Self Observation

See Setbacks

Benefits

• Random tip that may or may not be helpful for some people: Download the printable 90 day chart and cross off days. Either on your phone using a pdf editing app (my personal choice) or on a paper. It gives me a sense of time that I find helpful. #Ihavestrength
• Great points made by hhm and DY I would just like to add a point. Even if you are not using it as a motivation, it's good to keep track just to see how your recovery is going. I personally do nt update every day so as not to get obssessed, but I feel it's important to keep track to see if there are patters. Bezrat hashem the only pattern you should have is staying clean. @hakolhevel

From GYE Members

• You probably can find a post or two of mine years ago where I (probably after fallin' after a 180-day streak or somethin' like that) was advocatin' that the accumulative days are are even more important than the current streak, and I still maintain that position, but meanwhile gye doesn't agree (or it's on the queue to fix somewhere after the let'letters that mysteriously appear in my posts), and for us to actually type our past days out demonstrates a lack of humility and that hinders recovery. #Cordnoy
  • Once again, if there is merit in countin', it is my (not so humble) opinion that there should be two counts recorded: one an indicator of a streak (for that builds momentum, even though at times it can beI misleadin', for there's white-knucklin' involved and finger-bitin' etc. and no real concrete change), and another number demonstratin' the amount of days/years one has been tryin' to kick thisI habit, addiction, yetzer hara, escapism, whatever the hell you'd like to call it. #Cordnoy
• For many people it is demoralizing to view themselves at 0 after so much hard work. Even more important, it is simply not true. If someone falls once after lets say 100 days, why does he "go back to start"? He did not binge for a few days nor did he hide behind a veil of dishonesty. He immediately posted, cleaned himself up, and continued "climbing the mountain". To accommodate GYE rules, the official counter is at 0, but for his own understanding as to where he is really at, he is nowhere near 0. Keeping both numbers seems to be a great idea. The GYE number to publicly be honest, and the continuing number as a momentum to build on. Any comments? #HashemHelpMe
• I feel OK BH. I think this is largely due to the fact that I didn't have an all or nothing approach going in and was more committed to keeping track of how I'm doing vs. reaching x amount of days (I guess I got that approach from reaching 90 and beyond many times and not finding that my urges disappeared  ). #Ihavestrength
• I have't done 90 yet (at least since i joined the program) but even if logically you may be correct that it may not necessarily work. It's kedai to point out that many have posted here after going hundreds of days there is no magic in 90-although obviously the longer we abstain the weaker the urge/need becomes and there probably is something to the 90 day term-but at the end of the day even if there may noy be a "addiction" and neurological pathways have changed that still wont cancel the habits we have had over many years plus the physical pleasure we receive plus good old יצר הרע which are all working together to make us fall again, so i think overall definitely sticking to the chart adds a HUGE incentive to stay clean/not to have to start over, and as a reminder about how far we've come.Keep up the battle either way! @דרך ישר
• For post 90 days: Using the one day at a time approach along with upcoming goals, be they Chanuka, 100 days, Rosh Chodesh etc was very helpful for me. #HashemHelpMe

Downsides of focusing on 90

• At first the 90 day chart and counting consecutive days was inspiring. Not anymore. For me it just makes falling feel like failing. What I need is the opposite, I am finished with that feeling of failure. For me falling isn't failing. My goal isn't not falling anymore. my goal is to be better then I was yesterday and tomorrow, to be better then today. The 90 day chart is just an ego booster or buster for me. Don't get me wrong, I use the chart as a powerful tool but for me I need to put it into context with my general growth as I progress through my journey.

From GYE Members

• שבת דף יב עמוד ב: אמר רבי ישמעאל בן אלישע: אני אקרא ולא אטה. פעם אחת קרא ובקש להטות. אמר: כמה גדולים דברי חכמים, שהיו אומרים לא יקרא לאור הנר! רבי נתן אומר: קרא והטה וכתב על פנקסו: אני ישמעאל בן אלישע קריתי והטיתי נר בשבת, לכשיבנה בית המקדש אביא חטאת שמנה.
• דהנה מדרך הצדיקים מארי דחושבנא לכתוב בכתב כל מה שפגמו ח"ו וקבעין להם יום א' בשבוע או עכ"פ יום א' בחודש להתבודד במקום מיוחד שלא יראוהו בנ"א לעשות חשבון הנפש לחשבוב ולמבדק בכל מעשיו ועניניו שבינו לבין קונו ית"ש ועל מה בא לעוה"ז, וישים אל לבו באיזה מעמד הוא עומד, ומה שעליו לתקן... ואפשר לומר שע"ז רומז המקרא קודש שלפנינו... ויבא הביתה לעשות מלאכתו כפי' התרגום למבדק "בכתבי חושבני'" פי' יום המיוחד הקבוע לו למבדק בכתב ידו על חשבון הנפש וחשב עם קונהו ית"ש... (בית אשר, גרינצויג, ח"א וישב עמ' סג)
• אחר כך קמו הדורות המאוחרות מהן הרבה שלא הספיקו להם התקנות הראשונות עוד והמציאו ענין 'חשבון הנפש' והיא תחבולה יקרה לאדם שכבר נכשל בדבר אחד שיחוקק חטאתו נגדו תמיד לעגמת נפש שעל ידי כן ינצל מלהכשל בהם שנית עוד. והנה לאותן בעלי המצאה ההיא, היה מספיק עדיין חשבון מחשבי של ראשי דברים, והיו שוהין שעה אחת שהיתה פנויה להם לחשבון ההוא בכל יום. בדורות שאחריהן הוצרכו לרושמם בספרים ומדור לדור התחילו לפרט חטאיהם בכתב יותר ויותר, עד שלא נשאר להם פנאי לעבודה העיקרית, מפני המלאכה הטפלה הזאת שאינה אלא דרך לעבודה. (חשבון הנפש, לפין, עמ' כז)