Difference between revisions of "Setbacks"
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== Chizuk from GYE Members == | == Chizuk from GYE Members == | ||
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| + | === Don't roll down the mountain === | ||
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| + | * Imagine a guy is climbing a mountain for 23 days, he's high up. Then he falls in a ditch, and he bangs himself all up. He gets the choice now: He can either to roll down the hill, and be back at square one. Or he can get up, sit on the edge of the ditch which he fell into it. He can bandage his knees, he can enjoy the scenery while he recuperates from them. The same thing is with you. You kept yourself clean for 23 days, which you never did before. And now you watched pornography and masturbated. You didn't roll down the hill. You're in control. You're able to deal with this. We're all human. We all slip and fall once in a while. It's okay. Move on, get up and move on. This time you might go 40 days until you slip. And you'll keep getting better. The GYE chart might say 40 days, but you're really 63. Some guys binge after a fall, they'll spend six days up till four in the morning, watching pornography and masturbating until can't produce any more sperm. And then they reach out for help. They just rolled down to the bottom of the Hill. #HashemHelpMe | ||
=== You're not a failure === | === You're not a failure === | ||
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* A wonderful user here called "sleepy" just recently wrote something beautiful. "You didn't fail, you fell". Remember, falling down after a month of climbing means you are still way, way up the mountain already. #Grant400<ref>https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/352981-Falling-after-month-of-being-clean#352991</ref> | * A wonderful user here called "sleepy" just recently wrote something beautiful. "You didn't fail, you fell". Remember, falling down after a month of climbing means you are still way, way up the mountain already. #Grant400<ref>https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/352981-Falling-after-month-of-being-clean#352991</ref> | ||
| − | + | === Setbacks are part of the process === | |
* We are rooting for you and you can do it!!! SHEVA yipol tzadik vkam. Good people FALL more than once and that itself is how we grow to great heights! I am no at 270 days clean and my last streak was 272...BUT I fell in between MANY times....Don't be down about a fall even if you had one back to back. KNOW that Hashem wants you to succeed and that you have the ability to do so! Seva Yipol Tzadik...VKAM. If you keep giving it your best, then eventually you WILL get back up. #Realestatemogul <ref>https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349535-Starting-again!!!?limit=15&start=15#354387</ref> | * We are rooting for you and you can do it!!! SHEVA yipol tzadik vkam. Good people FALL more than once and that itself is how we grow to great heights! I am no at 270 days clean and my last streak was 272...BUT I fell in between MANY times....Don't be down about a fall even if you had one back to back. KNOW that Hashem wants you to succeed and that you have the ability to do so! Seva Yipol Tzadik...VKAM. If you keep giving it your best, then eventually you WILL get back up. #Realestatemogul <ref>https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349535-Starting-again!!!?limit=15&start=15#354387</ref> | ||
| − | + | === Dealing with the [[Abstinence Violation Effect|AVE]]=== | |
* Here's an idea I use to stop the continuing effect of a fall. Do something that says to you that it's over. Meaning, that if you fall again or are tempted to fall again it is like falling for the first time of a new round and not a continuous fall from the past time. For example, take a shower, give tzedaka or learn a bit of mussar and say to Hashem "I am starting over". Create anything or invent any idea that says clearly that the past behavior is over. I'm starting anew. What this does is, it stops the feeling of "If I fall again nothing changed, when I stop I'll start over". It gives you the guilt of breaking a new streak instead of feeling discouraged and continuing the original fall. #Grant400<ref>https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349535-Starting-again!!!?limit=15&start=15#354391</ref> | * Here's an idea I use to stop the continuing effect of a fall. Do something that says to you that it's over. Meaning, that if you fall again or are tempted to fall again it is like falling for the first time of a new round and not a continuous fall from the past time. For example, take a shower, give tzedaka or learn a bit of mussar and say to Hashem "I am starting over". Create anything or invent any idea that says clearly that the past behavior is over. I'm starting anew. What this does is, it stops the feeling of "If I fall again nothing changed, when I stop I'll start over". It gives you the guilt of breaking a new streak instead of feeling discouraged and continuing the original fall. #Grant400<ref>https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349535-Starting-again!!!?limit=15&start=15#354391</ref> | ||
* In my experience the most difficult part of the battle is getting back up after a fall. By far. It's not easy, and requires a boatload of resolve. But you've done it before and you can do it again. #Jj123<ref>https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/352981-Falling-after-month-of-being-clean#353068</ref> | * In my experience the most difficult part of the battle is getting back up after a fall. By far. It's not easy, and requires a boatload of resolve. But you've done it before and you can do it again. #Jj123<ref>https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/352981-Falling-after-month-of-being-clean#353068</ref> | ||
Revision as of 20:10, 10 November 2020
Beware of Despair
- See Rav Shlomo Wolbe, The Steipler
- See Chapter 9 - "Don't Despair" in The Battle of the Generation
Articles
Chizuk from GYE Members
Don't roll down the mountain
- Imagine a guy is climbing a mountain for 23 days, he's high up. Then he falls in a ditch, and he bangs himself all up. He gets the choice now: He can either to roll down the hill, and be back at square one. Or he can get up, sit on the edge of the ditch which he fell into it. He can bandage his knees, he can enjoy the scenery while he recuperates from them. The same thing is with you. You kept yourself clean for 23 days, which you never did before. And now you watched pornography and masturbated. You didn't roll down the hill. You're in control. You're able to deal with this. We're all human. We all slip and fall once in a while. It's okay. Move on, get up and move on. This time you might go 40 days until you slip. And you'll keep getting better. The GYE chart might say 40 days, but you're really 63. Some guys binge after a fall, they'll spend six days up till four in the morning, watching pornography and masturbating until can't produce any more sperm. And then they reach out for help. They just rolled down to the bottom of the Hill. #HashemHelpMe
You're not a failure
- A wonderful user here called "sleepy" just recently wrote something beautiful. "You didn't fail, you fell". Remember, falling down after a month of climbing means you are still way, way up the mountain already. #Grant400[1]
Setbacks are part of the process
- We are rooting for you and you can do it!!! SHEVA yipol tzadik vkam. Good people FALL more than once and that itself is how we grow to great heights! I am no at 270 days clean and my last streak was 272...BUT I fell in between MANY times....Don't be down about a fall even if you had one back to back. KNOW that Hashem wants you to succeed and that you have the ability to do so! Seva Yipol Tzadik...VKAM. If you keep giving it your best, then eventually you WILL get back up. #Realestatemogul [2]
Dealing with the AVE
- Here's an idea I use to stop the continuing effect of a fall. Do something that says to you that it's over. Meaning, that if you fall again or are tempted to fall again it is like falling for the first time of a new round and not a continuous fall from the past time. For example, take a shower, give tzedaka or learn a bit of mussar and say to Hashem "I am starting over". Create anything or invent any idea that says clearly that the past behavior is over. I'm starting anew. What this does is, it stops the feeling of "If I fall again nothing changed, when I stop I'll start over". It gives you the guilt of breaking a new streak instead of feeling discouraged and continuing the original fall. #Grant400[3]
- In my experience the most difficult part of the battle is getting back up after a fall. By far. It's not easy, and requires a boatload of resolve. But you've done it before and you can do it again. #Jj123[4]
- ↑ https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/352981-Falling-after-month-of-being-clean#352991
- ↑ https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349535-Starting-again!!!?limit=15&start=15#354387
- ↑ https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349535-Starting-again!!!?limit=15&start=15#354391
- ↑ https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/352981-Falling-after-month-of-being-clean#353068