask simply, “Could you have resisted for a thousand dollars?” Ninety-nine percent of the time, they reply, “Of course.” That proves they possess the skills to do so. Set your mind straight. ''Changeology p. 162.''

		+	== Variations ==
		+	Another way of doing this is by asking questions. Ask yourself:
		+	*Is this what I want to do?
		+	*Where did this urge come from?
		+	*What’s going on right now that triggered the urge? Is it what’s going on around me? Is something bothering me?
		+	*Am I just acting on impulse?
		+	*Do I have to act immediately?
		+	*Am I seeing the complete picture?
		+	*Is drinking right now in line with my long-term goals?
		+	*Do I want to deal with the consequences?
		+	*What are my options?
		+	Source: SMART Online.
		+
		+	Note: This can then be followed by distraction, [[connection]], urge surfing etc.
	[[Category:Urge Management Strategies]]		[[Category:Urge Management Strategies]]

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:18, 8 December 2020
Line 1:		Line 1:
−	~~Dispute irrational beliefs (DIBs p. 46,) and obsessive thoughts, or do an ABC. (page 39). ''SMART Handbook p. 36, Part of DEADS.''~~	+	== References ==

−	Freeing yourself from rigid behavior patterns often requires that you also free yourself from rigid thought patterns. Just as exercise substitutes healthy for unhealthy behavior, counterthinking replaces troubled thoughts with more positive ones. Successful self-changers often rely on counterthinking more than on relaxation because this technique is quick, covert, and takes relatively little energy. It can be used under almost all the conditions that trigger problem behaviors. ''Prochaska, James O.. Changing for Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward (p. 180). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition''.	+	* Dispute irrational beliefs (DIBs p. 46,) and obsessive thoughts, or do an ABC. (page 39). ''SMART Handbook p. 36, Part of DEADS.''
		+	* Freeing yourself from rigid behavior patterns often requires that you also free yourself from rigid thought patterns. Just as exercise substitutes healthy for unhealthy behavior, counterthinking replaces troubled thoughts with more positive ones. Successful self-changers often rely on counterthinking more than on relaxation because this technique is quick, covert, and takes relatively little energy. It can be used under almost all the conditions that trigger problem behaviors. ''Prochaska, James O.. Changing for Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward (p. 180). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition''.
		+	* Substitute positive messages: Urges often come in the form of self-talk that gives you permission to drink. Like: "I'll just sip on one; that's not really drinking," or "I'll be drinking again in a few weeks anyway—why not now?" When this kind of idea comes up, spot it for what it is and substitute a more rational thought for it. Such as: "Not drinking at this time is key to my plan," or "Each time I refuse a drink, I get stronger." Also, you can talk directly back to the urge. Say, "Get out of here—I'm not drinking tonight," or whatever. This will help mobilize your resolve on the issue. / ''Moderation Management p. 60. Idea #2 for confronting your urges.''
		+	* Do you keep giving yourself an excuse like ‘I will do it one last time’ or ‘Today is the last time’? Change it to ‘Just today I am not doing it’. ''Wilson, Gary. Your Brain on Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction (Kindle Locations 3197-3199). Commonwealth Publishing. Kindle Edition.''
		+	* Knock it off. Interrupt the thought process and challenge it vigorously. When you whine, “I neeeeeeed it!,” dispute that nonsense. When you begin to believe a want is a must, forcibly tell yourself that you’re not a five-year-old without free will or self-discipline. When my patients try to convince me that they are helpless, I ask simply, “Could you have resisted for a thousand dollars?” Ninety-nine percent of the time, they reply, “Of course.” That proves they possess the skills to do so. Set your mind straight. ''Changeology p. 162.''
		+
		+	[[Category:Urge Management Strategies]]

← Older revision	Revision as of 00:17, 8 December 2020
(No difference)