Self Observation

See Setbacks, journaling.

GYE has a 90 Day Chart for tracking successes and setbacks. There is also a personalized printable chart available. It is also a standard feature in Addiction Recovery applications (BrainBuddy, Fortify, Candeo, Hands-Off and dozens of other apps). Tracking can also be done with any habit tracking app, or even with a paper calendar. See below for additional ideas.

Notes: Tracking is only intended to be used a part of a set of additional strategies.

Alternatives

Don't track. See Life Skills: Present Focus for an alternative approach. (Can be useful especially for younger teens, and for people with a low level of struggle. As the benefits of Hesech Hadaas may outweigh the benefits of Tracking). For addicts, see also Don't Count Days below from Dov.

Mark both Successes and Failures. SMART Recovery mentions Journaling, but has an Urge Logging tool instead of a regular tracker - (the Urge Logger also tracks successes).
Mark only successes. "Now you know how the Game works. Wait? How do I IMPROVE MY GAME? Like every Pro-Athlete does– by Viewing Tape!! Everyone needs to have a “Personal Performance Playbook”
- See also below from Windows of the Soul: "Place a “check” for times you were successful in controlling your eyes; place a “minus sign” when you did not exercise control."
(PPP), a page to chart progress and mark daily success and track struggles toward achievement of goals. This could be a hand-made chart like a month to month grid, but without showing actual calendar days (this is important! Because you want to establish a track record) and so we do NOT mark down failures. Of course they will occur – Don’t mark it down, MOVE ON! Check the box if you carried through on some of your goals and circle the check too inside the box if it was a success through a noteworthy challenge or struggle. This is how you identify your patterns so you can strategize. Remember: if you can’t measure it, you can’t manage it!" From Play the Yetzer Hara’s game and Win!

