SOBER

References

• SOBER Brief Meditation, adapted from Mindfulness-Based Relapse Prevention / Stop: right here and right now; this pause can allow you to step out of autopilot (instead of automatically reacting to an urge, or distressing situation) / Observe: what is happening right now, in this moment – what’s going on in your mind and body; bring gentle awareness to your thoughts, sensations, and emotions / Breathe: bring your attention to the sensations of each breath / Expand: expand your awareness to include a sense of the body and mind as a whole / Respond: now, try to make a mindful choice what to do next (if anything). Bowen, S., Chawla, N. & Marlatt, G.A. Mindfulness-based relapse prevention for addictive behaviors: A clinician's guide. New York, NY: The Guilford Press; 2011.

• The formal meditation practices taught in this course are intended to provide the foundation for integrating new perspectives and behaviors into daily life. The SOBER (Stop, Observe, Breath, Expand, Respond) breathing space (Practice 3.3 and Handout 3.1) is an adaptation of the 3-minute breathing space used in MBCT. Although we have found the SOBER breathing space to be one of the most useful daily life practices, it is not introduced until Session 3 because of the importance of establishing a foundation of practice to support it. By Session 3, participants have been introduced to the idea of stopping and stepping out of autopilot, and have now had 2 weeks of observing the physical sensations in their bodies, laying the groundwork for the observe step. Similarly, bringing focus to the breath now has a context, and participants have had some familiarity with this practice as well. In a high-risk or stressful situation, a history of meditation can help individuals draw upon these practices. We continue to practice the SOBER mini-meditation in future sessions, presenting it slightly differently each time to continue to generalize the skills. Bowen, Sarah. Mindfulness-Based Relapse Prevention for Addictive Behaviors (Page 84). Guilford Press. Kindle Edition.
  • We have presented the SOBER breathing space from a few different angles. As  in MBCT, we often describe it using the image of an hourglass: We begin with a  broad focus, then narrow the focus to the breath, and finally expand back out to a  wider awareness, illustrating the hourglass, alongside the SOBER acronym, on the  whiteboard. Bowen, Sarah; Chawla, Neha; Marlatt, G. Alan. Mindfulness-Based Relapse Prevention for Addictive Behaviors (p. 84). Guilford Publications. Kindle Edition.
• Regarding benefits of breathing, see the explanation here.
• Regarding Stop - See Thought Stopping in O'Donohue 2008 p. 18.
• Short description by the originator of SOBER

Summary

By GYE

SOBER is an acronym that has been created to help you remember the protocol of taking a pause whenever you are triggered and feel an urge.

You can think of SOBER as an hourglass. When you enter this meditation, your awareness is expanded around things that you want to let go of. Then, the awareness contracts in the middle of the hourglass. And towards the end, the awareness expands again, but mindfully this time.

1. Stop, Step out or Shift out of autopilot mode. Apply the brakes. Recognize that you have an urge, and tell yourself, "wait a second!"].
2. Observe - Shift your awareness to your inner state. What bodily sensations do you notice? There may be some tightness or clenching, tingling or numbness. What thoughts are going through the mind? What emotions are here? Label them if you can, or observe them. Simply notice whatever is here right now; not as you would like it to be, but just as it is.
3. Breath - Focus on your breathing. Notice where you feel your breath the most. This could be the tip of your nose, or the chest and upper abdomen; whatever this is for you, rest your awareness here and begin to notice the in and out or rise and fall as you breathe. Gather your attention and shift it to the lower abdomen. Observe the expansion and the falling of the abdomen. Notice the regular lifting and falling as each breath comes and goes. Do this for a few breaths.
4. Expand - Allow your awareness to expand so that it includes a sense of the body as a whole, including your thoughts and feelings. Notice the weight and shape of the body and the room around you. You may also think about the presence of God.
5. Respond - Respond to whatever you have discovered through the process, with mindful intention. You are now in charge. If you noticed an urge, make a choice on how to respond to the urge rather than just reacting. Realize that you have a couple of options and ask yourself what action you really want to do.

Notes

Regarding the concept of stopping see also: Stop, get away and redirect attention (including from sexual excitement):

Stop what you are doing and admit you are in a danger zone. As soon as the thought crosses your mind that you are doing something that could make you susceptible to becoming actively involved with porn again, you need to stop. If you dismiss or rationalize away warning signs of danger, you set yourself up to plunge further down into the Relapse Zone. On the other hand, validating your awareness of being in vulnerable territory and choosing to immediately disengage from your porn-oriented thinking and behavior helps you to break out of the trance-like state that often accompanies a relapse. Stopping is a way of giving yourself an opportunity to acknowledge that what you are doing is dangerous and will lead to problems. “When I realize I’m looking at something that is similar to porn,” Corey told us, “I stop, and tell myself, This is porn and I need to stop! Hearing myself say it out loud brings me into reality again. It keeps me from lying to myself, which, obviously, I had gotten pretty good at doing when I was watching porn.” / Take a walk, call a friend, listen to music, spend time in nature…do whatever it takes to shift your consciousness away from porn. (See exercise, “Shifting Your Attention.”) Maltz, Wendy.

