Progressive Tools for Breaking Free - Revision history

Wikiadmin: /* Medication */

2020-11-12T15:56:48Z

Medication

Wikiadmin: /* Internet Filters */

2020-11-10T11:34:22Z

Internet Filters

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Wikiadmin: /* 12-Step Anonymous Phone Conferences */

2020-11-09T11:58:27Z

12-Step Anonymous Phone Conferences

Wikiadmin: /* The "Three-Second Rule” */

2020-11-09T00:51:57Z

The "Three-Second Rule”

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Wikiadmin: /* The Very Last Resort */

2020-11-09T00:44:41Z

The Very Last Resort

Wikiadmin: /* Medication */

2020-11-09T00:43:36Z

Medication

Wikiadmin: /* Helping Others */

2020-11-09T00:40:45Z

Helping Others

Wikiadmin: /* Accountability */

2020-11-09T00:34:51Z

Accountability

Wikiadmin: /* Cutting Down */

2020-11-09T00:34:26Z

Cutting Down

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Wikiadmin: /* Vows */

2020-11-09T00:26:49Z

Vows

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 == Medication ==
-If our therapist determines that our addiction may be connected with underlying causes such as depression, anxiety, obsession, OCD, or even hyper-sexuality (which is a common condition in lust addicts), he may send us to be evaluated by a psychiatrist for medication that can help us significantly in these areas.
+See [[Medication]].
 == Rehab ==

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 == 12-Step Anonymous Phone Conferences ==
-To read more about this, read [[The 12-Step Program]] and the section on that page called Phone Conferences.
+To read more about this, read [[The 12-Step Program]].
 == Live 12-Step Groups ==
-To read more about this, read [[The 12-Step Program]] and the section on that page called Live Groups.
+To read more about this, read [[The 12-Step Program]] and the section on that page called "LIVE 12-Step Groups".
 == Therapy ==

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 To be assessed for this treatment in New York (marketed as Trelstar):
-Dr. Richard B. Krueger, M.D. / Tel: 212-740-7330 / Cell phone: 917-750-1596 Email: [[Mailto:rbk1@columbia.edu|rbk1@columbia.edu]] / Website: www.paraphilias.com
+Dr. Richard B. Krueger, M.D. / Tel: 212-740-7330 / Cell phone: 917-750-1596 Email: rbk1@columbia.edu / Website: www.paraphilias.com
 To be assessed for this treatment in Israel (known as Decapeptyl):
 Prof. Eliezer Witztum / Tel: 02-6734150 / 4 Revadim St., Talpiot, Jerusalem   Prof. Ariel Ressler / Tel: 02-6418033 / Kadish Luz 3/1, Ramat Sharet, Jerusalem

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 == Medication ==
 == Rehab ==
-== The Very Last Resort ==
+Prof. Eliezer Witztum / Tel: 02-6734150 / 4 Revadim St., Talpiot, Jerusalem   Prof. Ariel Ressler / Tel: 02-6418033 / Kadish Luz 3/1, Ramat Sharet, Jerusalem

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 == Helping Others ==
 == 12-Step Anonymous Phone Conferences ==
 == Live 12-Step Groups ==
 == Therapy ==
 == Medication ==

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 == Accountability ==
 The tools we have suggested up until now in this handbook, focus mainly on our own private struggle with the addiction. If we haven't been successful yet with the tools above, it is time to bring the struggle to the next level and introduce ''others'' into the picture. '''We won't go it alone anymore.''' Our own strength has proved insufficient in dealing with our addiction. We need to start exploiting strength from '''outside''' ourselves to help us succeed.
 The Pasuk in Mishlei (18:1) says: '''''"Le'taava yevakesh nifrad''''' - '''''Desire seeks isolation"'''''. Being isolated causes us to go after our ''Taavah'' - our lust. The addiction wants us to withdraw into ourselves and disconnect from life. A partner in this struggle can do wonders in helping us reconnect to the world around us  and ultimately break free. Going into detail with someone else about what we've done, is also known to be one of the best ways to get out the shame, guilt and remorse, and move on.
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 The truth of Rav Yochanan Ben Zakai's blessing is pointedly illustrated by the story of ''Rav Amram Raban Shel Chassidim (Kidushin 81/a)'' that we bring in the second part of this Handbook (principle 2). We may ask, if Rav Amram had so much Fear of Heaven that he was determined enough to call out "Fire!", why couldn't he just have stopped himself? The answer is, that Rav Amram knew that unless other human beings would be introduced into the equation, he was powerless to stop himself from the power of the lust. This amazing story shows   us the '''immense value''' of "human" accountability.
-Is there anyone among us who will say he is stronger than Rav Amram? We are faced with these desires every day, in the privacy of our homes and only a mouse-click away! We '''must''' have accountability to succeed in breaking the addiction. If the fact that Hashem watching him was still too "abstract" to stop  Reb Amram Chasid from the power of lust, it is surely too abstract to stop us
+Is there anyone among us who will say he is stronger than Rav Amram? We are faced with these desires every day, in the privacy of our homes and only a mouse-click away! We '''must''' have accountability to succeed in breaking the addiction. If the fact that Hashem watching him was still too "abstract" to stop  Reb Amram Chasid from the power of lust, it is surely too abstract to stop us when ''we'' are faced with lust. We need someone - in the flesh - who will hear us scream '''''"Fire!"''''' when we feel weak, and someone we can feel accountable to.
 We can try to find a close friend or a Rabbi we respect, to whom we can confide about our struggles. And even more importantly, we need to make sure to keep   ''in touch'' with them about our progress and give them '''honest''' updates every few days. Obviously for this to work properly, we must remain '''completely''' honest   and open with our accountability partners, at all cost. If we fall, the shame we will feel in reporting it will be atonement in itself, as well as providing a strong  incentive to remain clean next time.

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 Here are examples of two vows that we helped someone set up. After making these ''Shvuos'' he testified that he felt a new freedom in his life!
-''1) I swear for one month that if I am intentionally motzi zera livatala while fully awake, or if I intentionally obtain adult sexual material of any sort, digital or  printed (i.e. DVDs or Magazines), or if I intentionally go to - or search for - any websites or web pages, pictures, videos, chats or forums, for the purpose of viewing adult sexual content or messages or facilitations of sexual encounters, or if I initiate contact with - or respond positively to - any woman other than my wife for a sexually related purpose, or if I partake of any illicit sexually  oriented services of any kind, then I will donate $500 to GYE and tell                                                                          (a close friend) what I have done, for each day on which I do any one - or more - of these things. If I forget that I made this Shvuah and do one of these things, I will only donate $100.''
+''1) I swear for one month that if I am intentionally motzi zera livatala while fully awake, or if I intentionally obtain adult sexual material of any sort, digital or  printed (i.e. DVDs or Magazines), or if I intentionally go to - or search for - any websites or web pages, pictures, videos, chats or forums, for the purpose of viewing adult sexual content or messages or facilitations of sexual encounters, or if I initiate contact with - or respond positively to - any woman other than my wife for a sexually related purpose, or if I partake of any illicit sexually  oriented services of any kind, then I will donate $500 to GYE and tell (a close friend) what I have done, for each day on which I do any one - or more - of these things. If I forget that I made this Shvuah and do one of these things, I will only donate $100.''
 ''2) I swear for one month that if I have any sort of sexual encounter with any person besides my wife, then I will donate $2500 to GYE from my next month's salary and I will tell (a close friend) what I have done, for each day on which I do this sin.''