Research

For developing positive habits. Gardner, B., Lally, P., & Wardle, J. (2012). Making health habitual: The psychology of “habit-formation” and general practice. In British Journal of General Practice (Vol. 62, Issue 605, pp. 664–666). Royal College of General Practitioners. https://doi.org/10.3399/bjgp12X659466. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3505409/
Track date, day, time, drink type, amount, Std. Drinks, Where, With Who. Hester & Miller (2003), Handbook of Alcoholism Treatment Approaches, page 155. (in context of BSCT - Behavioral self-control training).
Self-observation is a critical part of self-regulation, as are the personal judgments made about these observations. In fact, self-monitoring has become a standard part of almost every treatment program. Initially, self-monitoring was considered simply a means of getting an accurate baseline recording of the behavior. However, self-monitoring quickly became recognized as an intervention itself, often reducing the target behavior before any additional intervention was implemented (Craighead et al., 1995; Korotitsch & Nelson-Gray, 1999). Becoming mindful of the frequency, situational specificity, and amount or intensity of the behavior provides the individual with information that may challenge his or her current assumptions about the behavior and the level of control he or she has over it. As Bandura described, individuals then use this information in a complex process involving multiple judgments and comparing the current behavior to internal and external norms. Ultimately, this process leads to self-evaluations and self-reactions that promote decision making, whether the decision is to change or not to change. DiClemente, Carlo C.. Addiction and Change, Second Edition: How Addictions Develop and Addicted People Recover (Guilford Substance Abuse) (p. 174). Guilford Publications. Kindle Edition.
Glasner-Edwards, Suzette. The Addiction Recovery Skills Workbook: Changing Addictive Behaviors Using CBT, Mindfulness, and Motivational Interviewing Techniques (New Harbinger Self-help Workbooks) (pp. 105-108). New Harbinger Publications. Kindle Edition.
We discussed how important it is to be vigilant in monitoring yourself throughout the day so that you are aware of when you are about to step into some habit. Research continues to show—time and time again—that for a wide range of behaviors, monitoring on paper or electronically helps people be more successful in making changes. Learning doesn’t just happen in group. It requires applying these fledgling skills in real situations that occur in your day-to-day life. Spending a few moments reflecting on what worked, what didn’t, why not, and what you might do differently next time will help cement your learning so that you can build on it next time. Below are examples of what your monitoring might look like. Heading of Handout A/M 4.2 Stopping Habits Monitoring. Velasquez, Mary M. Group Treatment for Substance Abuse, Second Edition (Page 203). The Guilford Press. Kindle Edition.
Monitoring yourself for a week or more not only gives you a baseline to assess your progress once you take action, it can also make you more aware of exactly what needs changing. Prochaska, J. O., Norcross, J. C., & DiClemente, C. C. (1994). Changing for good. W. Morrow.
/ Here’s how to sleuth out your triggers and consequences. On a daily basis, track four features of the behavior that you’d like to change: 1. Time of day 2. Triggers: both the situation (where you were, what you were doing, who you were with) and your feelings (sad, happy, stressed, relaxed, bored, lonely, etc.) 3. Behavior: the magnitude or amount of the problem behavior (the number of drinks, the amount of money, the number of arguments) 4. Consequences: the short-term results of the problem behavior as well as the longer-term impact on your feelings and others’ reactions / worksheet here. He suggests doing this intensive type of tracking for 5 days. / Write the consequences of your research: Times of day that are problematic: Situations that trigger the problem / My feelings that trigger the problem / Immediate rewards that maintain the problem / Delayed consequences of the problem that I typically forget. Norcross, John C.. Changeology: 5 Steps to Realizing Your Goals and Resolutions (p. 88-89). Simon & Schuster. Kindle Edition.
Self-Monitoring procedures provide the best method of identifying potential High Risk Situations for cases in which access to the ongoing behavior is possible. Self-monitoring is a relatively simple technique in which the client is asked to keep a continuous (usually daily) record of the target behavior along with a brief description of such additional factors as time of occurrence, situational contexts or other antecedent factors, and the consequences (e.g. mood change) following the behavior itself. Detailed descriptions of self-monitoring as a general behavioral assessment strategy can be found in a number of sources (cf. McFall, 1977)... I usually ask the client to begin keeping self-monitoring records immediately after the first interview or intake session. To enhance interest in this procedure and to motivate the client to keep accurate and comprehensive records, I enlist the client’s cooperation by defining his or her role as that of a colleague or co-therapist - someone who is adopting a “scientific” (detached, objective) attitude toward observing his or her behavior. Many clients react very positively to this approach, since it allows them to discuss their problem with a sense of empirical detachment and peer rapport (as if client and therapist were two radiologists going over a patient’s x-rays), instead of reacting in a guilty and defensive manner. Marlatt & Gordon (1985) Relapse Prevention p. 98.
- Self-monitoring and other forms of behavioral assessment often will facilitate this sense of disidentification and detachment as clients begin to see the addiction as a habitual behavior instead of equating it directly with their self-image ("I can monitor and see changes in my drinking behavior," vs. “my drinking proves that I am an alcoholic"). The decrease in guilt and self-is more objective approach is less likely to trigger defensive mechanisms such as denial and resistance to treatment. Increasingly, as a result, the client begins to accept greater responsibility for the behavior and the habit-change endeavor. Marlatt & Gordon p. 225.
Research in many disciplines— psychology, business, health care, and more— indicates that tracking yourself increases the probability of success. Before they could begin to actively change their behavior, they needed to establish their current, or baseline, behavior. They began to track the behavior that they wanted to change and that would evolve over the course of time and effort. Tracking the progress of your goal works for at least three reasons. / First, it keeps your attention on the goal, your eye on the ball. Recording a behavior each day makes it almost impossible to “forget.” Second, it provides useful feedback, alerting you when you veer off course and telling you to adjust. There it is in black and white: you have plateaued or fallen behind your pace. Third, tracking your progress is highly rewarding. [...] As you continue to track your progress, be prepared for spontaneous improvement in your behavior, even though you have not yet moved into the later steps. This phenomenon is known as reactivity: measuring something usually improves it. Increasing your awareness of the goal frequently leads to gains in the monitored behavior. Sweet! That’s another or fourth way that tracking progress increases your chances of success. Norcross, J. C., Loberg, K., & Norcross, J. (2012). Changeology : 5 steps to realizing your goals and resolutions. Simon & Schuster. P. 58
- Tracking your progress is especially valuable if you’re unaware of how often you engage in your behavior. Norcross, J. C., Loberg, K., & Norcross, J. (2012). Changeology : 5 steps to realizing your goals and resolutions. Simon & Schuster. P. 59.
- How to track (various ideas). Norcross, J. C., Loberg, K., & Norcross, J. (2012). Changeology : 5 steps to realizing your goals and resolutions. Simon & Schuster. P. 60-61.
Consider a day counter. Wilson, Gary. Your Brain on Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction (Kindle Locations 2439-2452). Commonwealth Publishing. Kindle Edition.
Worksheet: http://www.nova.edu/gsc/forms/timeline-followback-forms.html
Worksheet: Marlatt & Gordon (1985) Relapse Prevention p. 99.
Tool: Fortify, Battle Tracker.
Tool: Urge Log. SMART Handbook p. 29.
Reference: Table 8.1 Sample monitoring form for use in cognitive behavioral therapy for substance use disorders. Adapted from Caroll (1998), Marlatt (1985) and Monti et al. (2002). Columns: Day/Time | Situation | Thoughts/feelings | Substance use? What and how much? | Positive consequences | Negative Consequences. Evidence-Based Addiction Treatment (Kindle Locations 3812-3813). Elsevier Science. Kindle Edition.
Worksheet: Glasner-Edwards, Suzette. The Addiction Recovery Skills Workbook: Changing Addictive Behaviors Using CBT, Mindfulness, and Motivational Interviewing Techniques (New Harbinger Self-help Workbooks) (pp. 105-108). New Harbinger Publications. Kindle Edition. Available at http://www.newharbinger.com/32783
Reference: Fortify’s Battle Tracker (print version). See Fight the New Drug. Fortify: The Fighter's Guide to Overcoming Pornography Addiction (Kindle Locations 3187-3207). Familius. Kindle Edition
Reference. Your Brain on Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction, Loc 2488
In the CBT study they mention "Daily tracking sheets. Participants were asked to complete daily tracking sheets to monitor and report actual pornography use, which was used as one of the study’s primary outcome measures. This sheet assessed the participant’s frequency and daily time spent viewing pornography, how problematic they felt their use was that day, in addition to their mood, perceived control over their use, their desire to use, and any notable events that occurred that day. A similar self-report daily tracking sheet was developed by Twohig and Crosby (2011) and utilized by Bridges et al (2014)." Proposed Treatment of Problematic Pornography Use: A Cognitive-Behavioral Approach Minarcik (2016)

