Normalizing
It's normal to struggle
No one is immune
References
- Bava Basra 164b. Tosfos Chullin 37b that only Yechezkel Hanovi was able to attest that he was immune to this.
- Even the greatest Gedolim have struggled with such thoughts and temptations. Kiddushin 81a-81b regarding R’ Amram Chasida, R’ Meir, and R’ Chiya bar Ashi. Rashi Sanhedrin 31b about
- Mar Ukvah. Bava Metzia 85a regarding the son of R’ Elazar ben R’ Shimon.
- General Normalization - See והתקדשתם ch. 31 p. 3 and on
- כל הגדול מחבירו יצרו גדול הימנו - ch. 31 p. 20 and on.
Rav Masya Ben Charash
The Medrash Yalkut Shimoni (Vayechi) tells this story:
Once the Satan fixed his sight on Masya ben Charash who was a big Tzaddik, and said to himself: "Is it possible that this man does not sin?" Then the Satan went and asked G-d: "How do you view Rabbi Masya Ben Charash?" And G-d replied: "He is a perfect Tzaddik". The Satan said to G-d: "Give me permission to put him to the test". G-d told the Satan: "Go".
The Satan appeared to the Rabbi as a beautiful woman, the likes of which had never been in the world. When the Tzaddik saw her, he immediately turned his face away. Then the woman quickly moved to the side where Rabbi Masya had turned his face to, and again he quickly turned his face away. Then the Tzaddik said: "I am afraid that my Yetzer Hara will overpower me and cause me to sin". What did the Tzaddik do? He called a student that was with him and ordered him to bring him fire with nails. The student brought him nails and the Tzaddik put them into the fire and then to his eyes and became blind. When the Satan saw this, he trembled and fell on his back.
At that time The Holy One Blessed be He called the angel Raphael - for he is in charge of healing - and told him: "Go and heal Rabbi Masya Ben Charash". Then Raphael came in front of the Rabbi and the Rabbi asked him: "Who are you?" and he replied: "I am Raphael the angel, I came for G-d sent me to cure your eyes". Rabbi Masya replied: "Leave me alone, what is already done is done". Raphael returned before the Holy One Blessed be He and said: "Master of the World, thus spoke Masya". G-d said to Raphael: "Go back to him and tell him that I will personally guarantee that the Yetzer Hara will have no power over him". Immediately Raphael went and cured Masya. From here our Sages said: "All those who are careful not to look at women, the Yetzer Hara has no power over them".
Rav Amram the Chasid
The Gemara in Kidushin 81/a tells this story:
Some women who had been taken captive were redeemed and brought to Nehardai. They were kept in the attic of Rav Amram the Chasid and the ladder was removed. At night, a beam of light reflected off one of the women, revealing her beauty. Rav Amram was seized with lust and he moved the ladder (which normally needs 10 people to move it) to ascend. As he was halfway up, he screamed "There is a fire in Rav Amram's house!" and the Rabanan (Rabbis and students) flocked to his house. After they saw that there was no fire they said to him, "You embarrassed us (with your behavior)!" Answered Rav Amram: "It is better to suffer embarrassment in this world than in the next".
In our times
- Rabbi Yaakov Emden related in Megilas Sefer (Ed. Warsaw, 5657) p. 82 how he was personally tempted, and barely withstood the test.
- See also Rav Elyah Lopian, Reb Itche der Masmid.
GYE Boost
- Adam & Chava's First Nightfall - Rabbi Chanoch Henry Harris talks about the normalcy of falls and new beginnings.
- The Beauty in the Process - By Rabbi Moshe Weinberger. In spiritual matters, the "destination" is not the goal. The very process of growing, with all its ups and downs, is what makes the results so beautiful in the end. So don't worry if your growth seems slow and full of disappointments. As long as you are trying and making progress, the journey itself is the most precious thing in Hashem's eyes!"
- WHAT'S EXPECTED OF US. By Rabbi Moshe Weinberger. Is Shmiras Einayim and Shmiras Habris something you really CARE about?
- WE'RE NOT ANGELS - By Rabbi Shmuel Baron. What is the key to being an erliche Jew?
- See also WHO'S THE FREAK? By Rabbi Yisroel Brog. Don't be naïve about the nature of these desires. (Talks about how common it is… normal to have tayva. just weird that he'll tell a wife to suspect her husband.)
From GYE Members
- What keeps me going is ... seeing that so many normal people have this struggle and I'm not a low life for having this issue #Shnitzel and kugel[1]
Sources:
- See The Steipler, 1:110 and 1:113.
- Rav Shlomo Wolbe