Debunking Myths - Revision history

Wikiadmin at 19:29, 22 January 2022

2022-01-22T19:29:59Z

Wikiadmin at 22:31, 29 June 2021

2021-06-29T22:31:24Z

Wikiadmin at 10:59, 14 January 2021

2021-01-14T10:59:42Z

Wikiadmin: /* Myth: My struggle proves that I am a loser */

2020-12-07T16:23:35Z

Myth: My struggle proves that I am a loser

Wikiadmin: /* Myth: My struggle proves that I am a loser */

2020-12-03T16:13:33Z

Myth: My struggle proves that I am a loser

Wikiadmin: /* Myth: My struggle proves that I am a loser */

2020-12-02T02:15:07Z

Myth: My struggle proves that I am a loser

Wikiadmin at 21:38, 1 December 2020

2020-12-01T21:38:39Z

Wikiadmin at 18:57, 1 December 2020

2020-12-01T18:57:18Z

Wikiadmin at 18:51, 1 December 2020

2020-12-01T18:51:55Z

Wikiadmin: /* Myth: My struggle proves that I am a loser */

2020-12-01T11:38:37Z

Myth: My struggle proves that I am a loser

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 * I used to think back when I was regularly mzl [masturbating] that it would be impossible for me to stop completely and that I will necessarily fall even if try to stop. And that's exactly what happened. Every time. Until I found GYE. I learned something important - I was capable of restraint. Masturbation was NOT something that I needed to be happy. In fact, I found myself feeling happier, more satisfied and more fulfilled without it.” @Ftndrug
 * “I’ve masturbated compulsively for years and years, and now I’m clean for an entire year! There really is no need. There's a very strong urge, but there's no need to masturbate. I just needed to make a very deep decision in my heart and mind, that I really don't need it. I may slip once in a while, but it's not anymore like "I'm anyway going to fall, so why am I controlling myself today? I'm going to fall tomorrow or the next day". @HashemHelpMe (scroll down to "From GYE Members" to find out more).
 References: There is a great article about this in ''Toates, Frederick. How Sexual Desire Works (p. 95). Cambridge University Press. Kindle Edition.''  Ch. 4. - ''Four An incentive-based model''.

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:31, 29 June 2021
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	See also [[Beliefs about Urges]].		See also [[Beliefs about Urges]].
		+
		+	== Research ==
		+	Rationale: Consciousness raising involves increasing knowledge about oneself and the nature of the problem behavior. This session introduces clients to current research in the addiction field and raises their awareness about advances in the field and hopeful prospects for recovery. When clients talk about how they see themselves in light of new information—and how it differs from their current view—they are using the change process of self-reevaluation. ''Velasquez, Mary M. Group Treatment for Substance Abuse, Second Edition. P/C/P Session 2''
		+
		+	Self-efficacy to quit the addiction seems to be relevant only insofar as a modest amount of it is needed so that the individual avoids becoming discouraged about the possibility of change and giving up even on the contemplation of change. ''DiClemente, C. C. (2018). Addiction and change : how addictions develop and addicted people recover (Second Ed). Guilford Substance Abuse.''
		+
		+	Another reason for the length of the Action period is that it takes time to recover from the neurobiological and neurocognitive effects of the addiction on the brain. ''DiClemente, C. C. (2018). Addiction and change: how addictions develop and addicted people recover (Second Edi). Guilford Substance Abuse.'' See also ''Taite, Richard. Ending Addiction for Good: The Groundbreaking, Holistic, Evidence-Based Way to Transform Your Life (p. 74). Wheatmark, Inc.. Kindle Edition,'' and ''The Yes Brain by Daniel J. Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson on Blinkist.''

	== Myth: My struggle proves that I am a loser ==		== Myth: My struggle proves that I am a loser ==

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 * I used to think back when I was regularly mzl [masturbating] that it would be impossible for me to stop completely and that I will necessarily fall even if try to stop. And that's exactly what happened. Every time. Until I found GYE. I learned something important - I was capable of restraint. Masturbation was NOT something that I needed to be happy. In fact, I found myself feeling happier, more satisfied and more fulfilled without it.” @Ftndrug
 * “I’ve masturbated compulsively for years and years, and now I’m clean for an entire year! There really is no need. There's a very strong urge, but there's no need to masturbate. I just needed to make a very deep decision in my heart and mind, that I really don't need it. I may slip once in a while, but it's not anymore like "I'm anyway going to fall, so why am I controlling myself today? I'm going to fall tomorrow or the next day". @HashemHelpMe (scroll down to "From GYE Members" to find out more).
 == [For singles] Myth: My porn problem will go away after marriage ==

