Delay - Revision history

Wikiadmin at 16:30, 1 February 2024

2024-02-01T16:30:11Z

2021-01-04T11:44:57Z

2020-12-29T13:30:21Z

2020-12-28T15:32:27Z

2020-12-26T18:51:35Z

2020-12-26T18:42:01Z

2020-12-16T18:23:24Z

Summary by @Howard

2020-12-08T17:59:17Z

Torah Sources

2020-12-08T17:58:47Z

2020-12-08T15:37:39Z

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 * דחהו בלך ושוב לך ושוב אם לא ימה למלאות רצון יצרו ממילא יעזבהו - באר החיים, חג השבועות, לרבי אלימלך בידרמן שליט"א עמ' תנג-ד בארוכה והביא שם כמה מכמה מקורות.
 * יסוד צדיק, מהר"ש מזעווהיל, ואין לשער ולתאר גודל הנח"ר והשמחה שיש למעלה מזה ההרהור הטוב אפי' שזה רק שנהיה ואח"ז נשאר כמו שהיה ואינו עומד בנסיון ח"ו  וגודל ההשפעות הטובות לכל העולמות ולעולם התחתון מזה ההרהור הטוב והטובה לאביו ולאמו  ולכלל ישראל מזה והוא מבקש ממנו רק זאת שיוסיף לזה השני' שהי' לו ההרהור טוב שימשיך את זה לעוד שניה ועוד שניה שלהשי"ת יהי' לו נח"ר שיעשה לו עוד שניה נח"ר הגם שלבסוף אינו עומד בנסיון והבחור הזה נהפך לאיש אחר והקים דורות לתפארת. מאת הרה"צ רבי צבי מאיר זילברברג שליט"א
 == Specs ==

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 === Shut off the device for a bit ===
-Gary Wilson describes this technique with a twist: <blockquote>"When The Urge shows up, and you feel like you have no control, turn off your device and think things through before acting on it. Even if you act on it afterward, you will do so consciously and that is the first step to changing behavior."<ref>''Wilson, Gary. Your Brain on Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction (Kindle Locations 3202-3205). Commonwealth Publishing. Kindle Edition.'' </ref></blockquote>
+Gary Wilson describes this technique with a twist: <blockquote>"When The Urge shows up, and you feel like you have no control, turn off your device and think things through before acting on it. Even if you act on it afterward, you will do so consciously and that is the first step to changing behavior."<ref>''Wilson, Gary. Your Brain on Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction (Kindle Locations 3202-3205). Commonwealth Publishing. Kindle Edition.'' </ref></blockquote>Push it off to the morning. @Florin (it's less likely then...)
 == Notes ==

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 * [https://gyeboost.org/archives/111 The One Gemara You Don't Know] Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier talks about the value of holding back. (emphasizes that מרובה מידה טובה! So for delaying you get tremendous reward even if you end up falling after!). See also https://intercom.help/gye-faq/en/articles/4590406-life-skills-present-focus.
 * דחהו בלך ושוב לך ושוב אם לא ימה למלאות רצון יצרו ממילא יעזבהו - באר החיים, חג השבועות, לרבי אלימלך בידרמן שליט"א עמ' תנג-ד בארוכה והביא שם כמה מכמה מקורות.
 == Specs ==

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:32, 28 December 2020
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	== Research ==		== Research ==
		+	Reference: Delay Discounting in ''Thombs, D. L., & Osborn, C. J. (2019). Introduction to Addictive Behaviors (Fifth Edition). The Guilford Press. p. 152''
		+
	A list of research papers that found this technique effective:		A list of research papers that found this technique effective:

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 SMART Recovery has a spin-off technique called Deny & Delay. Here's how they describe it:<blockquote>Deny & Delay (Don’t give in to the urge) — Remind yourself, repeatedly if necessary, this urge will pass. Refuse to give into it — no matter what! — SMART Handbook</blockquote>This leads to a variation of the delay technique where the goal is to repeatedly delay. I.e. you wait 10 minutes, and then when the 10 minute are up, you push it off for another 10 minutes:<blockquote>You can use various time frames to delay acting out. You could say “I’m going to wait for 10 minutes and then I’ll review where I am at,” then make the same commitment once the 10 minutes are up. Each time you successfully delay, you’re developing control over your behavior  and deconditioning your habit. ''#Howard''</blockquote>See also Positive Vision Day 65.
-Delay decisions to give in to temptation; for example, you could wait 15 minutes. Take several deep breaths. Focus on the fresh air entering your lungs, cleansing and nourishing your body. Let out tension with each exhalation. Steinberg, K. L., Roffman, R. A., Carroll, K. M., McRee, B., Babor, T. F., Miller, M., Kadden, R., Duresky, D., & Stephens, R. (n.d.). Brief Counseling for Marijuana Dependence: A Manual for Treating Adults. [https://store.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/d7/priv/sma15-4211.pdf Form 1A] (p. 91)
+'''Delay & Breath, or Delay + Imagery'''
 == Techniques ==

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:23, 16 December 2020
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	Airplane metaphor: Postponing flight until weather improves.		Airplane metaphor: Postponing flight until weather improves.
		+	----DELAY acting on your temptation. The longer you delay, the better the chances that the desire will fade in intensity, something important for you to experience.
		+
		+	In helping you delay, and distract yourself, it is important to have other activities that will capture your attention and diminish the intensity of the temptation. The list of activities that you can do are endless, but here are a few suggestions.
		+
		+	* Do some physical activity, like going for a walk, or getting on a stationary bike, or some resistance exercises, which in this case have a double meaning – resisting temptation and increasing your strength. In fact, they are increasing your strength to manage temptation.
		+	* Engage in social activity, like calling a friend or family member, or mixing with others in one forum or another.
		+	* Play a favorite game, or an activity that you enjoy and challenges you, e.g. playing a musical instrument.
		+	* Relax and enter a mindfulness state, where you can calm yourself down and assert your control over your feelings.
		+
		+	Exercise: The activities that I will do when faced with temptation are...

	== Torah Sources ==		== Torah Sources ==

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 * דחהו בלך ושוב לך ושוב אם לא ימה למלאות רצון יצרו ממילא יעזבהו - באר החיים, חג השבועות, לרבי אלימלך בידרמן שליט"א עמ' תנג-ד בארוכה והביא שם כמה מכמה מקורות.
-----
+== Specs ==
 [[Category:Urge Management Strategies]]
 <references />