From GYE Members

i made a commitment to update my chart every day. it takes a few minutes. don't have much patients many times. that helps a lot to keep my motivations high. going to reach 50 days tomorrow. @Anonymous.
You probably can find a post or two of mine years ago where I (probably after fallin' after a 180-day streak or somethin' like that) was advocatin' that the accumulative days are are even more important than the current streak, and I still maintain that position, but meanwhile gye doesn't agree (or it's on the queue to fix somewhere after the let'letters that mysteriously appear in my posts), and for us to actually type our past days out demonstrates a lack of humility and that hinders recovery. @Cordnoy
- Once again, if there is merit in countin', it is my (not so humble) opinion that there should be two counts recorded: one an indicator of a streak (for that builds momentum, even though at times it can beI misleadin', for there's white-knucklin' involved and finger-bitin' etc. and no real concrete change), and another number demonstratin' the amount of days/years one has been tryin' to kick thisI habit, addiction, yetzer hara, escapism, whatever the hell you'd like to call it. @Cordnoy
For many people it is demoralizing to view themselves at 0 after so much hard work. Even more important, it is simply not true. If someone falls once after lets say 100 days, why does he "go back to start"? He did not binge for a few days nor did he hide behind a veil of dishonesty. He immediately posted, cleaned himself up, and continued "climbing the mountain". To accommodate GYE rules, the official counter is at 0, but for his own understanding as to where he is really at, he is nowhere near 0. Keeping both numbers seems to be a great idea. The GYE number to publicly be honest, and the continuing number as a momentum to build on. Any comments? @HashemHelpMe
I feel OK BH. I think this is largely due to the fact that I didn't have an all or nothing approach going in and was more committed to keeping track of how I'm doing vs. reaching x amount of days (I guess I got that approach from reaching 90 and beyond many times and not finding that my urges disappeared ). @Ihavestrength
I have't done 90 yet (at least since i joined the program) but even if logically you may be correct that it may not necessarily work. It's kedai to point out that many have posted here after going hundreds of days there is no magic in 90-although obviously the longer we abstain the weaker the urge/need becomes and there probably is something to the 90 day term-but at the end of the day even if there may noy be a "addiction" and neurological pathways have changed that still wont cancel the habits we have had over many years plus the physical pleasure we receive plus good old יצר הרע which are all working together to make us fall again, so i think overall definitely sticking to the chart adds a HUGE incentive to stay clean/not to have to start over, and as a reminder about how far we've come.Keep up the battle either way! @דרך ישר
For post 90 days: Using the one day at a time approach along with upcoming goals, be they Chanuka, 100 days, Rosh Chodesh etc was very helpful for me. @HashemHelpMe
This is a bit of a dangerous one. This is a pretty good deterrent since you don't want to have to restart your count. But some people find that this becomes their focus, and also if you fall than if it means too much to you then it can become very hard to get up afterwards. I think that the key is to just use it as chizzuk that you managed to make it so far and if you fall ch"v then remember that the streak is still with you forever. Another danger is that it can cause you to feel very confident and get lulled into a false sense of security, to this we have to remember to always be on guard even after 1,000 days clean, imho this is what chaza"l mean by "ain apitropus l'arayos" (there is no guardian in areas of immorality).That no matter how good we are the danger is still there. @Inastruggle