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Sample Script

A SOBER Breathing Meditation

By buzymindz.com for GYE

• This session is based on the SOBER breathing technique.

[Reader Notes]

• Read the following script with intention and guidance.
• Use your normal speaking tone of voice, there is no need to put on a ‘meditation’ voice for this script.
• Allow pauses where indicated, so as to allow the meditator to practice the indicated technique

[Pause Key]:

/ Short pause: Reader takes a long breath.

// Medium pause: Reader pauses for 15 seconds.

/// Long pause: Reader pauses for 30 seconds +

[Session Begins]

Welcome to the GYE SOBER Breathing meditation.

SOBER is an acronym that has been created to help you remember the protocol of taking a pause whenever you are triggered and feel the urge to engage in pornographic behaviors.

S indicates stop or slow down

O is to observe what is happening

B is for Breathe - calming the mind and the body,

E is to expand your awareness

R is to reflect or respond mindfully to what is happening.

/

As we begin the meditation, find a seat where you will be comfortable, but not too relaxed.

Sit upright, with your spine aligned and drop your shoulders, tilt your head forward slightly and lower your gaze to the ground.

Lean forward slightly in your chair to maintain alertness, finding a position you can maintain for the next 10 minutes or so.  

//

For this meditation, we will use the breath as an intervention, to manage urges or desires while developing awareness of both internal and external triggers.

/

Now that you are reasonably comfortable, go ahead and slow down, this is the first step in the SOBER acronym.

You can do this by taking several long deep breaths in and with each exhale allow yourself to relax a little more.

//

Now bringing awareness to the body, notice where you feel your breath the most.

This could be the tip of your nose, or the chest and upper abdomen; whatever this is for you, rest your awareness here and begin to notice the in and out or rise and fall as you breathe.

//

Following the breath in this way, allows you to step out of autopilot with little awareness and become present and more mindfully aware of what’s happening moment to moment.

/

Now shift your awareness to your inner state and we are going to stay here for a few moments so you can observe what is happening in your internal world.

Starting with the mind, notice what thoughts are going through the mind?

Try and acknowledge these thoughts as mental events rather than facts.

/

Now turn your attention to emotions. What emotions are here?

Label them if you can, if not just observe them.

//

Now allow any bodily sensations to enter your awareness, what do you notice here right now? There may be some tightness or clenching, tingling or numbness.

There is no need to cast judgement or alter anything at all, simply notice whatever is here right now; not as you would like it to be, but just as it is.

//

Now moving on the B in SOBER, the breath, gather your attention and shift it to the lower abdomen. From here you can observe the expansion and the falling of the abdomen as your breath unfolds moment to moment

//

Noticing the regular lifting and falling

As each breath comes and goes

//

When your mind wanders to plans, or desires, as soon as you notice, gently escort the attention back to the lower abdomen and the breath.

From here you can continue to notice the rising and falling of the abdomen, as it unfolds moment to moment.

//

Keeping your attention here on the abdomen, gather your attention to one spot, and then from here notice how the breath affects this one spot on your lower abdomen. If it helps place your hand there to help you focus your attention

//

And when the mind wanders again, as soon as you notice, acknowledge where it has gone before gently escorting it back to the abdomen where you can resume observing the rise and fall

///  

Now,  moving on to the E in SOBER, allow your awareness to expand so that it includes a sense of the body as a whole. Noticing the weight and shape of the body. As you rest here moment by moment, in this spacious awareness.

As you allow your awareness to expand, let any thoughts, emotions or sensations to come and go without judgement or criticism.

///

Whatever is happening as you sit here, know that you can reflect on any thoughts, emotions or sensations without judgement; just noticing, observing and letting them be.

/

Now,  we arrive at the final letter of SOBER - R and this is where we can choose to respond to whatever we have discovered through the process, with mindful intention.

You may notice an urge, and as you slow down, observe, breathe, expand you can now choose how to respond to this urge.

You can do the same with any thoughts or emotions that show up.

I will give you 60 seconds now to choose the response that you would like to make to whatever has shown up for you during this session.

///

As we near the end of this meditation, take a moment to reflect on what you found during this session.

Hopefully, you were able to engage with each of the steps of the SOBER acronym, and if not, then the more you practice this meditation the easier it will become to follow.

Finally, whatever you were able to do during this session, congratulate yourself on completing the SOBER Breathing meditation.

/

Now take a deep breath in and as you exhale, lift your gaze or open your eyes, wiggle your fingers and toes and then return to the room.

Thank you for joining me for this SOBER breathing meditation brought to you by GYE. Remember the more you practice the easier it will become.

You can find information and further resources on internet abuse and pornography addiction at guard your eyes dot com

Sober Breathing Meditation

By C. Jackson for GuardYourEyes

Welcome to this guided meditation - a SOBER breathing space. If you have arrived at this meditation, chances are, you are trying to deal with an urge.

SOBER is an acronym for a five step meditation, and it stands for Stop, Observe, Breathe, Expand, and Respond.

You can think of it as an hourglass. When you enter this meditation, your awareness is expanded around things that you want to let go of. Then, the awareness contracts in the middle of the hourglass. And towards the end, the awareness expands again, but mindfully this time.

So, let’s begin the meditation now. [pause]

Find a position that’s comfortable for you.

There’s no right or wrong, maybe you want to be seated in a chair today, or seated on the floor. You may choose to lie on your bed, or even lie down on the floor.

Get comfortable as you settle into this space. [pause]

If it feels good, go ahead and gently close your eyes.

So, let’s begin with the first step.

Start by focusing on the urge that is overwhelming for you right now.

Now picture a sign in your mind that says ‘Stop’. Using the voice inside your head, read this sign loud and clear, and give your mind a chance to switch off the autopilot mode, this is the overwhelmed or unmindful mode.

Let go of any thoughts that may be arising in this moment.

You can do it. Yes, you can!

Let the thoughts go, simply focus on the ‘Stop’ sign.

You don’t need these thoughts in this present moment.

Let them drift away. [pause]

Very good!

Now, the second step is to observe.

Take the next few moments to tune into your body.

Notice any sensations by scanning your body from the crown of your head to the tip of your toes.

PAUSE

Do you feel any tension or unease? [pause]

Is there any feeling in your gut area? [pause]

Know that you are in a safe space, so whatever you may find, simply let it be.

You don’t have to think about it, instead, just observe.

Now observe any emotions and feelings that you might have.

You don’t have to find labels for them.

Simply observe them in a non-judgmental way.

PAUSE

Now, let’s move on to the third step.

Start to build your focus around your breath.

The air entering your nose.

The air leaving your body through your nose or mouth.

If your mind drifts away, know that your breath is with you.

So no matter how many times your mind wanders away, you can bring it back with the power of your breath.

As you take your next breath in, make it deeper and longer. [pause]

Inhale deeply and fully through the nose, pause 1,2,3.

Now exhale through your mouth.

Sigh it out. Very good!

Inhale one more time through your nose, and exhale with a sigh. [pause]

Inhale, and let it relax your mind and body. [pause] Exhale and let it take away all the tension.

PAUSE

Now, bring your breath back to its normal pace [pause].

The pace that feels the most comfortable for you.

The fourth step is to expand.

Expand your awareness, including your body and your mind.

Notice how it feels compared to when you started this meditation.

Do you feel calmer than before? Do you feel your mind has become lighter?

Simply notice yourself as a whole. [pause]

How does this expansion of awareness feel after allowing yourself to stop, observe, and breathe? Remember, you don’t have to judge anything.

Just allow your awareness to wrap your whole being.

Now, let’s move to the fifth, and final step.

Ask yourself about a response to the situation you were in.

Think of a mindful response, and not a reaction.

Ask yourself, how can I solve this problem?

Know that you are capable of controlling your urges.

So, think of the ways in which you can respond to those urges. It’s okay if you don’t have any immediate answers.

Now that your mind is calm, and your body relaxed, it knows the way to deal with the urges.

Trust your inner wisdom, that it will bring the answers to the surface, and help you react mindfully to such situations.

PAUSE

Now take a deep breath in, [pause] and a deep breath out.

Become aware of the surface beneath you.

Feel the air that surrounds you. Try to listen to any surrounding sounds. Gently wiggle your fingers. Wiggle your toes. And when ready, open your eyes. [pause]

Thank you for joining me. You can return to this SOBER breathing space as many times as you need, or want to. You can practice it anywhere. I look forward to seeing you for your next meditation.

Recordings

• https://www.mindfulrp.com/For-Clients
• https://soundcloud.com/gye-216913456/sets/sober-breathing-space