Pause

This entry will discuss what to do before doing a technique.

Recipes

Escape
Acknowledge the Urge. Check in with your values. Then Surf the Urge The Happiness Trap (pp. 116-117)^[1]
Stop - Shift out of Autopilot. Observe your thoughts and feelings. Focus on your breathing for a few breaths. Expand your awareness to your whole body. Choose which action you want to do. SOBER
Acknowledge that you don't need to give in. Gratitude breathing. Tell yourself that your urge wants you do something which is only good in the short term, but you won't do it since it's bad in the long term. Then Connect via an act of kindness. FRC
Step back and observe. Realize what is happening. (i.e. be on the alert for urges, so that you catch them early.). Take a few breaths. Connect to your values. Respond in a healthy way. STAR
Stop what you are doing and admit you are in a danger zone (e.g. say "This is porn and I need to stop!"). The get as far away as possible. If it's just a thought, shift your attention. Maltz (2008)^[2] See Escape.

Required: Shifting out of autopilot is a recurring theme, this can be done acknowledging the urge, or by just thinking STOP.
Optional: Escape.
Optional: Relax
- Option 1: Become present (observe thoughts and feelings, focus on breaths, expand awareness). SOBER.
- Option 2: Gratitude Breathing. FRC
- Option 3: Just take a few breaths. STAR.
Optional: Connect to your values. The Happiness Trap, STAR, in FRC this is done with prewritten statements.
Required: Respond, choose an action that you want to do. SOBER, STAR. In FRC, this is called Connect.
- This can also be a distraction (Maltz), or Urge Surfing (The Happiness Trap).

↑ So when it comes to handling your urges effectively, the first step is simply to acknowledge what you’re feeling. Just silently say to yourself, “I’m having the urge to do X.” The second step is to check in with your values: “Will acting on this urge help me be the person I want to be? Will it help me take my life in the direction I want?” If the answer is yes, then go ahead and act, using that urge to guide you and give you momentum. But if the answer is no, then instead take some action that’s more in line with your values... So what do we do if an urge pushes us in one direction and our values pull us in another? We don’t want to struggle with that urge because then it’s hard to focus on effective action. So rather than try to resist, control, or suppress it, the aim in ACT is to make room for it, to give it enough time and space to expend all its energy—in other words, to practice expansion. And one marvelously useful technique for this is known as “urge surfing.” Harris, Russ. The Happiness Trap (pp. 116-117). Shambhala. Kindle Edition.
↑ Maltz, W., & Maltz, L. (2008). The porn trap : the essential guide to overcoming problems caused by pornography. Collins.