Benefits

Download the printable 90 day chart and cross off days. Either on your phone using a pdf editing app (my personal choice) or on a paper. It gives me a sense of time that I find helpful. @Ihavestrength
Great points made by @hhm and @DY I would just like to add a point. Even if you are not using it as a motivation, it's good to keep track just to see how your recovery is going. I personally do nt update every day so as not to get obsessed, but I feel it's important to keep track to see if there are patters. Bezrat hashem the only pattern you should have is staying clean. @hakolhevel

Criticism

Downsides of focusing on 90

At first the 90 day chart and counting consecutive days was inspiring. Not anymore. For me it just makes falling feel like failing. What I need is the opposite, I am finished with that feeling of failure. For me falling isn't failing. My goal isn't not falling anymore. my goal is to be better then I was yesterday and tomorrow, to be better then today. The 90 day chart is just an ego booster or buster for me. Don't get me wrong, I use the chart as a powerful tool but for me I need to put it into context with my general growth as I progress through my journey.^[1]

Don't Count Days (From Daily Dose of Dov)

By @Dov

If I Look Down, I'll Fall and Die

Counting the days we are clean can be wonderful for some, but I hope you realize that it can also be - deep within our hearts - a counting of how long we can actually tolerate the (inevitable) buildup until the next time we act out. I believe this is very frequent. It is exactly like climbing up a ladder. I am afraid of heights. If I look back down as I am climbing, once I get to an impossibly high height, my hands and feet begin to shake. I know that I would fall.... so I never climb that high! How high do you want to climb in sobriety? If you are looking back, you will not get very high. We all know that being sober 5 years in a row is just plain impossible... for each of us, the last barrier is the "impossible height". Sure it's BS, but our feelings do not care about sechel very much. It's our Reality, so why pit ourselves against so powerful an adversary?

Instead, my experience in sobriety is like that of a guy walking across an abyss on a 2x8. Now, I have no trouble at all balancing on a 2x8 if I see it's on the floor! But if I see that it is suspended between two high buildings I will certainly panic, lose my balance, fall, and die. Looking down is just plain ossur. So I don't. And I do not count.

For about three years, I didn't mention my starting date in the groups. I'd just introduce myself and say , "...and I am grateful for today's sobriety"... till my sponsor suggested I start saying my starting date (Feb 28th, 1997) in order to encourage newbies that it really is possible.

Benjamin Franklin's Virtues Chart (recommended in Sefer Cheshbon Hanefesh).

Cheshbon Hanefesh Chart

The chart as it appears in Cheshbon Hanefesh p. 80. In Siman 24-27 he explains how to use it.
In Ch. 24 of "Cheshbon Hanefesh" (with Haskama of R' Yisroel Salanter) he has an example of a weekly and quarterly charts for various character traits. He suggest writing a 'dot' for each instance of problematic behavior, right after the behavior occurs. In Ch. 26, he suggest reviewing the daily chart on Motzoei Shabbos and updating the weekly chart. He also suggest a yearly review, so that you can see your progress.^[2]
- See below (in the Torah Sources section) from בואו חשבון that this chart concept was invented by Benjamin Franklin.
- Shmiras Einayim chart in Windows of the Soul p. 81.
  In Windows of the Soul (Day 12 - p. 81), he has a chart like this for Shmiras Einayim: "Setting aside time daily for “spiritual accounting,” is one of the most effective ways to review your behavior. In just a few minutes each day, you create a sense of accountability and heighten your awareness. Your “account” is strictly your own business. It is personal and should be kept private so you can accurately record questionable behavior without feeling embarrassed by other readers. First, review the basic principles of Shmirat Einayim. Next, review your day to see your strong points and weak points. This is a highly effective way to strengthen your best traits and behavior and uproot aveirot. For some people, a mental checklist at the end of each day works well. Many people benefit even more by keeping a small chart handy. In this way, you can view your progress over time. On the next page is a sample chart for your spiritual log. Of course, you can create your own chart to reflect your own goals. Place a “check” for times you were successful in controlling your eyes; place a “minus sign” when you did not exercise control."