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 Feeling positive about yourself is the best ''shmirah'' from ''aveira''<ref>See [[Despair]].</ref> and is the best motivator for future growth. The better you feel about yourself, the more energy and desire you'll have to strive higher.<ref name=":0" /><ref>See also [[Despair]]. And see Chazon Ish, Emunah Ubitachon, 4:14: המוסר אומר לאדם אהוב את עצמך ורכוש כבוד, אבל דע לך מה אשרך עלי חלד, ומה כבודך, אין כבוד אלא תורה, אין כבוד אלא ענוה, אין כבוד אלא עזיבת הכבוד, אין אושר רק להשתחרר מנטיות טבעיות, ולהיות נכנע לד' ולתורתו. ע"כ. ובספרי חסידות מבואר הנ"ל באופן אחר קצת.</ref> Remembering that are a diamond will also bring you to try to maintain its beauty by guarding it from contamination, and by trying to add to its beauty by polishing it and doing whatever possible to uncover its luster.<ref>Adapted from Mindfulness: A Jewish a Approach by Dr. Jonathan Feiner.</ref>
 * See [[Hashem's Unconditional Love]]
-* See [[Self Worth]].
+* See [[Self Worth]] (recently updated)
 * See [https://intercom.help/gye-faq/en/articles/4590389-life-skills-self-acceptance-and-compassion Life Skills: Self-Acceptance and Compassion]
 * [[Perspectives on the Struggle|Perspectives on the struggle]]

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 See also [[Tzidkas Hatzadik|צדקת הצדיק]] that you can excel specifically in this area. And see [[כל הגדול מחבירו יצרו גדול הימנו]]. See [[Chabad|Torah Menachem - Yechidus]], "הרי זו מסירות נפש גדולה יותר, מזו שהיתה ליהודים ברוסיה'". עכ"ל.
-Gedolim of our generation, among them Harav Pam זצ"ל, have stated that the world has not sunk this low since Dor HaMabul (Zos Brisi p. 3)</ref> ''—'' the last one before Moshiach<ref>See [[Perspectives on the Struggle]] > The Challenge Before Moshiach.</ref>''.'' Just like Air Force Pilots pilots are adored and respected, Hashem ''adores'' you. You should respect yourself too!<ref name=":0">See Sichos Mussar (Rav Chaim Shmulevitz) Maamor 28 - נכבדות and 55. Zichon Eliyahu (Bloch) p. 322. See Battle of the Generation Ch. 24 how to balance this with humility. </ref>
+Gedolim of our generation, among them Harav Pam זצ"ל, have stated that the world has not sunk this low since Dor HaMabul (Zos Brisi p. 3)</ref> ''—'' the last one before Moshiach<ref>See [[Perspectives on the Struggle]] > The Challenge Before Moshiach.</ref>''.'' Just like Air Force Pilots pilots are adored and respected, Hashem ''adores'' you. You should respect yourself too!<ref name=":0">See [[Self Worth]] </ref>
 Feeling positive about yourself is the best ''shmirah'' from ''aveira''<ref>See [[Despair]].</ref> and is the best motivator for future growth. The better you feel about yourself, the more energy and desire you'll have to strive higher.<ref name=":0" /><ref>See also [[Despair]]. And see Chazon Ish, Emunah Ubitachon, 4:14: המוסר אומר לאדם אהוב את עצמך ורכוש כבוד, אבל דע לך מה אשרך עלי חלד, ומה כבודך, אין כבוד אלא תורה, אין כבוד אלא ענוה, אין כבוד אלא עזיבת הכבוד, אין אושר רק להשתחרר מנטיות טבעיות, ולהיות נכנע לד' ולתורתו. ע"כ. ובספרי חסידות מבואר הנ"ל באופן אחר קצת.</ref> Remembering that are a diamond will also bring you to try to maintain its beauty by guarding it from contamination, and by trying to add to its beauty by polishing it and doing whatever possible to uncover its luster.<ref>Adapted from Mindfulness: A Jewish a Approach by Dr. Jonathan Feiner.</ref>

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 * [[The Torah Approach by Battleworn|The Torah Approach]]
 * [[Heavenly Reward]]
-* Battle of the Generation Ch. 1. See also Ch. 21<ref>That even if the struggle ''is'' your fault, you still get the same sechar.</ref>. Ch. 22<ref>The desire for honor — and caring what others think about us, its common manifestation — is a sublimation of our greatest drive, the desire to reach greatness. We want to be impressed with ourselves and what we have accomplished. • Let’s dream big and act on the inspiration to achieve the greatest experience ever, both in this world and the next.</ref>.
+* Battle of the Generation Ch. 1. See also Ch. 21<ref>That even if the struggle ''is'' your fault, you still get the same sechar.</ref>. Ch. 22<ref>The desire for honor — and caring what others think about us, its common manifestation — is a sublimation of our greatest drive, the desire to reach greatness. We want to be impressed with ourselves and what we have accomplished. • Let’s dream big and act on the inspiration to achieve the greatest experience ever, both in this world and the next.</ref>. Appendix 1.
 Additional points: