Difference between revisions of "Shame"
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| + | We generally use the words “shame” and guilt” interchangeably. One may say, “I am ashamed of what I did”, meaning “I feel guilty over what I did.” Technically, however, the two terms are different. Guilt is about what a person did, and it can be a constructive feeling in that it can lead one to Teshuvah, to take corrective action. Shame, however, is what one feels he '''''is'''''. In other words, guilt is “I '''''made''''' a mistake”, whereas shame is “I '''''am''''' a mistake”. If one feels that he is inherently flawed, that he is made of “bad stuff”, there is nothing he can do to change that. With guilt there is hope of improvement, but not with shame. --''Rabbi Twerski, GYE Handbook'' | ||
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== References == | == References == | ||
Revision as of 00:27, 2 December 2020
We generally use the words “shame” and guilt” interchangeably. One may say, “I am ashamed of what I did”, meaning “I feel guilty over what I did.” Technically, however, the two terms are different. Guilt is about what a person did, and it can be a constructive feeling in that it can lead one to Teshuvah, to take corrective action. Shame, however, is what one feels he is. In other words, guilt is “I made a mistake”, whereas shame is “I am a mistake”. If one feels that he is inherently flawed, that he is made of “bad stuff”, there is nothing he can do to change that. With guilt there is hope of improvement, but not with shame. --Rabbi Twerski, GYE Handbook
References
- Maia Szalavitz, “Being Ashamed of Drinking Prompts Relapse, Not Recovery,” Time, February 7, 2013, http://healthland.time.com/2013/02/07/being-ashamed-of-drinking-prompts-relapse-not-recovery. See Discussion page for more quotes from that article.
- The Weight of Negativity. Peele, Stanton; Thompson, Ilse. Recover! (p. 104). Hachette Books. Kindle Edition.
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From GYE Members
- Just one more thought, I have been searching for something like GYE for a long time now (I don't have google search with my filter) because I was not willing to share my suffering with anyone. The feeling of being alone in the world with these challenges and no one to share them with was extremely overwhelming. Finally finding GYE gives me a feeling of relief, like "wow this is exactly what I need". @wilnevergiveup