Confidentiality

Sefer Chassidim (see below) writes that the journal should be written with hints, so that no one else should understand it. Note that Benjamin Franklin's version has abbreviations (and there are also versions where the first column has only one letter). By tracking multiple things (e.g. 10 rows including other goals, no one will know what P. & M. mean. There are also many other ways to do it, for example a diagonal line (/) can be added in any calendar for Masturbation and an X can be added for Porn. Additional /'s or x's can be added if there was more than one instance. @Editor.

In Maintaining Kedusha

Rabbi Avi Landau writes in Maintaining Kedushah:

Making a chart is almost always a good first tangible step to take. It is easy to do, which allows the person struggling to feel like they can do this; they can get started with this work. It also provides information for the person creating it, as well as for the person helping. However, it is a mistake to think that that is all it does. Most of the time the bad or unhealthy decisions we make repeatedly, are made thoughtlessly. We almost “shut off” our brains and simply go through the motions of, enjoying the piece of cake or piece of loshon hara etc. We usually don’t “wake up” until the behavior is done. Perhaps this is part of what Chazal refer to when describing a person doing an aveira as having a ruach shtus come over him. Charting helps in this area. Recording on a piece of paper or any other recording device, each time the unwanted behavior was performed, with the date and time, and any possible trigger, can start to raise consciousness. It forces the person daily or perhaps multiple times a day, to stay cognizant of this behavior. It becomes harder and less likely that they will smoothly and automatically go into that thoughtless mindset. The recording also allows for patterns to be seen and for a more accurate picture of the current frequency. Additionally, simply knowing that when I do this, I will have to write it down, acts as its own deterrent. I have had situations where someone wanted to stop doing something and simply charting it for a few weeks, allowed him to stop the behavior. Charting also allows for small and large successes to be recorded.
No matter what the area you are working on, it will be hard. Recognizing even small successes and celebrating them is crucial. Whether you are working on something with someone else helping you, or by yourself, you can look at your chart and notice improvement. Perhaps it is an increase of time in delaying, or a decrease in frequency altogether, either way recognize it and see yourself growing. Hashem wants us to try our best; simply staying focused and putting effort in, makes Him so proud! Always keep in mind that every time an urge is resisted it is a success.
[...] As mentioned, charting helps on multiple levels (see this concept in the general discussion on self-control). Details in the chart could include, the date and time, location, possible trigger, and intensity of the urge (e.g. 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest). However, every case is different and over time certain details will appear to be more applicable to track than others.
[...] Here we would like to once again emphasize that charting can be counterproductive if the bochur is still in the midst of struggling with strong feelings of shame (I am a bad person). As mentioned above, a necessary previous step is to normalize the struggle, and highly encourage/compliment the bochur for even approaching the topic altogether. If the bochur feels like he is normal, that this isn’t really different from working on any other aveira, e.g. loshon hara, and that he is making Hashem and everyone around him proud for every little step he takes, whether he succeeds or temporarily stumbles, then charting can be beneficial. In fact, it allows for a more tangible celebration of such small successes which can be highly motivating.

Torah Sources

Footnotes

↑ https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/347559-Am-I-going-to-suffer-for-the-rest-of-my-life?limit=15&start=45#348953
↑ See (הרב הנזיר איש כי יפליא (וולברשטיין with an example of person who did this in the Beis Hamussar in Radin.

[1] ttps://guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/347559-Am-I-going-to-suffer-for-the-rest-of-my-life?limit=15&start=45#348953

[2] See (הרב הנזיר איש כי יפליא (וולברשטיין with an example of person who did this in the Beis Hamussar in Radin.

[1]

[2]