Dealing with Urges

List of Methods

See Category: Urge Management Strategies for the latest list of methods.

Additional methods: See intercourse, and imagery techniques.

Alternative Methods from GYE Members

Note: These methods are original ideas that have not been mentioned in any scientific literature, but feel free to try it.

The "thank you" method

Reverse Psychology - When you get the urge just say, "okay, I'll do it." But then don't. This takes the sting out of the urge, and makes it feel less threatening.

Torah Sources

חשבון הנפש, לפין, אות י"ז, עמ' ל: ומעשים בכל יום בזמנינו בעוונתינו הרבים באנשים יקרים שנכוין באש היראה בימי רתיחת מזג בחרותם כשנחפזין לעקר ולשרש היצר הרע במהרה ולאבד זכרו מתוך קמטי לבבם, סופן משתקעין במרה שחורה ושיעמום הדעת, דהיינו מיתת נפש השכלית שלהם מדרס לפיל [סי' ד]. על כן צריכין אנו לשום כל מבטחינו בהערמות של גניבת דעת הבהמיות ובכל מיני תחבולות של מלאכת חינוך המדות בלבד.^[1]
- In Ch. 49 he talks at length about the importance of strategies (מוסר בלא עצה אינו מספיק כלל), and gives many examples including an ancient prevention strategy for alcoholism.

General tips from GYE Members

Start by saying "No!"

Today I started getting a slight urge ... I banged my hand against the table in a gesture of "NO! not going there" , all my good ideas are very good after the initial decision that it's not even a remote option to let the urge go further.

The sefer divrei yechezkal (shinev) says by yosef hatzadik on the word וַיְמָאֵ֓ן ‎(he denied to be with the wife of potiphar) the reason there is a shalsheles there is that when the yetzer comes to a person to tell him to sin, don't start to argue and explain to him why not to do it, he's much smarter than you and you'll lose...just say NO!!!!!! 3 times!then you can start having discussions and telling him the reasons... #DavidT^[2]

Nip it in the bud

#wilnevergiveup: Someone wrote "it feels like I am turning in the whirlpool of a toilet being flushed, you know where you are going to end up and there is little to do to stop it." When this happens, I need to grab onto something before it's too late. The hard part is that when we are turning in the toilet it's very hard to stop and think. I don't really have a good strategy for this and in the passed when I ended up this far I haven't been able to climb out. I guess the trick is not to end up here. The main idea here is to nip it as early as you can. We all fall into the trap of "if I give in a little, it will leave me alone for a while". I don't really know why after all this time we still fall for it... I don't know anyone who fell who didn't first give in a little. On the other hand, anyone who succeeds does so by saying no.^[3]

#Tzvi5: Get a stronger brain, so if it comes you could ignore it.^[4]