Motivation

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  • The Steipler: Thinking how the afterworld is eternal. Thinking that you don't want to defile your soul, and the spiritual worlds. Thinking that by overcoming the nisayon you'll gain a tremendous zechus. Thinking that Hashem will compensate for all the lost pleasure even in the physical world. (Kraina D'igrasa 1:109)

From GYE Members

Reasons to Quit

  • For me its just keeps coming back to the scary thought of being so stuck in porn/mast that it'll cont into marriage. The thought of my future eishis chayil just walking in and seeing me. Chills. How much life can be torn apart. And even if your never caught, how can you get so much pleasure from other women(albeit its virtual) thats not your wife. Shes(your wife) is supposed to be your life partner. How can I do this to her. #battle-of-the-gen[1]

General

  • Key motivating factor is how hard it may be the rest of your life if you dont do these 90 days. "better 90 days than 90 years" #battle-of-the-gen[2]

Long term pleasure vs. Short term pleasure

  • We all want pleasure. Every act of ours truly is motivated to some extent by pleasure. It could be the simple pleasure of eating a slice of pizza. It could be the pleasure of getting up early forgoing the pleasure of enjoying more sleep. And it could be the pleasure of connecting to Hashem through his torah and mitzvos. Hashem created the world for pleasure. And just like not all ice-cream flavors are created equal, so too, not all levels of pleasure are created equal. It’s true that sushi tastes great, but does that compare to the pleasure of loving and being loved. It’s true that listening to your favorite music is great, but does that substitute the pleasure of having a life filled with meaning. Pleasures come in different levels. Hashem wants us to have pleasure not just in olam haba but even in olam hazeh as well. The torah is there in part to help us not to get trapped in the lower levels of pleasure. It’s there so that we can focus on the pleasures that really matter. And it’s true that in order to get the higher levels of pleasure, we sometimes need to forgo the more immediate pleasure, but that too makes the pleasure that we have afterwards even greater. Lefum tzaarah agra. We are princes. And just opting for the simple life out of choice is like giving up the fortune of a billionaire father for the lick of a lollipop. It just isn’t worth it. (I once read an excellent piece by Rabbi Noach Weinberg on the five levels of pleasure in the book “what the angel taught you”. In my opinion, a must read!) #anonymousmillenial[3]

Limits of Motivation

  • There's a quote I once read. 'You don't need motivation, you need discipline.' I believe the idea is as follows. It starts with motivation; i have to want to change. And I have to really want to change. But then, even when we really want to change, sometimes we just don't feel the motivation. We feel drained, tired and fed up. And then we chas veshalom, act out. This is where discipline comes in. We have to stick to our set tasks / goals even when we no longer want to. Or at least, even when we no longer feel like we want to. We don't want to, but we do it anyway. The motivation ebbs and wanes, but the discipline we have must never change. I write this like its easy, but I'm working on it myself. Even as I write this, I'm kind of under an attack of lust. I know that I want to be good, but I almost don't care. And that's when I have to apply discipline - I will fight and stay clean, no matter what. #Im Tevakshena Kakasef[4]