Countering Self-Talk

References

• Dispute irrational beliefs (DIBs p. 46,) and obsessive thoughts, or do an ABC. (page 39). SMART Handbook p. 36, Part of DEADS.
• Freeing yourself from rigid behavior patterns often requires that you also free yourself from rigid thought patterns. Just as exercise substitutes healthy for unhealthy behavior, counterthinking replaces troubled thoughts with more positive ones. Successful self-changers often rely on counterthinking more than on relaxation because this technique is quick, covert, and takes relatively little energy. It can be used under almost all the conditions that trigger problem behaviors. Prochaska, James O.. Changing for Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward (p. 180). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.
• Substitute positive messages: Urges often come in the form of self-talk that gives you permission to drink. Like: "I'll just sip on one; that's not really drinking," or "I'll be drinking again in a few weeks anyway—why not now?" When this kind of idea comes up, spot it for what it is and substitute a more rational thought for it. Such as: "Not drinking at this time is key to my plan," or "Each time I refuse a drink, I get stronger." Also, you can talk directly back to the urge. Say, "Get out of here—I'm not drinking tonight," or whatever. This will help mobilize your resolve on the issue. / Moderation Management p. 60. Idea #2 for confronting your urges.
• Do you keep giving yourself an excuse like ‘I will do it one last time’ or ‘Today is the last time’? Change it to ‘Just today I am not doing it’. Wilson, Gary. Your Brain on Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction (Kindle Locations 3197-3199). Commonwealth Publishing. Kindle Edition.
• Knock it off. Interrupt the thought process and challenge it vigorously. When you whine, “I neeeeeeed it!,” dispute that nonsense. When you begin to believe a want is a must, forcibly tell yourself that you’re not a five-year-old without free will or self-discipline. When my patients try to convince me that they are helpless, I ask simply, “Could you have resisted for a thousand dollars?” Ninety-nine percent of the time, they reply, “Of course.” That proves they possess the skills to do so. Set your mind straight. Changeology p. 162.

Variations

Another way of doing this is by asking questions. Ask yourself:

• Is this what I want to do?
• Where did this urge come from?
• What’s going on right now that triggered the urge? Is it what’s going on around me? Is something bothering me?
• Am I just acting on impulse?
• Do I have to act immediately?
• Am I seeing the complete picture?
• Is drinking right now in line with my long-term goals?
• Do I want to deal with the consequences?
• What are my options?

Source: SMART Online.

Note: This can then be followed by distraction, connection, urge surfing etc.

Specs

• Learning Curve: Easy
• Practice: None
• Urge Strength: Weak / Medium
• Customization: What statement will you use
• Materials: None
• Type: "Face It"
• Brain Effect: Low
• Easier with Time: Low
• Editors choice: No

Torah Sources

• הרב יצחק דוד גרונר היה שליחו של הרבי למלבורן, אוסטרליה. הוא הגיע פעם לביקור אצל הרבי בניו יורק. לפני שחזר לאוסטרליה נכנס לקבל את ברכת הפרידה. שאל אותו הרבי: - מה תעשה בזמן הנסיעה באונייה? הוא לא ידע מה לענות. והרבי המשיך: -  כשאתה חוזר באנייה דרך כל האוקיינוס עד לאוסטרליה, קח בבקשה את כל המחשבות שלך על כך שאתה "לא יכול" "לא מסוגל" ו"לא מצליח"; את כל המחשבות שמכניסות לך עצבות ואי-הצלחה ותזרוק אותן לאוקיינוס. זאת העבודה שלך לנסיעה הזאת! (מפי השמועה)